Page 70 of In Between Darkness

“Yeah, but I didn’t. Let’s not forget who asked for whose help here,” he defends and gestures to River’s prone body. “New plan.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

River is still knocked out, but Ryder has tied him to a tree trunk as a precaution. Ryder claims that River won’t be able to use his powers of Influence while the moon still hangs high in the sky. He left to find some ingredients to create a memory loss serum and assured me he would be back before sunrise. That’s his new plan. It’s pretty genius, really.

I sit on the wooden bench in the forest, keeping a close eye on River. I can’t help but feel a sadness run through my body. Ryder was right. River is too good to like someone like me, and now he is going to forget everything important about me… about us. I tried to be normal, and look where it got me. I pick up a stone and fiddle with it in my fingers.

“I’m sorry, River,” I say to him, even though I know he can’t hear me. The pit in my stomach won’t go away. I can’t believe this is what my life has become. To think, two days ago, the only thing I was worried about was which of the Sun Gods would visit me. Now Oriah has thrown a colossal spanner in the works. I hear a grunt, and I know River is waking up. He lifts his head slowly and looks around at his surroundings, confused. His eyes meet mine. He doesn’t even try to fight the rope; instead, he just looks at me defeated, and my heart sinks. This isn’t me. This isn’t what I do. The guilt is overwhelming, but I can’t think of another way to protect my secret. Oriah’s words still haunt me: ‘If they find out about you, they will want you dead.’ This is bigger than just me.

“Asha, why?” His sad eyes torment me. I can’t face him; I have to look away.

“I had to; trust me, this is for the best,” I say, throwing the rock into the depths of the forest.

“Trust you? How can I trust you when you keep lying to me?” He has a point; I did lie, but I did it because I didn’t have a choice. I’m not lying about my race, though.

“I wasn’t lying,” I sigh and play with my fingers again.

“You were being serious?” I nod, waiting for another insult, but it doesn’t come.

“So, there is an ancient race, the Starkind. And you’re one of them?” he asks.

“Honestly, I wish it weren’t true…but it is,” I say and walk over to him. “But I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t mean to trap you. I was so scared I had killed you.”

I go to stroke his face, but he flinches at my touch. A tear rolls down my cheek.

“This is the only way… I can’t have you getting hurt again.”

“What are you going to do?” he asks, probably fearing my response.

“Ryder has gone to make a memory loss serum. One drop and you won’t remember any of this.”

“What if I don’t want to forget?” He drops his head at this, and I can’t help but feel sorry for him. I’m taking away his memories.

“Do you really think you could carry on knowing what you know?” I ask. “You can’t even look at me.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you’re right,” he says, staring at the floor in front of him. “But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“How youfeltabout me, you mean?” I say, remembering the disgust on his face moments earlier.

“No. Feel, Asha. I can’t just turn my feelings off for you. Believe me, I wish I could.”

I smile regretfully at him, and our conversation is interrupted by the sounds of Ryder’s footsteps coming this way.

“What did I miss?” Ryder says, sarcasm lacing his words. He holds a blue serum in his hand, which he throws over to me.

River kisses his teeth and turns his head in the opposite direction to Ryder.

“Ermm, nothing,” I say, rising to my feet and examining the blue solution Ryder threw to me. I take a long breath out. “Right, let’s get this over with.”

I bend down to his level, getting ready to administer the serum.

“W-wait!” River shouts. “B-before you start. I know I will hate myself if I don’t say this before I forget… but be careful with him.” He looks over at Ryder. “You’re doing this because you don’t want me to get hurt? Well, I don’t want you to get hurt either… He’s a Moon, Asha. They’re all the same.”

I look away, trying to brush off what he is telling me. Ryder wouldn’t hurt me, would he?

“You have to remember, I’m half Moon too,” I counter.

“But I won’t remember, will I? Just promise me you are going to be careful… Please.”