Page 83 of Impulse

Why was he so damn cheerful?“Why aren’t you at work?”

“Because I’m spending the day with you.Come on.Eat.”

The pancakes looked amazing and the mini sandwiches were enough to feed an army, but Jillian’s taste buds had stopped working.So she shredded her pancake, sipped the coffee, and listened to Lex’s voice without hearing his words, her mind miles away, until he covered her hand.

Jillian stared at him and blinked.

“Did you hear anything I said?”

She appreciated his attempts to engage her, but her heart and head were out of the game.“I’m sorry.I really need to lie down.”

“Not yet.Try a sandwich instead of that goo.”He removed the mashed pancakes and gave her his plate with one of the sandwiches.“If you eat, I’ll get you the Cheetos and the ice cream.”He shuddered.“Nasty combination.”

She focused on him, seeing past the teasing smile to the concern in his eyes.She felt bad.He was being the perfect host.She picked up the sandwich and took a bite, then another.She finished the first one.

“Much better.Now talk to me.”He placed a second on her plate.

“About?”

“Your family.”

“I’ll pass.”That subject was still too painful.

“I meant before your mother married your stepfather.”

Her mom.How she missed her.Their earlier crazy life?Not so much.Was she ready to share the past with Lex?She’d never told anyone about New York, not even Chris.But Chris probably knew.He and her mother had become very close just before she died.He’d worked with her, too.

“Whatexactlydo you want to know?”Jillian asked, hedging.

“Where were you born?”

“New York somewhere.”Funny she rarely thought about her childhood.Her memories of the years before the Finnegans were sketchy at best.

“How old were you when you left?”Lex sat up, his eyes not leaving her face.

He was wearing a blue polo shirt that added splashes of blue to his grays, like a cloudy day.Funny how he could be completely comfortable in tailored suits and also in casual wear.She found herself studying his toes.Sheesh, was everything about him beautiful?

“Jillian?”

Her eyes flew to his face.What were they discussing?Uh, New York.She didn’t want to talk about New York.She wanted to crawl into bed and watch aLifetimemovie and cry over someone else’s sob story.

“Our time in New York is a blur.I remember a house and a nice backyard and a man who’d visit us.”A memory flitted through her head, but she couldn’t hold on to it.She remembered her mother being happy whenever he visited and that he’d buy them stuff—food, toys, and books.She still owned some.He’d loved reading to her.How could she not remember his face?

“I attended a regular school.I was in second grade when Mom picked me up early from school and said we were going on an adventure.She’d already packed our suitcases.”It was so long ago it felt like it had happened to someone else.“It took us nearly three years to get to California.”

Jillian glanced at Lex.His intelligent eyes had narrowed at her confession.She wondered what he was thinking.Compared to his upbringing, hers must sound weird.

“Why three years?”he asked.

“We made several stops.Manystops.”Jillian smiled, remembering some of them.“We visited every landmark and monument in the states we passed or lived in.Mom found odd jobs and a place for us to stay for a few months.Some were great.”Memories flashed in her head.Good and bad ones.“Others not, but we had each other.After a while we’d pack up and leave again.Since she homeschooled me, we didn’t have to worry about school.”

“And your father?”Lex asked, an angry expression on his face.

Jillian didn’t want to deal with his feelings right now.Not when she was barely holding on to hers.She tried to picture the man in New York again, but the memories still eluded her.She never really gave him much thought after she became a Finnegan.Now she couldn’t help wondering if he’d been her father.

“I don’t remember one, until… Until Mom married Finnegan.”Finnegan.Her father.She didn’t want to talk anymore.“Could I have more coffee?”

When Lex disappeared into the house, Jillian closed her eyes and tried not to think of the past, but this mess with her father brought back memories.Some good.Others ugly.