Page 11 of Icing the Cougar (Hockey USA Collection #7)

Jasper

I wait outside the rink, knowing something is off.

Fans trickle past, high fiving, punching shoulders, riding the energy I'm not feeling.

They look at me and wonder why the hell I'm here, not inside, celebrating.

It's because I can't shake how she looked tonight in her seat just past the glass.

Nova doesn't see me at first. She loops an arm through Trinity's, chatting, but Trin is gone. It’s the look on her face. She's gone.

I see her mouth move as she says, "I don't know," to something that her friend says.

Then she sees me and stops in her tracks. Her eyes widen and she says something to Nova that I can't hear. She doesn't look pissed. She looks undecided. Indecision is way worse.

"Trinity," I call out. She glances over like I might vanish if she just looks away. I don’t let her. "Trin!" I say again.

Nova tries to steer her around, but I move faster. "Hey," I say. "Come here."

Trinity looks at me, then at Nova.

"Come on," I say, like it’s going to fix everything.

Nova sighs. "I'll leave you guys to it," she says. I can tell she doesn’t think we’ll last the night. Hell, the hour.

"It's okay," Trinity tells her.

Nova looks from me to Trin. "You sure?" she says, but she’s staring at me.

"Yeah," I answer for her, and then for me.

I let my relief show as Nova disappears into the crowd. Trinity hesitates, then comes toward me with that cautious look. I wish I knew what was behind it.

"Trinity," I say and start walking towards the parking garage where my car is parked.

"Jasper," she says. Her voice is soft. I hate how it sounds so unsure. "I don't know..." She trails off, but she’s following me anyway.

It’s only a short distance through some back halls of the arena before we are on the second level of the garage.

"Get in," I say, nodding to my black BMW M4. She doesn't move.

I open the door. "Please."

Finally, she slips in. The door shuts with a thud. I keep looking at her, waiting for her to say something, anything.

I start driving. Her apartment is in the opposite direction of where I want to take her, but I know better than to push. Not tonight. I need to let her find her own way there.

The tension stretches out between us. She’s quiet. Too quiet. I wonder if she can tell what it’s doing to me.

The car hums along, and I look over and see her staring straight ahead, into a space that's not here with me.

"Trin?" I don’t know if I want to hear her answer.

She just shakes her head, a small, lost motion.

Her apartment building comes into view as I pull up to the building.

I kill the engine, and we both sit there. I don’t want to do this in a car, but she doesn't move to get out.

Trinity finally unbuckles her seatbelt. "I'm sorry," she says. "I'm sorry, I just... I need to—"

I cut her off. "No, you don’t." She gives me a look that I can’t read. It scares the hell out of me.

I get out of the car and go to her side before she can shut me out again. I hold the door open, waiting for her to stand.

Trinity steps out, and we walk in silence. She stops in front of her door. I have a choice. Go with her or let her have this space. I make the wrong ones all the time.

"Trinity," I say. "Don’t."

I reach out and touch her arm, and she doesn’t pull away. It’s more than I thought I’d get tonight.

We go inside, and I follow. I watch as she finally kicks off her shoes and sits down on the couch.

Her hands twist in her lap. I touch her shoulder, then sit next to her.

"I saw you," she says. I hear a tremor in her voice. I thought she was strong, unbreakable.

"Trin," I say again, because I don’t know what else to say.

"I know you're..." she pauses, "you're aggressive. I mean, I know that." Her cheeks flush, and I almost grin. She’s serious though. More than serious. I can see that.

"What is it, then?" I want to reach out and hold her, but she might shatter in my hands.

"I thought I could handle it. I thought I could handle you."

"You can." I say it with more force than I mean to.

Her eyes meet mine, and there’s something new in them. It scares me. More than that, it makes me want to hold her. "Maybe I don’t want to," she says, quieter now. "Maybe I don’t know how."

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to piece this together. "Was it the game?" I ask. I don’t know how much she saw.

"Seeing you out there, like that," she says. "It was..." She stops and breathes in deep. "I wasn’t ready."

"Ready for what?" I ask.

"For the way you are." Her eyes shine like she’s about to cry. "I was scared," she admits, and it kills me.

"Trin, you don’t have to be," I say. She leans in, and I catch her, gentle like she might break. "Not of me."

"Then of what?" she whispers.

I hold her and kiss the top of her head. "Not of me," I reassure her.

Her face presses into my chest. I don’t know how to do this.

I feel her lips on my neck, slow and soft, like she’s exploring new territory. She looks up at me with those hazel eyes, and I pull her close.

"Let’s," she says.

It’s one word, but it fills me with more than the rest of the night combined.

Trinity stands and takes my hand. I’m afraid of what she’s about to do, but we walk down the hall to the bedroom.

Trinity doesn’t turn the lights on. She just kisses me, slow and deep.

The softness is my undoing. I push her hair back from her face and breathe her in.

My suit jacket slips off, and it feels like everything is right there, open and exposed.

Her breath is hot against my skin. She bites my lip, teasing me, daring me to be gentle. I am. I didn’t know I could be.

I lift her, soft as I can, and sit her down on the bed. She doesn’t look away. I wonder if she can tell how lost I am, how much I want this. Want her.

We move slowly, and I find places on her body I didn’t know were there. I find places in me I didn’t know I could get to. Her dress floats to the floor.

I kiss down her stomach and taste the sweat pooling between her breasts. She moans and arches into me, trembling. My mouth moves lower, and I feel her trying to pull me closer. She’s not holding back.

She says my name like it’s new on her tongue.

I trail kisses up to her mouth as she pulls me under, and then we roll. Her legs wrap around my waist. I feel her heat, feel how wet she is for me.

"Jasper," she gasps, and I don’t want to stop.

I’m slow and careful, sliding into her. I watch her face for the breaking point, the place I can’t follow.

Trinity moans and moves with me, every inch, every beat of her heart.

We hold on, together and apart, bodies and nerves and wants. It’s more than I thought possible. It’s more than I’ve ever let it be.

I feel her tighten, and I know she’s close. I want to bring her there and hold her until she knows I won’t let her go. Until I know I can be there.

She clings to me, bucking and shaking. Her eyes flash and fill with light, the same light I had before the game.

She cries out, my name breaking apart as she finishes.

I don’t want to let go. I do. I can’t help it. I groan and bury myself inside her, everything I have, everything she thinks I am.

We stay like that, holding, breathing, touching. It’s enough. It’s everything.

Then she sighs, and I think I hear her say, "Stay."

I don’t ask if she means it.