Page 37
“That fucked up shit you’re thinking.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.”
“You’re thinking I want to keep you a secret because I’m embarrassed. ”
“Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Then why?” I asked, but then another thought occurred to me, and I answered my own question. “Because of my brother. And how he acted at the club.”
He tightened his arms around me. “Your brother doesn’t factor.”
“Since when?” I asked. “He’s been your best friend since you were twenty years old.”
“Since his decisions put you in harm’s way. Since he failed to protect you.”
“I don’t need anyone’s protection.”
Lukas gave me a sardonic look.
“Really!” I said, pushing up on one elbow. “I was figuring out how to get myself out of that mess. I was going to escape.”
Lukas continued to stare.
“Not that I wasn’t grateful you showed up when you did,” I added quickly.
Lukas grinned. “Maybe that’s enough talk for tonight.”
I flopped back down onto the mattress. “I’m not sleepy.”
“You should be. It’s been a big day.” He brushed the hair back at my temple and coiled a lock around his finger.
“It has. But I don’t want to waste a second. Like, what do we even do tomorrow?” I assumed the same question was on his own mind, and I hoped he had the answer.
“There’s nothing we can do,” he said. “You do your job. I’ll do mine. And we’ll meet here at the end of the day until we have no more days left.”
I turned into him and tucked the side of my hand into the crevice between his chiseled, rock-hard pecs. “You want me in your bed every night? ”
“Then you can give Dickwad his apartment back.”
“Dickwad?”
His eyes slid to the side. “I forgot his real name.”
I snorted, not believing that for a second. “It’s Daniel.”
“Right.” Lukas grinned. “I knew it started with a D.”
This time, I actually laughed. “I don’t think I want to be sleeping on the other side of the wall from him.”
“Why not? We can show him what he’s missing.” Lukas’s cock, which was amazingly still inside me, went rock hard again.
“Except,” I said, my muscles squeezing around him, “I don’t care about Daniel enough to show him anything.”
Lukas tightened his hold on me. “Good. I don’t want to think about him anymore either.”
“Because it’s the thinking that’s the most un-fun part,” I said, totally agreeing.
Lukas tipped his head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. You just reminded me of something you said when you were on my couch, sleeping off the beer. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and it hasn’t been fun.”
“What have you been thinking?” he asked.
My cheeks heated. “It’s just that… It’s not fun thinking about the other women.”
He blew out a breath of frustration. “Are you talking about the photo in the elevator again? I told you. Those women weren’t with me in that way.”
I gave my head a little shake. “I’m talking about future berserker females. Before you choose your forever mate.”
Lukas’s frustrated expression turned wary.
“Don’t get me wrong,” I said quickly. “I understand. Your legacy isn’t anything to sneeze at. You can’t turn your back on it. But it won’t be easy for me—even if I do, one day, end up a Hollywood publicist to the stars?— ”
He gave me a confused look. Maybe I’d never shared my ultimate career plans with him. Well, whatever. I carried on.
“—thinking about you after your father passes the baton and, as you so charmingly put it, whores you out.”
“What?” Lukas’s arms loosened around me, and he sounded genuinely shocked by my words, which was weird. They were his words, after all.
I felt his cock soften and slide out of me, while the contrast of his growing tension put me on high alert. “Those were your words, Lukas. Not mine.”
He put a hand on my shoulder and pushed himself away from me—not hard, but not soft either. “What exactly did I say?”
I tried to smile like it was no big deal. “You talked about being the next alpha.”
Lukas’s repulsed expression knotted my stomach and pulled it tight. “What’s the big deal?” I asked. “You already told me that part.”
“What else? ” he growled.
I wished I understood his reaction. Maybe if I did, I would have stopped there. Instead, like an idiot, I kept on talking. “You just told me the same thing but with more detail.”
“How much detail?” This time, his voice came out sounding strangled, and when I didn’t immediately answer, he rolled completely away, getting out of bed.
He kept his back to me, and he raked both hands into his hair.
I planted my fist in a pillow and pushed myself up. “Why are you so upset? It’s not like it’s a huge surprise.”
Upon those words, Lukas wheeled to face me. “You expected this future for me? ”
I scoffed. Berserkers, shifters, fae…they all found mates eventually. “I hardly expected you to be alone forever, Lukas. And who’d be more appropriate for the job? Did you think I hadn’t noticed how desirable you are?”
“What the fuck, Elliette?” He threw his arms out to his sides, claws extended, then swiped through the air. “Never mind. Of course you expected it.”
“Lukas?” I had no idea where this outburst was coming from.
“That’s what you’ve always thought about me, isn’t it?
” he asked. “Back when O’Rourke gave you this fucking job, you said you already knew the ‘real me,’ but you were going to try your best to make me ‘unrecognizable.’” He made air quotes as he said this, the word dripping with sarcasm.
“Class me up. Make me less of a piece of meat. Do I have that right?”
“Lukas, I don’t?—”
His angry gaze slid from my face to the twisted sheets, and he gestured at them angrily. “Was that what this was all about for you?”
“What?” I clutched the sheet over my chest, feeling suddenly vulnerable, not to mention a little scared.
“Oh, I see,” he said mockingly. “You’ve been throwing yourself at me since you were a kid, and you thought this was your last chance to get in on the goods before my father whored me out.”
I drew in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Things had spiraled way out of control, and I still didn’t understand why.
“I think there’s a nicer way to put it,” I said, because I doubted his future mate would appreciate the vulgar expression .
“Am I wrong?” he asked, and a muscle jumped in his jaw.
I bit my tongue because there was some needling truth to his accusation. I had felt like this was my one chance with Lukas before he left me forever. Had I used him? Taken advantage of him?
If so, he had reason to be mad, but it hadn’t felt like that to me. What we’d shared had gone way deeper than that.
“Am I wrong?!” he repeated, and this time it came out as a roar.
“Quit yelling at me!” I yelled back.
“Get out.” He shot his arm out stiffly, pointing toward the door.
I clutched the sheet at my chest. “No.”
“Get. Out!” he ordered, and there was an anger I’d never seen in his eyes before. I didn’t think he’d hurt me, but if his wolf was rising to the surface, I didn’t want to be anywhere nearby when it happened.
“Okay,” I said placatingly. “You’re obviously mad. Let’s just?—”
Lukas stormed out of the room. I heard a swish of fabric, and the bang of a metal buckle hitting the wall. Then he was back, his arms full of his discarded clothes and my panties.
He bent down, picked up my dress and bra, then threw my clothes at me.
I balked at the idea of getting out of bed naked, now that the intimacy was over, and we’d obviously slipped into some other unrecognizable parallel universe.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he said. “Be gone by the time I’m done.”
He stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving me alone. In his bed .
My skin felt hot, and my face was wet with tears I hadn’t noticed before.
I untangled myself from the sheets and raced to get dressed, then ran back to my apartment. I paced for a few minutes, wondering what to do.
Then I thought Lukas had the right idea.
I stripped down, pulled my hair up in a scrunchie, and jumped into the shower.
I turned the water up as hot as it would go and scrubbed away the pain and humiliation.
It was a familiar scene, and the memory of a younger version of me, crying in the shower after Lukas had humiliated me—that time in public—racked my heart.
My pity party continued as I toweled off and pulled on my comfiest pair of sweats. Then, realizing I didn’t want to be alone, I grabbed my phone and with a few quick swipes, I called Amy.
Thankfully, she picked up. “Hey, El. What’s up?”
I jumped at the sound of Lukas’s front door opening, then slamming shut. I listened for heavy footfalls in the hall and while I definitely heard them, they weren’t headed my way.
“Ames?” My voice shook.
“Oh my god,” she breathed. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry to call so late, but?—”
“It’s not that late,” she said. “It’s only seven o’clock.”
“What?” I checked the clock and saw that she was right. Weird. It felt so much later. “Oh, good.”
Out in the hallway, the elevator dinged. I guessed Lukas was going out.
“Elli?” Amy asked.
I’d gone silent for a little too long. I gathered myself. “Could we meet up somewhere? I need to talk to someone, but not on the phone, and I don’t want to be alone. Can you call the girls?”
“Sure, hon,” Amy said softly. “Should we meet at Charlie’s?”
Other than Connors’ Bakery, which we frequented on Saturday mornings, Charlie’s was our late-night coffee shop. It was ideally situated halfway between mine and Amy’s apartments.
“Perfect,” I said on an exhale. “I’ll be there in thirty.”
Table of Contents
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- Page 37 (Reading here)
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