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T he rest of the visit went by quickly with Eva keeping up a steady stream of conversation and Reece’s roommates coming and going. By the end of the day, I was mostly sure I had everyone’s names and connections straight.

Cole was dating Avery, their coach’s daughter, who was best friends with Marco—the tall sort of goth-y guy with the messy hair. He was dating Stephen—the tall, posh guy with perfect hair—who was best friends with Eva. Eva was with Gavin, who was their former captain. Only Cole, Avery, and Marco went to TU with us. The others had already graduated or had never gone here.

I told Reece I might need a flow chart to study. He laughed, but I was serious. Everyone was kind to me, which was a refreshing change from the rest of campus. I got to help give the ducks a bath, which was the second-best part of the day.

As the sun started to set, tension slowly tightened my body. I’d fooled around with Reece on the couch, and we’d moved on as if everything were normal. Just another day with my boyfriend.

But he wasn’t my boyfriend. We weren’t supposed to be fooling around. His words before Mase interrupted us hadn’t left me for a second. It occurs to me it’s not a repeat hookup if I’m helping you check things off your list.

I didn’t want a relationship any more than he did, but I wanted the sex. The admission came with its own set of hesitations, namely how could I trust myself to keep it casual. Was I capable of being in a relationship with casual sex? At least I knew he wouldn’t seek out other women while he was with me.

He needed the ruse of the relationship as much as I did.

What would happen when darkness fell? Would they expect me to stay the night? Would Reece make a move to finish what we’d started on the couch?

Would I?

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed everyone else leaving me, Reece, and Eva alone in the living room until Eva yawned and stretched out on the couch, putting her bare feet in my lap. I didn’t mind. I was curled up next to Reece with his arm around me, his fingers playing with my hair, and I loved the warm, fuzzy friendship of this group.

It reminded me of my sorority at Easton, and I’d missed the physical closeness since I’d moved to TU. Toby had never been much for touch unless we were having sex, and even then, once he’d gotten off, he rolled away to his own space. Did he do the same with all the other girls or was it just me? Was Reece faking right now? God, I hated how the insidious doubts crept up on me at the worst times.

Eva broke through my depressing thoughts by nudging my leg. “So what are we doing tonight? Karaoke at Johnny’s?”

Reece tugged my hair, his sign he planned to let me answer. Awesome. I relished having control in a relationship for once, but I was too nervous about the implications to make a choice.

“I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to head home soon.”

Eva reached down to pat my arm. “I didn’t mean to scare you off. I can be a homebody too. There’s a new season of Next Best Ninja I haven’t seen yet.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

She gasped. “Don’t let Cole or Avery hear you. They’ll force you to watch the first season, and you’ll be hooked.”

Henry gave a disgruntled quack from the nest of shirts she’d dragged from upstairs.

Eva rolled her eyes. “I know you love the show, but not everyone has time to catch up on all twelve seasons. Give her a little grace.”

Henry tucked her beak back under her feathers, but I got the distinct feeling the duck disagreed with Eva. Not a thought I ever expected to have.

“I appreciate the offer, but I really do need to get back. I have a ton of laundry to put away.”

Eva sent me a sly side-eye. “Or… you could stay here and make laundry future you’s problem. I’m leaving tomorrow morning, so I might not see you again for a while. I want to make sure Reece won’t scare you off.”

Reece glanced down at me with hooded eyes. “You could stay.”

There it was—the decision I’d been avoiding. Heat licked at my insides, urging me to accept the offer and see what other new experiences Reece could come up with. The strength of those urges convinced me I needed some time apart to make the right choice. Lord knew I didn’t have a great track record with guys.

At least I knew Reece would understand. Judging from the resignation in his stare, he already did.

I took advantage of the moment to kiss his jaw. “Thanks for the invite, but I need to head back. Today was fun.”

Eva frowned. “Someone dropped you off. How are you getting home?”

I held up my phone. “Calling an Uber.”

Reece shook his head. “I’m driving you. As a matter of fact, if you need a ride, call me first. I’m happy to chauffer you wherever you need to go.”

“I appreciate the offer, but you’re busy.”

“How did you get around before?”

“I mostly spent time with my sorority sisters, who I lived with, so if Toby wasn’t around one of them could give me a ride anywhere we were going. Since we moved here, Toby wasn’t as available. Now, I usually pay for a ride. I really don’t go that many places anyway.”

Reece dipped his head low to meet my eyes. “Call. Me.”

I nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Eva popped up from the couch. “Next subject, the hockey game next week. I have season tickets right by the TU bench. I’d love for you to use them with Avery and the others.”

My brows rose. “How many others?”

“It can be as many as five if Gavin and I are in town along with Stephen. That hasn’t happened much though because of Gavin’s schedule, and Stephen has mostly abandoned me for Marco at this point. It might be just Avery, but I promise there will be a seat for you.”

“You did agree…” Reece murmured.

I sent him an exasperated look. “I remember.”

My schedule was pretty open in the evenings, and despite Toby’s attempts to keep me away from his games, I liked hockey. Plus, I wanted to see Reece play.

“Thanks, I’d love to go.”

“Yes!” Eva hopped up to shimmy around the living room, shaking her booty, while Henry followed along quacking. Halfway back to me, she held up a finger. “Wait right there.”

We all watched her spin and sprint up the stairs. A series of thumps came from the direction she’d gone, then she reappeared, not even out of breath.

“Here,” she said, handing me a wad of red cloth.

I took the silky material and shook it out. A hockey jersey. With Tanner written across the back.

Reece laughed behind me. “Where were you keeping that?”

Eva lifted her chin with a smug smile. “The closet in the spare room. I’ve been waiting for this moment to come.”

I held the jersey up against my chest. It would be big on me, but I’d happily rep my new hockey boyfriend in the face of my old one. I wasn’t sure Toby would care—he hadn’t before—but seeing me in someone else’s jersey would probably have an effect.

Did I care if he was jealous? No, but like Reece, I wanted to make explicitly clear to Toby he had no right to me anymore. He’d relinquished any claim when he’d decided to lie and cheat. Maybe even before that.

What did it say that my fake relationship was a million times better than the real one I’d thought was end game?

I folded the shirt over my arm and approached Eva for a hug, one she returned tightly. “Thank you. I’ll wash it before I return it.”

Eva pulled back with a grin. “It’s a gift. You’ll need it for more than the game.” She winked, and I glared at Reece, who wasn’t even trying to hide his laughter.

“Thanks, Eva. We’ll make good use of it,” he wheezed out.

She waved him off and started for the door. “Since you’re leaving, I’m going to find Stephen and crash his date. He deserves it. Oh, smutty book club next Sunday morning. Nine a.m. I’ll text you the Zoom link.” She left before I could ask any questions or explain I didn’t do book clubs.

I turned wide eyes on Reece. “Is she always like that?”

“Always. You get used to it.”

Almost a week later, I sat in Eva’s special section next to Avery and Marco as the arena filled with people. I hadn’t been to a hockey game since high school, and I’d forgotten how cold the space could be. Eva had warned me to wear pants and a sweater when she texted me about the book choice for her smutty book club.

I didn’t ask how she’d gotten my number.

Even in Reece’s jersey, I shivered slightly as the guys filed out of a tunnel behind their bench and skated onto the ice. They’d warm up for a while before the game started, so I wondered if I had time to get nachos. Reece waved at me with a wink, and my heart gave a disturbing lurch. I waved back, suddenly feeling warmer, but I didn’t expect him to pay me any more attention. He should be focusing on the game.

I needed a diversion before I did something distracting. Next to me, Marco and Avery chatted about a newspaper thing, I assumed the one at TU, and I didn’t want to interrupt them. Instead, I pulled out my phone intending to mindlessly scroll social media. I made the mistake of clicking on the TU icon which opened the university’s private version of Instagram.

Right at the top, under the trending tab, was my name. My thumb hovered over the link, knowing nothing good would come of clicking on it. Amanda would expect me to close the app and hide, Toby would tell me I was overreacting… Reece would say fuck them all and tell me to do what I wanted.

I wanted to know what people were saying about me.

Before I could let reason convince me otherwise, I tapped my name. Post after post of people speculating on my relationship with Toby, my relationship with Reece, my mental health. Most of it leaned negative, but some of these people I didn’t know thought I was a badass for dating Reece.

While I tried not to care about other people’s opinions, I knew I was lying to myself. Invisible I could handle—I’d been doing it most of my life—but the vitriol coming from perfect strangers about my dating life was a lot to handle.

Was the notoriety worth it? We’d mostly succeeded in getting Amanda to stop harassing me, and after the lunch with my mom, the families had backed off a little. Judging by Toby’s locker room talk, he wasn’t immune to the situation either. I had no doubt most of the gossip on here was sourced straight from him.

At this point, I wished he’d just leave me alone and move on with his life, but I knew dating Reece was only going to keep his attention zeroed in on me. After scrolling for a minute, I’d had enough. I didn’t need to see the same message over and over again about how I’d lured Reece in to punish Toby.

They weren’t wrong.

As I dropped my phone in my lap, Marco asked if I wanted anything from concessions. I’d met Marco briefly at Reece’s house, but Avery was a new player—an intimidatingly beautiful woman with dark red lipstick and a confidence I envied. The only people I knew at this school were playing hockey or hated my guts. If I were more confident, I could pretend like I didn’t care.

“Nachos,” I told him, and Marco scooted past us, leaving Avery watching me speculatively.

I traced the edge of my phone case and watched Mase drop into an impressive split on the ice. This was my moment. I could sit quietly, cheer for Reece as promised, and leave the game without even trying to make a connection… or I could talk to her.

“What can you tell me about this book club?”

Avery laughed. “Eva started it over the summer as a way to connect because she claimed she was losing her edge. It’s usually me, Marco, Stephen, Eva, and her other friend, Mac. We only read romance novels, the smuttier, the better, and there’s an ongoing battle about the name.”

“Oh goodness, there’s more of you?”

Her gaze returned to Cole on the ice. “Do you not like big groups?”

I shifted in my seat, smoothing the jersey over my lap. “No, I’m fine in groups. I just haven’t had a lot of luck making friends lately, or keeping them.”

After the overwhelming day at Reece’s house and the subsequent cold shoulder at mine, I’d called up Shannon, one of my closest friends from Easton, but she’d sounded distracted while we talked and got off the phone quickly. The Chi Omega chapter at Easton was full of fantastic women—I missed them—but I’d left. A couple of them had even warned me not to uproot my life in order to follow Toby.

I should have listened.

Avery’s lips twisted. “Well, you’re on Eva’s radar now, so you won’t need to worry about making friends.”

“Should I be afraid of her?”

She threw her head back and laughed. “Yes. Eva is an unstoppable force who loves meddling in other people’s lives. She’s a goddamn miracle, and you should absolutely be terrified of the effect she’ll have on you. You’ll probably also thank her when the dust settles.”

I plucked at my top. “She gave me this jersey. Is it weird she had one with Reece’s name on it?”

Avery twisted in her seat to face me. “Forget Eva. Why are you here now?”

The bluntness made me blurt out an answer without thinking it through. “Reece wanted me to be here. I wanted to be here. And I figured it was time to stop living in an oblivious bubble.”

She gave me a satisfied nod. “And what are you hoping to get out of this thing with Reece?”

“Besides multiple orgasms?” I quipped, hoping to stop this line of questioning.

A half-smile tilted the corner of her lips, but she wagged her finger at me. “You’re no puck bunny.”

“Why do people keep informing me of that?” I muttered. “No, I’m not. I’m not even well-versed in hockey. I mean, I know the rules and I know what it’s like to date a hockey player, but I haven’t spent much time actually watching the game.”

She leaned back and crossed her arms. “You didn’t answer my question.”

I didn’t have an answer. What did I want? Freedom from Toby and his influence. Closer relationships with my sorority sisters. A chance to explore a life outside of what I was expecting. And yes, orgasms. All those answers had one thing in common.

“Reece. I want Reece. But I’m worried about immediately trading in one guy for another. I’ve only been single a few weeks out of the last five years. What do I even know about what I want?”

“The feminist in me says you should find out, but I have to give you the speech about hurting Reece. He seems like he’s impervious, but he’s got a squishy center. If you’re using him, you need to break it off.”

“Actually, he’s helping me. He suggested I make a bucket list, and we’ll go through it together.”

Avery leaned forward. “Yes. I love it. That’s right up Reece’s alley. I’m glad I don’t have to chase you away because you seem like a really nice girl.”

“I am nice.” I wasn’t sure why I said it, but it felt like I was trying to convince myself more than her.

She patted my shoulder. “Good. Reece needs a nice girl.”

I wasn’t so sure. Not about Reece’s needs or my status as such. Before I could voice my doubts, Marco returned with a giant plate of nachos and my stomach growled.

He grinned. “Don’t worry, I got enough for all of us.”

“You’re such a nice guy, Marco.” Avery sent me a sidelong glance. “Luckily for you, Reece isn’t into guys, or you’d be fighting Marco for his affections.”

Marco snorted. “There wouldn’t be a fight. I play dirty.”

She leaned closer to me and lowered her voice. “Maybe try adding ‘play dirty’ to your list.”

Little did she know, it was already on there. Several times. And we’d already checked off one of the items.

The lights dimmed, and the music got loud, basically stopping our conversation, for which I was grateful. I reached over for a handful of chips and queso, pushing away my uneasiness with the idea of using Reece without actually being in a relationship with him.

He’d asked me to be loud and obnoxious, so I fully planned to follow through and enjoy my first hockey game in far too long.