Page 24 of I Found You (Wilder #1)

Maeve

I usually loved walking into Millie’s Pizza.

It always smelled so good, like fresh baked bread and campfires.

It didn’t do anything to calm my nerves today though.

I was running a few minutes behind after debating about whether or not to even come, and as soon as I opened the door, I found Josie sitting at a table.

She was chatting with the people at the table over from her, laughing lightly at something the woman said.

She caught my eye, and I could tell she was nearly as hesitant to be here as I was. She excused herself from the other conversation as I made my way over to her table, turning her attention to me.

“Hi, honey. I’m so glad you came.” She looked like she was going to stand for a second, but I quickly pulled out my chair and sat. The last thing I wanted to do was give her a hug, like everything was perfectly fine.

“Don’t be too excited. I’m not sure how long I’m staying. I’m only here for Jackson’s sake. ”

“I understand that. I do. But I’m glad you’re here anyway.

How are you? How’s the baby? You’re a mom now?

I can’t even believe it.” Josie’s hands knotted and unknotted on the tabletop, and I had to physically stop myself from doing the exact same thing.

I didn’t want to have anything in common with her, not even the same fidgeting habits.

“She’s not my daughter. I’m fostering here while DCF finds her family or a more permanent home.”

“Wow. That’s amazing.” She was looking at me like I hung the moon.

“It’s not that amazing. I raised Jackson. I can take care of Jane too.”

Okay, Maeve. You agreed to come to this dinner. Play nice. It’s only an hour or so. I gave myself a quick pep talk, reining in my attitude. I had every right to hate Josie. But if I agreed to come to this dinner to get to know her a little, I had to at least give her a minute of my time.

“I wouldn’t doubt it for a moment.” The guy working the counter called a number, and Josie looked at her ticket. “That’s ours. I’ll be right back.”

She picked up two personal-sized pizzas and two iced teas from the counter.

“I got one cheese and one with sausage. I hope that’s alright.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. You didn’t have to get mine though.

I would have paid for my own.” It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate it, but I wanted her to know that I was doing fine on my own.

I had been for years. Sure, sometimes it was a struggle, especially when Jackson was shy on his rent or needed money for food, but I was making it work.

A few minutes passed while we both ate in silence. I wondered how Jane was doing and if Wyatt was able to get her to calm down. If anyone was going to do it, it would be Wyatt. He was a baby whisperer, at least where Jane was concerned.

“I went into a program,” Josie said, breaking the silence.

“Huh?”

“A rehab program. For drugs. I’m clean now.

I have been for ten months.” A tentative smile crossed her face.

“I got into some trouble about a year and a half ago, and instead of… well, they gave me the choice to go into a program, and I took it. I had a setback not long after I got out, but honestly, that relapse made me realize even more that I needed to stay sober. I needed to get my life on track.”

“That’s great.”

“It’s the longest I’ve been clean since Jackson was in diapers. He’s so grown now.”

Josie’s eyes started to well up. She’s missed pretty much his entire life.

“He is grown. He thinks he is anyway. I still think he has a bit more growing up to do, but…” I trailed off.

“I’d like to get to know him. And you, again.”

Me? I didn’t know if I had it in me to rebuild this relationship. But Jackson deserved a chance to get to know her, if he wanted to. On his terms, not hers.

“Jackson makes his own decisions. I won’t force him to spend time with you if he doesn’t want to,” I warned her.

“But I get the impression that your approval would go a long way. Listen, I know I don’t deserve it. I really do. But I have to try. You’re my children. I’ve missed so much, but if I don’t have to miss a moment longer, I would rather not.”

“And what happens when you leave again? How long are you even around for?”

“I’d like to make it permanent, Maeve. I want to stick around… for all of it.”

Permanently? I rubbed my face in my hands.

What I wouldn’t have given to have my mother at home, a normal family, twelve years ago.

Even ten years ago. But somewhere along the way, that fantasy faded.

Reality kicked in. What would that even look like?

Would we have family dinner around a dining table, laughing and talking, telling funny stories like the Wilders? It all felt so foreign.

“When I told Raquel that I was coming back here, she warned me that it would be a long road, but I told her that was fine with me. I wasn’t afraid of putting in the hard work.”

“Who’s Raquel?”

“She’s my sponsor. She can be a real bitch sometimes, but she’s the best person I know.

She’s been through a lot of the same things as me.

She gets how hard things can be when you aren’t numb all day, every day.

” Josie picked up her phone and swiped through some photos.

“This is Raquel. I wouldn’t be here without her. That woman is an angel.”

I was looking at the picture when a text came through. I could only see a little bit of the message in the notification bubble, but it was from Raquel.

“Oh, she just texted you now.” I handed Josie her phone back, but she didn’t take it, instead picking up the pizza that was sitting untouched during our conversation and taking a bite.

“Open it. What did she say?”

Raquel: Hope dinner’s going well. But even if it doesn’t, you are still worthy. Text me when you get out.

I read her the message, the previous messages catching my eye. I wasn’t trying to snoop, but it was right in front of my face. “You can read through them. I’m an open book. ”

I glanced up at her. Was she serious? I scrolled up just a little, just enough to see the most recent conversation. It was from earlier today.

Josie: I feel nervous. Is it normal to feel this nervous to talk to your own kid?

Raquel: When you left them to fend for themselves for the past twelve years, it is.

Josie: Helpful. Thank you.

Raquel: That’s who you were. Not who you are. You got this. And if it doesn’t turn out the way you’re hoping it will, you’ve got that too.

“I’m glad you have her for support,” I told her, putting her phone down next to her.

“Me too. So, tell me about you? What have you been up to… for the last twelve years?” Josie’s tentative laugh softened me a bit.

I gave her a quick rundown of raising Jackson, working my way through college, and becoming a teacher. Twelve years was a lot of history to try to get through in one dinner, but I provided the highlights, focusing more on Jackson than myself.

“And what about the foster situation? How did all of that come about?”

“Jane.” Just thinking about her brought a smile to my face.

“She was actually found abandoned in some brush. Department of Children and Families was brought in, obviously, and somehow, they reached out to me. They needed someone immediately, so they were looking through their database of preapproved houses, and because of taking over Jackson’s care, I was in their system.

It all happened so fast, but next thing I know, I have a little baby girl in my arms.”

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but that really is amazing, what you’re doing for her. You are so good, Maeve. You were born to be a mother. I don’t know where you get it from. Lord knows it’s not me.”

“Here, I’ll show you a picture.” I felt like a proud mama, digging for my phone so I could show off my baby girl.

My face dropped, and I felt the blood drain from my body. Wyatt had called. Over and over again. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

“Oh no. Oh…” My hands were shaking. I needed to call Wyatt back, but I couldn’t put in my PIN number. It took me four tries, but finally, I was able to unlock my phone and bring up his number.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Is Jane okay?”

“Jane’s sick. We’re at the hospital.” I didn’t hear anything else after that. Wyatt was still talking, but I was already out of my seat.

“I have to go,” I told Josie, panic rising in my chest. “I have to go.”

“Go. Take care of whatever you need to.” Concern was etched on Josie’s face.

I ran out the door as fast as I could.

“Wyatt? Wyatt, are you still there?”

“I’m here. Maeve, I’m so sorry.”

“Where are you?”

“We just got to the hospital. They’re bringing her to the pediatric emergency room.”

“I’m on my way.”

I had to be buzzed into the pediatric emergency room, and as soon as I heard the doors unlock, I flung them open.

Wyatt was standing in front of a room, his face a reflection of the fear and shock that I felt.

I ran to him, flinging my arms around his neck, holding on to him like he was my lifeline.

“Where is she? What happened?”

“I’m so sorry, Maeve,” he repeated. Wyatt led me into the room directly in front of us.

Jane lay in a bassinet, tubes and wires connected to her small frame.

“She wouldn’t stop crying, and she was getting a fever, so I thought I would give her a bath.

That’s when I saw the rash, and her skin was freakishly pale.

When I couldn’t get in touch with you, I called Luke.

He called Scarlett, and the next thing I knew, there were EMTs taking Jane to the hospital. ”

“Thank you, Wyatt. Thank goodness you were there. Thank you so much,” I said through small sobs as I tried to keep some composure.

“Two fucking hours. I couldn’t keep her safe for two fucking hours,” Wyatt grumbled, his face in his hands.

“Hey, don’t do that. You did great. I never should have left. I knew Jane wasn’t feeling well.”

“You couldn’t have known that she was going to take a turn so quickly.” Wyatt wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.

I tried to take a breath, but my lungs felt like an accordion.

Tears streamed from my eyes like they were full-fledged faucets.

“I need to call Kara,” I said, pulling out my phone.

I opened my messages app and closed it. That wasn’t what I wanted to do.

Emails. No. Messages again. “Oh, my goodness, I can’t even think.

My head is spinning. Where is my phone?”

“Hey, hey. Just sit. I’ll let Kara know what’s happening,” Wyatt said, gently taking my phone from me. A few seconds later, Wyatt was leaving a message for Kara, quickly filling her in on the situation .

Jane looked so small and fragile as I sat in the chair next to her and held her hand. Wyatt stood next to us, neither of us talking.

I should have been there. Wyatt must have been completely freaking out, and I wasn’t around.

I was never leaving my phone on silent again.

Who was I kidding—I was never leaving the house without Jane again.

I tried to tell Wyatt how grateful I was that he was there and able to get her the right care, but he just pinched his lips in a tight smile, not saying anything.

A nurse came into the room to take Jane’s vitals and discuss the current treatment plan with me. Sometime while we were talking, Wyatt disappeared.