Page 47 of I Despise You

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s lying,” Chase says. “He’s a fucking liar.”

“Your father?”

He nods.

I place my hand on his arm, rubbing gently.

“He would’ve never taken me in if he’d had a choice,” Chase says. “But my mom killed herself just as I was supposed to start high school, and I had no other family except for him. First he sent me off to school so he wouldn’t have to deal with me, and he forgot all about me. Until I became the best student and he realized he could use that to his advantage. Now he’s pretending he’s doing everything for me, like some super dad or something.”

“I’m sorry.” I have a feeling the woman in the photo I found in his drawer is his mother.

“Don’t be,” he says. “I just miss my mom so much.”

“I know the feeling. My dad died when I was young. I still miss him every day.” The corners of my eyes get teary a little.

“At least you still have your mom who actually cares about you.”

“I do.” I lean closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder.

“I can’t wait to finish school. I want to go to college and leave all this mess behind. I don’t care if my father has other plans for me. His image is the only thing that matters to him anyway.”

We just stand there like that for a while.

“Chase!” His father’s voice cuts through the silence a moment before he appears in the doorway. “Come inside. I’m sure your beautiful friend would like to dance.”

I want to say that’s not how I feel, but Chase’s father leaves before I can do it.

“I’d like to dance with you.” Chase smiles as he takes my hand.

Dancing it is, then. We go back inside. The dance floor is already filled with couples, and Chase and I find some space for ourselves.

My lips part as Chase snakes his arms around me, and I stare into his eyes as I wrap my arms around his neck.

Being in his arms feels nice and warm, and safe.

I know it shouldn’t.

But I can’t change how I feel.

I’m beyond messed up, I guess.

Now more than ever, I hope that Chase didn’t kill Kayla, and that what’s going on between us isn’t fake. I don’t know why I even want any of that. It’s not like there can be anything between Chase and me.

Why not?

It looks like we’re not from two completely different worlds, if Chase used to live with his mom. Maybe he wasn’t always rich. Maybe it’s all new to him too. Or he hates it.

But I can’t forget what he did to me. Any of it.

I can’t lower my guard around him so much, even if I want to.

Chase’s lips shift closer to mine as he tilts his head, and I don’t turn my head away when he presses his mouth against mine. His kiss becomes hungrier, deeper, and I forget we’re not alone in the room.

Someone clears their throat, but Chase keeps kissing me, and when we finally break apart, his lips are red from my lipstick, and he’s smiling. It’s such a beautiful smile that it makes him even hotter, and it feels so real.

I press myself close to him again, wondering if maybe I should just talk to him and clear my doubts.