Page 113 of Hurt

The silence grew between them. All the words they couldn’t speak aloud lived in the space between them. All the regret, pain, sadness, anger, lies, and hate lined the chasm between them and formed a tenuous bridge. For the first time in ten years, they were looking at each other across the expanse, close enough to finally touch.

“If I get up, will you run away?”

“Probably.”

“Fine. You give me no choice.” Tossing her head back, Willow began hacking up a wad of spit. Bubbles of moisture beaded along her lips as she threatened to let the glob fall onto Kurt’s face.

“No, no, no. Willow. Stop!” Kurt protested, twisting under her until his ribs screamed in protest.

“You think I forgot all the times you did this to me? My vengeance has finally come.”

Kurt eventually knocked Willow off, both lapsing into a fit of laughter. Laying side by side on the floor, they stared up at the sloping ceiling.

“I thought,” Kurt began after their laughter stopped. He didn’t want to open himself up, but if anyone deserved the truth, Willow did. “If I could take it, if I could just take the pain, it would be fine. It hurt to send Noah away, but it was better than having him see me like that or having him used against me.”

Willow’s fingers tapped against the floor, a small sign of her anxiety. “I never understood why you suddenly just…acted like you didn’t want him around.”

“I know,” Kurt admitted with a protracted sigh. “You were supposed to leave, to flourish in the spotlight, and I would just be a voice on the phone. Knowing you were both safe was all I wanted. I could live with that.”

His sister rolled over and looked at him. “I never would have left you behind.”

“I noticed. Kind of put a kink in my plans,” Kurt said grimly.

“Why didn’t you run when I asked?”

Kurt didn’t know how to answer. How could he when he didn’t really know the answer himself?

“Right after I tried to kill myself the first time, he found me in the hospital. Told me if I ever tried again, he would take it out on you.” The smell of the hospital’s disinfectant was still strong in his nose. He remembered the way Ezra leaned over the railings on the hospital bed and bared his fangs.

“Jesus,” Willow said. “I didn’t know. I thought…”

“He paid the bill, too. Like I needed to be reminded of how much money and power he had.”

Willow scrambled over to Kurt and dragged him into a hug. “I know you hate this, but I don’t care,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

Kurt was frozen. No one had touched him like this in years. Every touch against his skin reminded him of dark nights full of pain andhisleering voice. Blades and fingers nails leaving trails of blood across his skin. Skin-to-skin contact only brought him agony and disgust. To the point where he avoided all forms of it because he was so afraid the good and the bad would intermingle, and he would never be able to tell the difference.

But Willow’s arms around him felt like support. Two wiry pillars of love and light that drew him out of the darkness and held his fragile pieces together. The soft breaths against his skin were breathing fresh life into him, and he dropped his head against his sister and inhaled.

He wasn’t scared. His skin didn’t crawl, and his heart slowed down in contentment.

There was a part of Kurt that still remembered. A part of him that he had managed to protect, a part that never felt Ezra’s cruelty.

Maybe he wasn’t totally broken, after all.

20

WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF, ARE YOU A MAN OR A MONSTER?

Shadows drifted across the ground like wraiths. The darkness was hardly impenetrable—a bright moon illuminated the sleepy neighborhood in monochromatic colors. Periodically placed streetlamps cast a halo of warm glow along the asphalt and manicured lawns. Despite the late hour, some people were still awake. The flickering glow from televisions danced in the double pane windows, creating shadow puppets against gauzy linen curtains.

Two sets of boots soundlessly moved over the dewy grass. Elijah leaned up against the house. Rough bricks clung to the fabric of his clothes. He ignored the unpleasant sensation. Looking over his shoulder, he locked eyes with Jamie. The man gestured to a ceramic garden gnome resting just a few feet from them and made a weird gagging face.

Elijah gestured for him to pay attention.

Jamie rolled his eyes and nodded to his partner. Lifting his wrist, Elijah checked his watch and took a deep breath. Thirty seconds.

He palmed the cool metal canister in his hand and rubbed a thumb against it. Who would have thought so much power could come in such a small container? About the size of a soda can, the pin dangled temptingly by his fingers. Jamie eyed it beside him, the whites of his eyes glowing in excitement as he was fixated on the tempting little ring attached to the pin.