Page 94 of Hungry As Her Python

He just stepped closer to me, brushed his hand against mine, and murmured, “Don’t worry, Sugar. They’re all hiss and no claws.”

Except judging by the murderous glare the she-cat gave me, I wasn’t so sure.

“Evie, you saw the footage,” Donny said.

“I was puking my head off at the time, Donny. Forgive me for missing out,” she mumbled.

“You okay, Darlin’?” Jaxson asked, holstering his gun before gathering her close.

“Yeah, I just can’t shake this stomach bug,” she told him.

“Actually, Evie?—”

“Not the time,” I interrupted.

“Okay, you three, spill. What is your beef with Castor’s Corner? And me, what is your beef with me?”

The three angry felines hissed and spit for two whole minutes before I zapped them with an extra-large dose of hardtack.

The stuff filled the interior of the cage, giving the little fuckers barely any room to move or breathe.

“Ouch! Okay, okay, we’ll talk!” the female shouted.

“We are here to represent the Etherworld Feline Familiar Union, EFFU for short.”

“Why are you saying FU, shouldn’t it be E F F U?” Donny asked.

“What she talking about?” Razor Paws mumbled to Two Fangs.

“Witches aren’t known for their smarts,” he told his fellow feline, and I added a little more hardtack to the cage.

“Ouch! Stop. Please!”

I’d caught the male cats’ names, but the female’s name, I did not know. And I didn’t care.

“Leave them to us,” Petyr snarled. “We will take care of these vile felines! You who vowed to protect Witches and have been harming them shall pay for your misdeeds!”

“Actually,” I told him. “You don’t have to do that, Petyr. We’ve contacted La Befana, herself, and these three are going to get exactly what they deserve.”

“La Befana? Noooooo!” they howled.

Just then, an enormous BOOM sounded.

The shuffling of little paws had me, Donny, Evie, our boys, and the three Domovyks turning around to welcome our new arrivals.

“Alright, where’s the funky felines at?” a large Maine coon with a brindle coat and a collar that read Marcus Aurelius Felinibus asked.

“That’s them alright. Dang EFFU reps causing a fussssss,” Esteban Notail added.

“We gots it from here, youz fine Trifecta badasses,” Fluffy Iglesias said.

“Thank you. I was hoping to hear why they did this.”

“We’ll never tell you treachoroussss Witchessss,” the female mumbled. It was hard to hear since she and her two companions were smashed against the bars from all the hardtack piled inside the cage.

“Dats easy,” Fluffy Iglesias continued.

“EFFU is a non-authorized organization of feline familiars wanting to control what kinds of familiars go to Witches. They’s what you call fanatsics and shit. They’s don’t respect the supernatural order, and now, we got the three worst bandits thanks to you’s three smokin’ hot females.”