Page 30 of Howling Love (Hunter’s Moon Ritual #1)

Gracie

“It’s beautiful,” I said in awe, my fingers grazing over the journal in my lap. Although to call it a journal felt inadequate. It was a piece of art.

The leather was a warm earth tone, decorated in stitches of sunset colors. Crimson, gold, and daffodil yellow were woven into whorls that reminded me of flowers in bloom, decorating the entire surface of the front, back, and spine.

A leather ribbon with my name on it was wrapped around the center of the journal, keeping the unlined, blank pieces of paper contained and safe.

My first gift in over a decade.

Ravik didn’t realize how much this meant to me. I hadn’t been able to read, and certainly not write, in years.

The blank pages felt like a siren song, begging me to fill them in. To record the past, but also my new future, teeming with possibility.

“I’m glad you like it,” Ravik rumbled. “I know you mentioned you don’t write, but…”

“I would like to start trying,” I said, squeezing his hand which rested on my leg. The garden bench we sat on was shaded by a massive pine, the privacy of the space making me feel completely at peace.

“When I was younger, I used to have a little journal. I don’t even remember what I would write,” I mused, my fingers running over the leather once more.

“My mom loved hunting, so my brother would often join her, and when he came back, he would always have the wildest stories. I’m positive half of them were made up… but I wrote them down.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Ravik said, surprised.

“Owen,” I confirmed. “He escaped during the raids. Or if he didn’t, he was killed. I never saw him after that night, and I never risked asking about him. I’ve been thankful to have the ability to even entertain the possibility that he escaped.”

Ravik’s fingers came under my chin. “Do you want to find him?”

My eyes widened. I’d always told myself I would find him, but I hadn’t ever believed it would actually happen. “That would be… Yes,” I breathed out, unable to find a word to describe how it’d feel to have him back. “But I don’t know how.”

“We would start with a sweep and inquiry of the surrounding territories. I would just need as much info as possible on him. With a few calls to the other Alphas, I’m sure we can manage to locate him.

” He made it sound so simple, so matter-of-fact, as if he didn’t realize that this was a second gift he’d be giving me.

I’d lost both of my parents, and with Owen’s disappearance, my entire family. The idea of being able to find him?

I nodded adamantly, unable to find the words to express how much his offer meant.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Ravik promised before offering me a hand, his warm, rough palm soothing against my own. “Now come on, lux mea , I want to show you around the garden.” I offered him a thankful look as he tucked my journal into his coat.

“I didn’t realize the garden was so large. It looked smaller from up there,” I said once I’d managed to find my voice.

I’d first noticed the perfectly landscaped garden that led to a forested area during lunch.

I found myself doing that often—just looking at the natural beauty of their territory—still not quite believing it was real.

When I’d mentioned it, Malara and Deegan immediately suggested we go check it out at some point.

Ravik had apparently decided—once Basir and Thornar mentioned having to go handle something—that ‘some point’ meant now.

I was excited to see the garden up close, but I was curious about what Basir and Thornar had to ‘handle’.

“It’s grown over time. My parents wanted a space for us to play as kids and an area of the forest that was protected. It made shifting a lot easier when we were younger. Because of my father’s position, we had to be mindful of where and when we shifted.”

“Because he’s the Alpha?”

He nodded, his lips tugging into a smile. “Although that didn’t always stop me. Thornar was worse, though, especially if he got angry.”

It was hard to imagine the sunny man angry, even though I’d seen it once myself.

“I haven’t shifted in over a decade.” My words were meant to come off as light, more commentary than anything, but I knew they didn’t as Ravik’s steps came to a complete stop. The intense, controlled man turned his gaze on me, the gold burning like fire.

“Say that again.”

I was suddenly uncomfortable, feeling like I’d said something I shouldn’t. Something wrong. I bit down on my lip before admitting, “I haven’t shifted since the raid—since I was eleven.”

Ravik’s stood perfectly still for a long moment, my hands tightening at my side. I knew, logically, that I wasn’t in trouble, but I could feel that he was furious. It was at Ivan, I think, but it still made my heart beat rapidly.

“Give me a minute, lux mea ,” he rumbled, tugging me forward into his embrace. Despite his palpable anger, I was able to breathe out in relief the moment I was surrounded by his scent.

A long moment passed before he asked, “How is that even possible? A decade is a very long time, Gracie.”

“It wasn’t just me,” I said softly. “Anything that connected us to our wolves was ripped away by Ivan. He didn’t want anyone believing they had power or dominance.

At all. Some people even claimed they stopped hearing their wolves after a few years.

Mine…mine never went away, but she was silenced. At least until I met the three of you.”

“Ivan Rivers can’t be allowed to continue.” Ravik delivered the words calmly, but they held a deep promise of violence.

“I know,” I whispered, before trying to shift away from his anger. “I would like to try. I just don’t even remember how.”

Ravik pulled back, determination glinting in his gaze. “Come on, Gracie. We’re going to try shifting.”

I should have expected that. My throat tightened with nervousness and anxiety as he led me toward the edge of the forest that lined the mountain range. I could feel my wolf pacing eagerly, fascinated by the turn of events, but as I looked up at Ravik, it was clear he could see my trepidation.

“Just try. No pressure. We have all the time in the world.”

Reassured and feeling safe in his presence, I looked at the lush forest in front of me. Shaking my hands out, I closed my eyes and tried to feel out my own body.

When you went so long just trying to survive, you lost grounding. When you went a decade being viewed as property, you lost the ability to feel ownership of your own body. I craved freedom, but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to take it.

I’d seen Ivan’s men shift many times over the years, and something about it had always struck me as wrong.

Grotesque. Their skin would burst and bones crack.

Before them, I had never seen anyone shift in such a violent and painful way.

It was like their wolves were fighting against them, not wanting to succumb to their will.

Visions of my parents and brother shifting played through my head as I tried to remember the sensation of shifting myself.

A warm glow in the center of my chest and the feeling of grass under my paws.

That was the strongest memory. I used to watch in awe as my mom would shift in a glow of light that wrapped around her before she appeared as a crimson wolf—beautiful but fierce.

Then moments later she would shift back, her sunflower sundress absent of even a wrinkle.

That was a nifty tool of nature. Apparently, because body and clothing existed in the same ‘phase’ of being, when our wolves came out, it took both and would return both upon shifting back. I was glad for it because if not, there would be a lot of naked shifters everywhere.

My cheeks heated thinking about Ravik naked…

“Focus, lux mea .” His deep rumble had me wondering if he may have felt where my thoughts had gone…which was more than a bit embarrassing.

I tried to recenter myself and focus. Of course it wasn’t that easy, but the more I tried to encourage and coax my wolf out, the more I received small snippets of memories of what it was like to shift.

It still wouldn’t convince her to come out, though, even when I was brought to the point of pleading with her.

We can shift. No one will hurt us.

I knew that, and she knew that, but it didn’t stop the panic from forming. My throat felt tight, my body acting in accordance with years of learned fear. Ivan wasn’t here though. I was with Ravik, and we were safe. I just had to get my wolf on the same page.

Considering how cautious she was being, looking around for other wolves, I worried this would be a lost cause.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at Ravik, an idea forming. “Can you…can you shift? I don’t think she’s going to come out unless you also shift.”

I knew it was a lot to ask, yet Ravik moved back without question, a heated look in his gaze I didn’t fully understand. Then in a flash—a literal bolt of lightning—he shifted into…

"You’re huge!" I squeaked, my hand coming to my mouth.

When I thought back to the drug-clouded memories from the ritual, it was clear that Thornar and Basir had been gigantic as well, but since I’d been in Ravik’s arms…I just hadn’t realized.

Ravik moved closer, and I instinctively reached out to touch his chocolate fur as his nose brushed over my cheek. He was that big. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to sink into the comfort of knowing he was right there.

My wolf was thrilled .

In fact, I’d never seen her so happy. She was sprinting through my subconscious at top speed, almost slamming into the walls of my mind. A smile tugged at my lips and I fell back, like falling into a pool of water. That was all it took for her to rush forward to greet Ravik.

Heat broke through my chest and the world exploded into an array of heightened senses.

I could hear the pulse of small creatures in the forest. I could smell decay on a fallen tree to the west of me.

I could taste winter in the air, carried by Sylvaern herself.

I could feel mud underneath my paws, the earth wet from a recent rain. But more than anything?

When I opened my eyes, I could see Ravik.

Truly see him, the intense power that radiated off of him and the way our bond danced with light and energy.

A warm rustic brown that seemed to shimmer with gold.

The other two were there as well—Basir’s an onyx shade with clouds of silver smoke hanging around it, and Thornar’s a pure snow white that had bursts of copper like lightning bolts.

It was mesmerizing, and a soft almost purr left my throat as I moved closer to Ravik.

My gaze caught my paw as I came to a stop. Black fur. That was…odd. I’d always shifted into a crimson wolf like my mom. Why had that changed?

My wolf refused to consider it, though. All she wanted was to get as close to our mate as possible. I wasn’t exactly in enough control to fight her, and the closer we got to Ravik, the less we wanted to ask questions and just be .

My nose trailed under his throat as he dipped his head, keeping me there protectively. A hum of magic rolled over both of us, and for just a moment—a fragment of time—everything felt perfect. This was my most natural state. This type of freedom was how I should always exist.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, I was violently pulled into darkness.

But instead of pain, I was met with nothing as I hit a hard surface. I gasped in pain, clutching a hand to my chest. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst from my ribs, and a whimper slipped from my lips.

"Gracie Holloway."

That voice. Feminine, but layered with an ancient power that laid thick on my tongue. Chills rolled across my skin as I looked around for her —because I knew whose doing this was. I could feel her magic saturating the space as beams of moonlight danced in the distance.

It felt like I was staring down a long hallway into nothingness.

“Hello?” Any bravery I’d had while shifted retreated, fear winding tight in my chest.

“You freed me from my chains, but I am still held prisoner.”

Her words hung heavy in the air as confusion clouded my mind, thickening like smoke. She told the truth, but it felt like her own magic was actively fighting against that declaration.

“I don’t know how I freed you. I’m not sure?—”

“He will use my moon to bring forth the gods in wait.” Her voice fractured—infused with panic—static ringing in my ears. “He will bring forth those that wish to harm. You must?—”

I was ripped away.

A kiss brought me back into reality, the demanding, hard nature of it causing me to melt as my fingers gripped onto Ravik’s huge shoulders. I whimpered under the primal wave it drew from within, my wolf still so close to the surface.

My nails bit into his skin, trying to bring him closer— needing him to be closer. I felt like I was losing myself between fear of the unknown and overwhelming desire for Ravik.

Ripping myself away, my breathing rough and uneven, I stared up into his gorgeous golden gaze. I felt stunned, absolutely hypnotized by the man…

“What happened?” he demanded, his gaze manic.

I felt like I couldn’t talk, couldn’t even see, as reality began to filter back in. She’d been trying to tell me something…I just didn’t understand what.

“Gracie, talk to me.” His voice was a rough demand.

"I just met Nyxarra."