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B efore Mr. Darcy could do more than step towards the ballroom with Elizabeth, a gust of foul wind entered Netherfield. Elizabeth snapped her mouth closed as she took in the sight of the unpleasantness. How had Mr. Collins arrived so soon? The carriage had only just left Netherfield!

“Mr. Collins!” Elizabeth’s mother cried. “Your boots will make a horrible mess of the floors."

She was not wrong. Though his boots did look as if they had been somewhat cleaned before entering, they still carried a fair bit of mud.

"Have you been prancing through the puddles?” she added.

A scene was about to be made. Elizabeth knew it to her very core.

“I do not prance, madame.” Mr. Collins motioned to a footman.

“I require a chair be brought hither and some help in removing these boots. I have my clean shoes here.” He lifted a small bag as he returned to the conversation with Mrs. Bennet.

“I thought it a terrible waste of time and energy for the carriage to travel to Longbourn to get me.” He continued to talk as a chair was moved nearer the door.

“So I took it upon myself to walk. I am not unused to the exercise. I am actually quite good at it. Lady Catherine often comments on how quickly I can traverse the distance from the parsonage to Rosings.”

He sat down, stuck both feet straight out in front of him, and motioned to the footman to remove his boots.

“Rest assured, Mr. Bingley, I shall still be able to dance every set. I may not appear to be so, but I am very fond of activity. One must balance one’s time spent in studying with other pursuits, you see. I do love to garden.”

Here he looked toward the door as one foot was freed from a boot and the footman moved to attend to the other.

“I would venture to guess, Mr. Bingley, that your garden is spectacular when in bloom. All good gardens of fine houses are. I have heard tell of Mr. Darcy’s fine garden at Pemberley.

Miss de Bourgh showed me a sketch of it.

I think she had hoped it would be hers.” He sighed.

“But… hopes and dreams…” Again, he sighed, and this time added a shake of his head to illustrate his clear disappointment.

Once the second boot was removed, he wiggled his toes before lowering his legs and slipping his feet into his shoes.

Elizabeth felt Darcy’s arm tense under her fingers as Mr. Wickham and three other officers entered.

“Dashed wishes are terribly hard to bear with any sort of equanimity,” Mr. Collins said as he stood and adjusted his clothing while the footman hurried away with his boots and coat.

“You must indeed be a parson, for you most certainly speak the truth.” Mr. Wickham looked directly at Mr. Darcy as he said it. Though he wore a smile, there was no mistaking the challenging look in his eyes.

“We should likely take that turn of the rooms,” Elizabeth said.

There was nothing further that she needed to witness here – no matter what her curiosity said.

It was much more imperative that Mr. Darcy be extracted from this scene than her curiosity be assuaged.

“Perhaps we should start with the drawing room.” It might be best to warn the Colonel and Miss Darcy that Mr. Wickham had indeed arrived.

“Yes, that might be best,” Mr. Darcy murmured as he turned toward the drawing room.

“I have had my own hopes crushed, you know,” Elizabeth could hear Mr. Wickham saying.

His friends laughed. “It has mostly been of your own doing,” one of them said.

“He would not mention your sister, would he?” Elizabeth whispered.

“Not if he knows what is best for his longevity,” Darcy muttered. “However, he will make sure he places jibes when and where he is given opportunity to do so. Only those who are privy to the details of the things to which he is alluding will understand his full meaning.”

“I had thought I might be a parson at one point.” This was said in a rather loud voice by Mr. Wickham.

“Oh, indeed! How delightful,” Mr. Collins said. “We positively must have a discussion about the profession. I find I am in want of someone with whom to converse about the holier things in life. Perhaps during one of the dances over a friendly game of cards – no wagers, of course. I do not gamble.”

Mr. Darcy chuckled. “I believe that Mr. Wickham will be repenting for that comment soon enough,” he said in a hushed tone.

Elizabeth had to smile at the thought of Mr. Collins droning on and on about his profession to a gentleman who only missed the money that a living as a clergyman would afford him. “Perhaps,” she whispered, “we could lock them in a room together if things become dire?”

Mr. Darcy’s chuckle grew louder.

“First, he was eager for the evening to begin, and now, he is laughing and enjoying himself at a ball.” Colonel Fitzwilliam slapped a hand against his chest as if overcome with surprise. “What has become of your brother, Georgie?”

Miss Darcy giggled. “He has fallen in love,” she replied in a whisper, causing Elizabeth’s cheeks to warm.

“I suppose there is no hope for him, then.” The smile the colonel wore spoke to how happy he was that his cousin was in love.

“I am quite surprised he has a hope of securing my sister,” Lydia inserted. “She did not even like him until recently.”

“So I have heard,” the colonel said. “I fear my cousin is more charming than I have ever given him credit for being.”

“Actually, he is not,” Mr. Darcy said. “It was Mr. Bingley who rescued me from myself. If I had been left to my own devices, I would currently be a grouchy old fool, holed away in his study in London, having lost my dearest friend and the lady I love.”

What he said did not appear to be shocking to anyone in their group.

Elizabeth knew all about how Mr. Darcy had tried to dissuade Mr. Bingley from forming an attachment with Jane, and it seemed that, at least, a portion of the story about how things had resolved themselves during her stay at Netherfield, when Jane was ill, had been shared with everyone else in the group.

He motioned to an empty settee in the conversational grouping of chairs. “Shall we sit for a while?”

“I would like that.” Elizabeth took her place on the piece of furniture, and then, Mr. Darcy sat down next to her.

“Mr. Wickham has arrived.”

“And you are still smiling?” Colonel Fitzwilliam looked from Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth. “You are a greater magician than I had thought. How did you do it?”

“Do what?” Elizabeth asked.

“You said something, and he laughed when you entered the room.” The colonel’s brow was furrowed. “But you must have just seen Wickham before that.” He shook his head. “The two do not go together.” He blew out a breath.

“It is because he has the lady he loves on his arm,” Lydia answered before anyone else could.

“Perhaps we can find one for you, so that you will not need to deepen that wrinkle between your eyes. A little crease looks distinguished and thoughtful, but if it is too deep, everyone will think you are a gentleman who paces his study over the smallest of concerns.”

Mr. Darcy chuckled once again. “Yes, Richard, perhaps we could find you a lady.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam scowled. “I do not need a wife. I have a profession.”

“Yes, and no man has ever had both a profession and a wife,” Mr. Darcy retorted.

“That is not what I mean,” the colonel grumbled.

Elizabeth sighed. They had left one tenuous situation in the entry hall only to enter another. If things continued as they were, tonight was going to be a most trying soiree.

“To answer your question, Colonel. I merely suggested that we lock Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins in a room together if things became too difficult, and it instantly lifted Mr. Darcy’s mood.”

Mary gasped and covered her mouth to hide her laughter.

“Oh, may we?” Lydia cried. “I can watch for Mr. Collins from the window.” She moved to rise.

“No, we may not,” Elizabeth answered. “And there is no need to watch for Mr. Collins, for he has only just arrived – mere moments before Mr. Wickham.”

“Already?” Mary asked in shock. “How?”

“Apparently, he walked.” Elizabeth leaned forward. “And did not take care to avoid the puddles, for his boots were in rather poor condition upon arrival. In fact, he had just had them removed so that he could put on his shoes when Mr. Wickham and his friends entered.”

She glanced at Mr. Darcy and then turned her eyes toward the colonel. “Twice, during the short time when we were in the entry way with Mr. Wickham, he managed to say something designed to provoke your cousin. Thankfully, Mr. Collins only said one provocative thing.”

There truly was no way this ball was going to pass without a bit of trouble.

She could feel it. It was as destined to happen as the sun was to rise in the morning.

Perhaps the idea of locking Mr. Collins in a room with Mr. Wickham was not a bad one.

If only it would not draw too much attention to two men who seemed to crave everyone’s eyes and ears being turned their direction, it might be worth serious consideration.

“We must ignore them,” she suggested. “Both of them. As much as we are able. If neither has an audience, then, they will be deprived of that which they most wish to have.”

“That is not a thought without merit, but I am not sure it will bring the desired outcome.” The colonel drummed his fingers on his knees as his right foot tapped softly.

“Wickham will do what he must to gain attention. He always has since he was a boy. We will just have to endure the evening as best we can.”

“I would rather avoid both of them,” Mary said.

The colonel chuckled. “That would be ideal. Not possible, but ideal.”

One of Mary’s eyebrows arched. “You think it is impossible?”

“Without a doubt,” the colonel assured her.

Mary shrugged. “Perhaps you are correct, but then, again, perhaps you are not.”

The comment made Elizabeth press her lips together to keep from smiling too widely.

Mary rarely backed down from a challenge.

If any of her sisters were more stubborn than she herself was, it was her next youngest sister.

Not even Lydia could hold out as long as Mary could.

Indeed, it was likely Lydia who had helped her hone her tenacious temperament, for Lydia was constantly attempting to provoke her.

“If they were locked in a room –”

“No.” Elizabeth interrupted Lydia’s comment. “Forget that I ever said that.”

“But it would work to –”

“No,” Elizabeth repeated. “Do not cause a scene. Please.”

Lydia crossed her arms and huffed. “I do not want to dance with either of them.”

“Then, do not dance with them,” Mary said. “Feign a need to refresh yourself or fix a slipper or some such thing.”

Lydia gasped. “Pretend an untruth?”

“Do not look at me like that,” Mary replied. “It would not be the first time you have done so.”

“But it is the first time I have heard you suggest that she should,” Kitty inserted.

“In the face of desperate times, I believe a little pretense might not be so bad as it is at other times, and it will ensure that Mr. Collins will not wish to have you as his wife if he knows that you are given to being untruthful.”

“I still cannot believe you are suggesting such a thing,” Kitty said.

Mary just shrugged. “Mr. Collins annoys me. I am sure I will need to repent for my deeds and attitudes later, but at present, I do not feel convicted to do so.” She held Kitty’s gaze.

Again, Elizabeth felt herself sigh. Tonight was certainly going to be entertaining if it did not turn out to be disastrous. “Oh, dear,” she muttered to herself at that realization.

“Do not worry; all will be well,” Mr. Darcy said as he took her hand. “Shall we continue our walk? You have not yet seen all the decorations.”

“I suppose we should.”

“Richard will make sure no one gets locked in any rooms or prevaricates beyond sparing a gentleman a refused dance. Will you not?”

“Most certainly,” the colonel agreed.

“And Georgie,” Mr. Darcy continued, “you will attempt to make sure our cousin does not cause a scene?”

“I do not need a nursemaid,” Richard cried.

“I will do what I can,” Miss Darcy answered. “And I am not a nursemaid. I am your dearest cousin who wishes to see you enjoy the evening without being bothered by the likes of Mr. Wickham. They do not get along,” she explained to Kitty, Mary, and Lydia. “They never really have.”

“Indeed, we have not,” Richard agreed. He tipped his head toward the door. “Go ahead. Enjoy yourselves without fear. The four of us will not cause either of you any embarrassment unless it absolutely cannot be avoided.”

“That is not very reassuring,” Elizabeth said as she and Mr. Darcy left the group.

“I agree. It is not. However, it is the best that we can expect.”