Page 1 of How to Hack a Hellhound (Hellhounds of Paradise Falls #2)

Chapter 1

Quinton

W orking in retail was hell, and working in the food industry side of retail was apparently a special level of hell reserved for the truly damned. Yet somehow, here I was.

It was almost closing time at the coffee shop, and there were only two customers left in line. I was making the coffee, because Cass seemed to think calling customers assholes was bad for business. So I had to take my petty revenge by spelling people’s names wrong on their cups—or mishearing them totally. Bob? I could’ve sworn you said Boob. Scott? Are you sure you didn’t say Snot?

I took my amusement where I could get it. Right now, though, I was in the existential hell of not wanting to be at work but also not wanting to be at home.

Wasn’t I just a ray of fucking sunshine.

You could chalk that attitude up to me being kidnapped, held hostage in a basement by a human trafficker, and then being rescued by some… being that wasn’t quite human. And let’s not forget being rehomed like some kind of stray animal afterwards.

Yeah, those would all be reasons for a pretty shitty attitude. It wasn’t my excuse, though. I’d had this shitty attitude before I’d been kidnapped. Besides, my roommate, Aiden, another “stray,” had actually been held captive and abused for like a year or something (he understandably didn’t talk much about it). If anyone had a reason for an attitude, it was him, but he was actually a really sweet guy—when he talked.

Just as I finished the order, the bell over the door jingled, because of course it did.

And, of course, it was Toby.

Toby was like that college professor that wore mismatched shoes and forgot to come to class on time. You knew he was an idiot, but somehow everyone still loved him. Not that I knew much about college professors, because in my old life I’d only taken a few courses while I worked full time.

Toby bounded over to the counter like a freaking shih-tzu or some other miniature yappy dog, all chatty and cheery. His attitude and looks were deceiving, though, because he wrote all kinds of gory shit for a living, and apparently his books were super popular. Conversations with him were odd, at best.

At worst, you might regret having just eaten lunch.

I heard Cass call out the order for the next customer, and it was a pumpkin spice latte.

“Pumpkin spice sucks,” I muttered.

Toby gasped, but the customer barely blinked. He was probably a regular. They were used to my attitude by now.

“Don’t worry about him,” Toby said to the guy. “He has a traumatic backstory. Pumpkin spice is lovely.”

I just snorted and made the coffee. Pumpkin spice wasn’t lovely. It was fucking nasty. I said what I said, and I stood behind it.

“Besides,” Toby added, “we don’t yuck anyone else’s yum. We accept all flavors.”

I glanced over to see Toby smiling, and I barely repressed another snort. Writers always had to make things into some big thematic lesson. I set the coffee on the counter, turning to see that Cass had mysteriously disappeared into the back, leaving me to take Toby’s order.

Although really, that was probably one of the least mysterious things he did.

Because I was surrounded by fucking nut cases.

Yeah, I had a tragic backstory, and so did my roommate, but I had a feeling we barely scratched the surface when it came to plot material.

The guy, Dex, who rescued me from my basement prison, had glowing eyes and flames all over his body at the time. He’d set fire to the house on our way out and dropped me off to be babysat by the coffee shop owner and his boyfriend, because apparently his friends hated dealing with the “human” police. Plus, I hadn’t really given him an alternative—I didn’t particularly care to return to my old life.

So, yeah, Dex was probably not strictly human. It was kind of a shock, but at that point, I had been so messed up that it barely fazed me (kidnapping will do that to you).

So supernatural beings were just another item to add to my already fucked up bingo card.

Oh, yeah, Dex was also dating Toby, the writer. Jury was out on whether or not Toby was human. If he was, he was probably a serial killer, because I didn’t know anyone else who could be so fucking happy talking about dismemberment.

Then there was Cassius and Kushiel, who had pretty much adopted me. They were also fucking weird as hell, and if I had to bet money on it, I wouldn’t guess human for them either. Cassius often stood around talking to thin air, and I learned that it was best not to ask questions, because you never knew what answer you’d get. (I was glad to hear that Great Aunt Bessie was proud of how I was handling everything, but I didn’t want to know why Cassius even knew about a great aunt who had died when I was a kid.)

Kushiel was his own level of weird, always going out for nature walks to talk to the trees. Like, literally talk to the trees—whole conversations. I wasn’t sure if talking to thin air or trees was weirder, but either way, they were fucking odd.

Not that I could complain about them. They gave me a job, a place to stay, clothes, a phone, and a computer, and they didn’t ask for anything in return. I kept waiting for the IOU to come due, because in my experience nothing in life was free, but so far they hadn’t asked for a thing. All I had to do was work a shitty coffee shop job, and I even got paid above minimum wage for it. I don’t even think I had to work the job. I think Cassius just hired me to make me feel useful.

And honestly, the job wasn’t that shitty. Cass was an easy boss, even if he did talk to the air. Aiden worked in the kitchen, because he couldn’t deal with the public, and everyone knew to leave him the fuck alone. The college kids that worked here usually steered totally clear of me, and I hadn’t met the guy who took over the paperwork and tax stuff. The manager, Steph, was the only total bitch on staff (aside from me), so of course I loved her.

Toby cleared his throat, staring at me and waiting for me to go over to the counter.

Fuck. I didn’t even try to stop the dramatic sigh that left my mouth. Toby was going to want something from me, and I vaguely wondered if this was an IOU coming due. There was no other reason for Cass to leave me alone with him.

“What do you want?” I mumbled.

“You,” Toby said, leaning forward against the counter and smiling shyly. Did he just bat his eyelashes at me?

“Uh…” What. The. Fuck. Toby wanted me?

“Tonight! My place, and I can even give you a ride!” he said, gaining confidence as he talked.

“Uh…” I murmured again, because… seriously? He was cute and all, but he was dating the guy who burned things down and clearly wasn’t human. I was not going to his place to… Fuck? Have a date? I didn’t even fucking know. I was flattered, but I liked my skin attached to my body, thank you very much.

“I thought of asking Aiden, too, but I don’t think he’s ready for that yet,” Toby went on. “Maybe if it were just the two of us, but it’s gonna be a group tonight, and I think he needs more time, don’t you?”

I just mutely nodded my head in agreement on that. Yeah, Aiden wasn’t ready for anything. And a group? Was Toby talking, like, an orgy or something?

“A group?” I mumbled.

“Yup!” Toby replied, then he leaned in closer to the counter, and I couldn’t help leaning in too, because I had to hear whatever the fuck he was gonna say next. “But don’t worry, it’s just me and my friends, Josh and Sebbie. And Dex, of course, although he’s very hands off when we do these kinds of nights. He even promised he wouldn’t be intimidating if you came, although I honestly think he’s super sexy when he’s intimidating.”

“I’m flattered, but…” I started, unsure how to even continue. I knew Toby lived a little outside the box, but I hadn’t expected to get invited to some kind of orgy thing.

“Nope. There’s no getting out of it. It’s important for you to get back out there, you know. And if you aren’t enjoying yourself, you can always leave. We aren’t going to make you stay, but you have to at least come and see how it is. And if anything makes you uncomfortable at all, we’ll respect your boundaries,” he stated. “Plus, I already cleared it with Cassius. He said you can leave right at closing time, so my timing was perfect!”

“Uh…” I muttered again.

I was actually fucking speechless. Cass approved? Did he even know what he’d signed me up for? How the hell did I get out of this?

Toby was standing there looking so damn excited and just nodding his head, and somehow I couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I think it was some kind of voodoo mojo or something, because I had no intention of going to an orgy night, but I also didn’t want to hurt Toby’s feelings. He looked so earnest and hopeful.

“I’m not interested in… doing anything,” I muttered, frowning. Maybe that would dissuade him.

Only Toby started nodding his head more vigorously. “Of course. No doing required. Hell, you can just sit in a corner and watch us if you want. Slowly get back into things. Whatever you need, Q,” he answered.

It felt like saying no would be kicking a puppy. I also kind of felt like I owed Dex for saving me. Offending his boyfriend didn’t seem a good way to repay him, even if I wasn’t sure I wanted to witness an orgy. Although in my old life I’d done my fair share of partying, so public sexual acts weren’t really all that shocking. Surely this wouldn’t be so bad.

At least that’s what I told myself as I was led out of the shop to Toby’s car, although I made sure to tell both Cass and Aiden where I was going and that I wouldn’t be more than a few hours.

I had learned that letting people know where you were was always a good idea. The main reason I trusted Toby was because I still thought he was some kind of supernatural being, and I knew Dex was something extra.

Monsters were out there, but so far all the monsters I’d met in real life had been one hundred percent human.

Dear god, it was worse than an orgy. Way worse. I would not have agreed if I had known what it really was.

It was… Fuck. It was like some kind of early 2000 sitcom where all the girls sat around drinking Manhattans and gossiping about the men in their lives, only we were sitting in Toby’s living room, drinking wine, and gossiping.

I was in the gay version of Sex in the City , for fuck’s sake.

I had passed on the alcohol (I didn’t trust Toby’s friends yet), and I was sitting crankily in the corner. Seb was even more cheery than Toby, and Josh was clearly the serious one in the bunch. God, did that make me the Samantha of the group?

Fuck my life.

“I just don’t think the online dating thing is for me,” Seb said, munching on nachos that Toby had placed on a table in the middle of the living room. “After the last two dates, I just think maybe I should try to meet someone a little more organically.”

“It isn’t your fault the first guy was upset that you went on eating your dinner after another guy you helped almost died,” Josh commented. “And you saved the last date’s life when he passed out from low blood sugar and hit his head. That’s a good meet-cute story to tell your friends.”

“Yeah, but after I save someone’s life, I just don’t feel the same level of attraction. Maybe it’s a work thing,” Seb answered.

Ok, so maybe Seb wasn’t human either.

Toby seemed to be staring off into space, thinking. “Maybe you’re an angel and you don’t know it,” he mused. “After all, Dex is a hellhound, and he said there are angels and demons in Paradise Falls. Ohhh, maybe you hit your head and got amnesia and you’re an angel with memory loss!”

Josh looked over at me, saying, “Don’t mind Toby. He goes off on plotting tangents all the time. He doesn’t actually think that.”

I just snorted, because Josh was either a really good liar, or he was totally clueless. (I was betting on clueless.)

But hey, at least I knew what Dex was now. Not that I knew what it meant to be a hellhound.

“I don’t think angels can get amnesia? I mean, they’re angels , so they can’t get hurt, right?” Seb asked.

“Unless they’re fallen angels or something,” Josh added, because despite not believing Toby, he clearly humored his friend.

They all looked at me like I had something to contribute.

“Do you remember your childhood?” I asked, because somehow I was pulled into the insanity of the conversation.

“Ohhh, good point! I bet a fallen angel would have vague, manufactured childhood memories,” Toby said thoughtfully, and then he was up, grabbing a pen and notebook and jotting stuff down.

“Great. We’ve officially lost him to plotting,” Josh muttered.

“You guys have met my parents,” Seb threw out. “Right?” he added, kind of unsurely.

Josh sighed, obviously used to dealing with the craziness. “Yes, Seb, we have met your parents. You are not a fallen angel. Your childhood is real. You are one hundred percent human.”

I snorted over in my corner of solitude. Josh also thought that Dex was human, so I didn’t think he counted as an expert.

“Yeah, but you have to admit, a lot of people do die around me,” Seb added.

“You’re an EMT,” Josh answered.

“Besides, they don’t all die,” Toby added, still jotting stuff down. “But yeah, fallen angel doesn’t fit. Harbinger of Death or something, maybe.”

“You just made that up,” Seb said.

This time Josh snorted. “Of course he did. He’s a writer. Just don’t be surprised when you end up in his next book.”

At that, Josh’s phone buzzed. As he took it out, his whole body tensed up. Seb was watching him, but Toby was still stuck in his head, jotting notes.

Josh looked at it, and it was like he deflated a tiny bit. “It’s getting pretty late, and we’ve probably kept Q out for long enough,” he said, forcing a smile.

“How’re things going with Rick? Is that him?” Seb asked.

“Yeah, he’s just wondering when I’ll be home. Things have been ok. We had a long talk, and we’re going to try and work it out,” Josh answered. “We love each other,” he added.

Yeah, I was pretty good at spotting bullshit, and I called it on that one. Whether Josh didn’t really love his boyfriend, or he didn’t believe his boyfriend loved him, I wasn’t sure. But he was totally lying about something.

We wrapped it up, and somehow I was taking an Uber home with Josh and Seb, which I wasn’t too sure about, but I texted Aiden with all the information. Seb would get dropped off first, then me, then Josh, so I also wouldn’t be alone with the Uber driver.

Not that I had trust issues or anything.

By the time we got to my place across from the coffee shop, I could sense the tension in Josh, and I felt kind of bad for the guy.

“Hey,” I said as I got out. “You’re a good person. A nice guy. You deserve to be loved for who you are.”

It was sappy as fuck, and I’m not sure what possessed me to say it, but Josh’s face sort of crumpled in on itself a little bit before he managed to smooth it back out.

“Thanks,” he said raspily.

I shut the car door and turned to walk into the apartment, keys already out. The car waited until I was inside to pull off, which I was thankful for.

I leaned against the door, staring at the steps up to our apartment. We were on the second floor with a shop underneath us, and we had another locked door and an alarm, which I think Cassius set up just to give us reassurance.

I sighed before trudging up the stairs. I think they all thought I had been stolen when I was kidnapped, and I didn’t correct anyone on that. I was paranoid, and the extra locks and security did make me feel better.

I hadn’t been stolen, though. Not really. But I was too ashamed to admit that I had gone off with my kidnapper of my own free will. I had known Marcus, the guy who locked me in a basement, and I hadn’t even had the excuse of being drunk when I’d gone home with him. I knew it was victim mentality, but I couldn’t help feeling like what happened was my own fault in a lot of ways.

As I opened the door, I called out to Aiden to let him know that it was me, and then I went into my room, shut the door, and sat down at my computer, ready to dive back into research.

I may have been stupid for going off with Marcus, and I blamed myself for being such a loner that no one noticed I was gone, but the guy who took me was only the tip of the iceberg. I was determined to find the rest of them. Marcus hadn’t been alone in his work, and I was going to hunt down every fucker who sold off people to make money.

I smiled, thinking of Dexter, who was apparently a hellhound. He had the right idea when he set Marcus’s mansion on fire.

I was going to burn the whole ring of human traffickers to the ground, even if it was the last thing I did.