Page 25

Chapter 25

Some Might Call this a Double Life

“ H azel, you should’ve seen me. My senses were tingling, my intuition was rock solid…” I pace my suite rapidly, filling her in on my first assignment. Despite my vow to rein in what I tell her, it’s impossible to resist sharing some of it. We always call each other first after something big happens, and it’d be too weird not to. I need to maintain some semblance of normalcy. “We got to the Skytrain station, and I could feel it right away, you know? It took like ten minutes for me to pinpoint it—a bag of ketchup chips inside a vending machine.”

“Cursed chips?” she cries, leaning closer to her laptop. Her jaw is slack, her eyes gleaming. She’s in her dorm at her desk; behind her, fairy lights cast a warm glow over the stark white walls.

“I know!” I punch my fist into my palm, adrenaline still pumping. “Natalie nuked it, and we were out of there in seconds. God, that was good.”

I didn’t have to use the gauntlet from Sky, which was a tad disappointing but for the best. It felt badass to wear it, anyway .

Hazel claps. “Yes! So did you have to buy a bunch of chips before you could get to the cursed bag?”

I hesitate. Natalie used magic to pull the chips right through the glass, and it was mind-bogglingly cool. But this is a detail too far. With a pang of guilt, I say, “Yeah.”

There’s a pause. Hazel’s eyebrows shoot up.

Ugh, I’m a bad liar.

It feels unnatural to keep things from her—like I’m putting up a wall that’s never been there before. We’ve always told each other everything in intimate detail. And keeping with tradition, the first thing I did when she answered was give her a graphic play-by-play of last night with Natalie. But the induction ceremony, my oath, the gauntlet, and other details about magic and CSAMM? Though I want to spill it all, fear and responsibility silence me.

Fiona would be furious that I’ve told Hazel this much, but I can’t backtrack on what I spilled weeks ago, and I’d probably combust if I had to keep everything from her. So, I’ve made the executive decision to continue filling her in on what she already knows—that curses exist and I can detect them.

“Did you figure out what’s up with her?” Hazel asks. “Is she really a vet?”

My heart lurches at the question. “I’m still working on figuring her out.”

Another pause. Hazel’s shoulders sag almost imperceptibly.

“You can tell me things,” she says, a strange note in her voice. “I promise I’ll keep your secrets. I don’t have to share any more info with Sean.”

Ouch, my heart. She thinks I don’t trust her.

“You’re the first person I tell about anything and everything,” I say, stepping closer to the laptop. I hope she can read my sincerity.

She casts me a small smile. It’s almost sad, like she’s hoping for more .

But I can’t give her more. Not only would it violate my oath, but there’s also a real chance it would put her in danger. The less she knows about CSAMM and magic—and the Madsens—the safer she’ll be from all this.

“Looks like a nice room you’re in…” Hazel leans back in her chair. “Tell me this, at least. Is your basement really flooded, or have you been staying with Natalie?”

I purse my lips. Her assumption isn’t entirely wrong. Anyway, it’s probably safer to let her think I’ve been living at Natalie’s because we’re hooking up.

Her smile turns smug. “Wow. You warned me girls move fast.”

I laugh. “It’s not like that. It’s complicated.”

“I gathered. Are you spending more time at her place or yours?”

“Hers.” I chew my lip. She’ll think I’m nuts if I tell her I don’t intend to go back to mine at all. I plan to give my landlord notice and pick up the rest of my stuff eventually, but for now, it isn’t safe to return. Not when Freddie Madsen knows where I live.

“And Ethel?” Hazel asks.

“She goes where I go.” I pick up my precious baby off the bed and kiss her soft head. I’ll figure out how to register her as soon as we’re done talking so she can go back to exploring her new home.

“You brought the furbaby and everything…” Hazel shakes her head, her cheeks dimpling. “This girl has a firm hold on your heart, Katie.”

My face heats up. Again, she’s not wrong. “It’s—”

“Complicated, I know.”

When I don’t elaborate, her smile fades.

It hurts to hide things from her. And I can’t fix this.

She sighs, fidgeting with something off-screen. “You’ve always been good at reading people, so I trust your decisions. But… guard your heart a little, okay? You met through a weird circumstance, and I feel like there’s still a lot you don’t know about her. ”

I try to see this from her perspective. I suppose watching your best friend fall for a mysterious woman who has something to do with curses would be a little concerning.

And she has a point. Natalie was shrouded in secrets when we met, and that hasn’t changed.

I nod. “I will. Thanks.”

She nods back, as if we’ve come to an agreement.

“Why don’t I spare you from blushing any deeper and fill you in on my co-op job applications?” she asks—a peace offering.

“Please,” I say desperately, both to avoid how much I’m blushing over Natalie and to skirt more questions I can’t answer.

Hazel’s eyes crinkle as she laughs at my awkwardness, and I relax, returning the smile.

While I rub Ethel’s chin, Hazel tells me about her upcoming co-op interviews and her latest dates with Sean—but with each forced laugh and excessive bubbliness in our tones, I can’t shake the feeling that the last thread of normalcy is fraying between us. Living across the country was hard enough on our relationship, and now I’ve added secrets into the mix.

Guilt bubbles up in me, leaving a bitter taste. When I said my oath, I didn’t consider what it would mean for every other aspect of my life—most of all, friendships and family. How many lies and half-truths will I have to tell them? Will I ever be able to have a normal conversation without watching my words?

Knowing about magic and curses is a level of responsibility I’m not used to, and it’s quite possibly going to change my relationships with everyone I love. But it must be possible to balance these parts of my life. No matter what, I refuse to let CSAMM take away my most important relationships. Guardian or not, I’m still Katie Alexander, and no threat from any witch is going to make me shift my priorities.

I kiss Natalie urgently, running my fingers through her hair. Her lips are warm against mine, her hands clamped around my waist beneath my unzipped jacket. My back presses into the wooden wall, pinned by her body.

We’re in a dressing room in a historic theater, stealing these few minutes before we have to return to CSAMM. Red ambient light bathes us, making Natalie’s features unbearably sexy. A crater smolders in the floor where a cursed fog machine once sat emitting soap bubbles in the shape of crude words. Now, the word ‘wanker’ floats through the room.

I bring my knee up to Natalie’s hips, holding her to me. No matter how close she is, it isn’t enough—my stomach twists, desperate to feel her body against every part of mine.

Slowing down our kiss, she traces her fingers over my bare thigh, teasing me by moving higher.

My heart skips. She’s about to find out why I wore a dress on an assignment.

As she gets to the spot where my underwear should be, she freezes, pulling back to gape at me. “Are you serious?”

I flash her a flirty smile.

She slides her hand around to my butt, groaning hungrily, and leans in to kiss my neck.

I shiver, massaging between her legs over her jeans. “Want to?”

She pulls back again. She checks over her shoulder at the open door, though it’s midnight and we’re the only ones here. For now, anyway. Explosions often result in filed complaints, which means law enforcement might pop in any minute to check on the place.

“Come on,” I whisper, undoing her belt. “It’s been days, and I need you.”

She doesn’t stop me, letting out a breathy, “Katie…”

Fire licks through me as she grins and slips her fingers back under my dress.

As much as I relish these stolen moments to make out—and more—while we’re on assignment, frustration simmers beneath the desire. We can only meet strategically. We can’t be seen together too often, which means I usually take meals alone. I still haven’t been to her room because she lives in a corner unit at a busy intersection. Any time we have together is quick and frantic. But while the secrecy was once exciting, now, it’s confining.

I slide my hand into her jeans, and her eyelids flutter closed, a shaky breath escaping.

She grips the back of my knee and lifts my leg, giving her better access. I clutch the back of her neck and whimper.

All that heated kissing made me so ready for her, and as her fingers glide along my center, hunger passes over her expression. “I can never get enough of you.”

“Same,” I whisper.

As she touches me, I bite back a moan. Everything in me melts in a rush of pleasure, and it’s a good thing I’m being held up between her and the wall. I surrender to the rhythm of her fingers, letting out tiny gasps.

She feels excruciatingly amazing, making me question why we don’t throw caution to the wind and do this every day. Multiple times a day, even.

“We’ll have to—figure out how to sneak me into your room,” I murmur between hitched breaths.

She hesitates for the briefest moment. “Maybe on a holiday—when people leave to see their extended families. But then…”

Then I would be with my family, too. Are we ever going to get a chance to be in a normal relationship? One where we can go on dates, hold hands in public, and spend unlimited time together ?

She claims my mouth again, distracting me from that train of thought.

Our rhythm quickens as we get lost in each other, our breaths coming faster.

With my knee on her hip, the purple gemstone in the pocket of her trench coat thumps against my outer thigh, our trophy from neutralizing the curse. A reminder of how much I don’t understand about magic.

I try to ignore it, but a spark of frustration returns. Despite our assignments, despite taking the oath, I still don’t know CSAMM’s secrets—or Natalie’s. What are they keeping from me?

Natalie pauses, sensing my distraction. She meets my gaze with a soft, concerned expression. “You okay?”

I nod quickly. “Yeah. Keep going.”

Pushing down my doubts, I sink back into the present. We don’t have long, and I’m ruining this fleeting moment by overthinking.

I should be grateful for each second with her, whether we’re in a dressing room or a train station. Because between the coven and the Madsens, there are too many reasons it could all come to an abrupt end.

Balancing my life doesn’t get any easier. One minute I’m pressed against Natalie, frantically kissing her while a curse blows up whatever room we’re in, and the next, I’m in the calm CSAMM courtyard with my laptop, pretending to be a normal university student. It’s a dizzying double life, but I keep afloat through sheer stubbornness, refusing to let any part of my life sink.

On the first day of February, as I’m catching up on sociology lectures in the courtyard, a Director named Amir strides toward a group of Shadows at another picnic table. His brow is pinched, his face lined and solemn .

I tuck my hair behind my ear, straining to hear the conversation.

His low voice barely reaches me. “…Freddie and Oaklyn…cemetery…”

“Looking for a curse?” Hayley asks.

“Seems so.”

A shiver runs down my spine.

Natalie and Sky enter the courtyard too, both wearing black trench coats. Their expressions are grave, a palpable tension raising the hairs on the back of my neck.

I catch Natalie’s eye and glance pointedly at the group, a silent question.

She nods and says something to Sky, motioning in my direction.

While Sky goes and slides in next to Hayley, Natalie comes to my table—which is as unoccupied and lonely as ever—and sits across from me.

“An Alchemist, Jaques, took his kids to Fort Langley today,” she murmurs. The place name is familiar—a little historical village an hour east. “We just got a call from him. They spotted the Madsen siblings skulking around by the cemetery. He’s keeping an eye until we can get there.”

I sit taller, my heart pounding. “We?”

Natalie nods grimly. “They’re searching for something.”

“Someone tipped them off about a curse in the area?” I venture.

“Seems like it. Fiona just told me about a curse there last night, and now, here they are.” Her scowl deepens. “Can you be ready to go in five minutes?”

I slap my laptop shut and scoop my textbooks, phone, notebook, and pens into my backpack. “I’m ready now.”

We head to my room to drop off my bag, where I put on a jacket and the gauntlet—which I still haven’t had to use.

“Just a pit stop in the Alchemy wing to get a vial.” Natalie guides me with her hand hovering near the small of my back, hesitating before making contact. Her feather-light touch sears through my layers, sending a flutter through me.

I want her to keep it there, but she drops her hand before anyone can round the corner and see.

I’ll take what I can get, I guess.

I study each door we pass, curiosity about the unexplored rooms eating away at me. “In the Library wing, I felt magic in the air. Is that normal?”

Natalie arches an eyebrow. “It’s… rare.”

“Do you feel it when you walk down that hall?”

A pause. “No.”

I suppress a self-satisfied smile.

But when I look up, she’s frowning.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

She glances sideways at me. “I’m taking you away from studying again.”

Somehow, I don’t think that’s what she was frowning about. But I wave a hand. “I’ll catch up later.”

“Don’t you have midterms? What about that sociology essay?”

I resist the urge to kiss that concerned look right off her face—Alchemists trickle through the hall all around us.

“I’m keeping up just fine, Natalie. Don’t worry, school is important to me, and I’m not letting anything slip.” It’s the truth, even if I’m a little more stressed than I otherwise would be. “Anyway, I don’t need you to oversee my studying.”

She stops at a locked door, Alchemy 13. “You’re missing out on the university experience because of me. You should be going to class in person and seeing your friends.”

“It’s not because of you,” I tell her firmly. “Stop blaming yourself for the fact that I stumbled on a cursed kitten. ”

Attending lectures is too dangerous after what happened with Oaklyn, but I don’t mind studying remotely. Sure, some aspects suck—I’m still in a group chat with Clayton and the others, which means I watch their plans fly by without participating in any. And I care about this more than I thought I would. I guess I was starting to consider them friends, after all.

But it’s hard to feel sad about missing out on study groups and beer gardens when I get to help track down curses with Natalie every couple of days—we found fourteen in January. Not to mention I get to have her naked in my bed.

I bite my lip, hyper-aware of the way her arm brushes mine as we stand a little closer than necessary.

She puts her palm on the lock of Alchemy 13. It clicks. When she pushes open the door, icy air blasts out, prickling my cheeks and the tip of my nose. I recoil as white vapor curls before us, my breath misting in the doorway. The dark room is a walk-in freezer, the frosty walls lined with dozens of shelves of glass vials—all tubular, thumb-sized, and full of that shimmering amber substance.

Natalie sees my awe and smiles. “The Alchemists make it in large batches. Saves time.”

She steps inside, takes two off the wall, and drops them into an inner pocket.

I watch closely, distracted by her fingers and the memory of what they can do.

“What’re you thinking about?” she murmurs, stepping close. Her cocked eyebrow tells me she’s correctly reading my expression.

I smile mischievously, leaning back against the door frame. “About what we’ll do when we get back later.”

“Oh?” She’s right in front of me, the heat of her body warming my cheeks as I incline my head. She touches my bottom lip, a gentle tease. “ If I had it my way, I’d take you right here up against—uh, we should go.”

Her sudden change in tone from sexy-as-hell to blandly professional leads me to believe someone is approaching.

“Yep,” I say, turning around.

Will strides past with a cart of empty vials wheeling in front of him on its own. He shoots us a glare. “Playing a dangerous game, Zacharias,” he mumbles.

Natalie does a double-take. “Come again?”

Will jerks his chin toward the room. “Shut the door before you let all the cold air out.”

She frowns but lets it drop, closing the door.

Shit. Did Will see us in the door frame, or were we out of sight? Does it matter when he seems to have a strong suspicion about the two of us already?

Natalie casts me a guilty grimace, which I return. We rush back to the lounge, neither of us willing to discuss what just happened when there could be listening ears.

In the lounge, Sky, Hayley, and four other Shadows have assembled, their terse murmurs breaking up the charged silence. They’re ready for action in their black traveling cloaks and utility belts.

Sky pulls her hood up. “Listen up, everyone. We’re going to split up and close in on their location from six points. We’ll get an update from Jaques on their exact whereabouts before moving in. While Nat and Katie find the curse and neutralize it, the rest of us will focus on trapping those assholes.”

Natalie shifts infinitesimally closer to me, her arm brushing mine in a subtle but supportive gesture—a reminder that she and I are a team.

Sky waits for everyone to nod, then jabs a thumb toward the exit. “Let’s move. ”

As we head to the steam clock, Natalie seizes the excuse to put an arm around me—I need a witch to bring me back out to the real world, after all. But the others don’t miss it, every gaze lingering a tad too long. Brows pinch and lips tighten in the few seconds Natalie’s arm is across my shoulders, and she removes it quickly, the discomfort palpable. She and Sky exchange a look I can’t interpret.

We might be worse than I thought at keeping our situation a secret. Does everyone see the familiar way we melt into each other’s bodies? Has someone even seen Natalie leaving my room or returning to hers in the midnight hours?

We have to be more cautious. I care too much about her to mess up everything she’s worked for.

As we drive to Fort Langley in the back of a dark cargo van, I clench my fists in my lap, wishing I could reach over and take her hand. The danger of working with curses hits harder now that I’ve experienced how deadly they can be—knowing all this could come to an end if we can’t neutralize one in time. Knowing the Madsens are willing to do anything to get their hands on one.

It’s scary how I feel about Natalie—how much is at risk. I’ve never spent so much time thinking about a girl, never been so giddy about one… and never been so afraid of losing someone.