Shane could still feel the lingering tingles of venom in his fingers and the curves they’d traced of his vampire’s face, like the slope of his bones had tried to imprint themselves there. It didn’t matter to him that the car had been so dark he could barely make out his vampire against the shadows. He wanted to see beneath the mask, to see the person who’d been making him come undone, who’d convinced his body it was safe and persuaded his heart to stay despite the danger. The anonymity had felt thrilling in the beginning, but he wanted depth now.
Still, his vampire wasn’t comfortable enough with the idea.
“I’m afraid you won’t feel the same about the person beneath as you do with me.”
What the fuck did that mean? Did he think Shane would find him visually undesirable? Did his appearance not fit what he thought a tall, menacing and sensual vampire’s should?
The final option was the only one that gave Shane the slightest bit of hesitation: maybe his vampire didn’t want Shane to see who he was, because Shane already knew him, and disliked him. A celebrity he’d interviewed in the past, perhaps. An old coworker he’d forgotten. Someone he’d run into at a bar…
Sometimes, when his voice slipped out of its sultry growl for a moment, Shane thought it sounded weirdly familiar. He’d make a rated list later. Andres would get a kick out of that—and it was probably time he shared the existence of his vampire with more than just Nat, for his own safety, if nothing else.
Before he’d pulled away, his vampire had asked for Shane’s clothing measurements, and Shane’s mind had flashed through a strange array of fantasies, then to thoughts of the upcoming Vitalis-Barron gala, before realizing he was probably ordering them outfits for Tara’s work. At least he hadn’t demanded to take the measurements himself. At least, or if only? Shane couldn’t decide as he drew the measuring tape across his body, envisioning his vampire’s fingers skimming the same places.
Shane wrote his results down, slipped the paper beneath the doormat, and returned to his computer to record what little he’d learned tonight—most of it theories about kink in the vampire community. Even if he wasn’t writing the War on Blood article yet, he wanted to record as much information on the vampiric existence as he could. No matter how strongly his vampire believed that what was happening with Vitalis-Barron could be viewed as a singular event, its existence was interconnected with the rest of vampire society. Shane would prove that, even if that meant finishing the damn article and shoving it in his vampire’s face.
In the meantime, he accepted a new set of obnoxious review pieces for ChatterDash, one of which had a grammatical error in the keyword phrase they mandated he include in it, then checked his glucose levels and took his nightly insulin. He’d have to pick up more soon—another trip to the pharmacy, another payment he wished he could have been spending on anything else. He wondered if he tasted any different to his vampire with the rising and falling of his blood sugar.
Rate your human’s blood based on how long it has been since he took his insulinsounded boring for a video that would probably play like a porno: bite after bite after bite.
Shane shuddered at the thought, and the tremble went straight between his legs, settling there warm and tender. Fuck. He hadn’t even been kissed again; he could not run away with himself yet. Though at the rate they were moving, it seemed like Shane might have to be the one to run away with them both if he wanted anyone to.
His phone pinged as he was climbing into bed. He hoped to see Andres’s name, or if not him, then at least Nat, but instead the text came from an unknown number.
Hi Shane, this is Mercer. I hope this is not intruding. I dug up the old business card you’d given me, so perhaps it’s the wrong number now. Anyway, I wanted to check that you’re all right. The vampire you were with has always been perfectly nice in all our interactions but I’ve worked with a lot of kink couples over the years and you both seemed unusually tense. If I’m overstepping, I apologize immensely. I just wanted to offer help if you need it, and if not then I wish you both the very best.
Oh, fuck. The back of Shane’s throat felt dry suddenly. They had been tense—but that was, in part, because they weren’t a couple. Or they were, perhaps, just not in the way Mercer assumed, not two dating lovebirds who called each other partner, but a human and the vampire who’d bought him. And together or not, they weren’t into kink.
Not that Shane had anything against kink—or what little he knew of it; restraints and leather and sex dungeons. While bondage wasn’t his thing and he didn’t want a dominatrix to tell him he’d been a bad boy, he could still respect that it worked for some people. Collars though…
He’d assumed those for kink were all dark and heavy with little metal hooks and thought nothing of them, but something beautiful and delicate—a gilded piece that made him not a pet but a prize…
Shane rubbed the side of his neck, the heat between his legs undeniable. There would be little gilded chains too, his vampire had said. Little chains that could be tugged on, pulling Shane close, his vampire asking him, sultry and possessive, to tip his head, revealing where his racing heart pounded through his exposed pulse. That was still just a bite. Still just the same thing—the same wonderful thing—they’d been doing this entire time. And yet dressed up like that…
Was that kink? Fuck, Shane didn’t know, and in that moment he was too afraid to google; to be told in definitive terms that this version of it was just as unhealthy and harmful as he’d suspected. He’d been letting his vampire coerce him, control him, scare him even—that couldn’t be right.
He couldn’t bring himself to stop it though. No matter how much he’d grown to long for every text he received from Andres, he didn’t know how to go back to a world where that simplicity was all he craved. Where it wasn’t his vampire he wanted most.
That was far too much to tell the poor smith, though.
Shane-anigans
Thank you for checking, but I’m fine. You just caught us on a bad day.
He clicked send before his weaker self could tag on a question about vampires and kink, and flipped over to his chatting app.
Shane-anigans
So is it weird how into this vampire I am?
Nat1
Dude it’s 2am
Shane-anigans
Dude you’re the one responding to me.
Nat1
Fine.
All right. I want to say immediately UM YES HE’S A VAMPIRE; maybe he really is a great person after all but if it turns out he ISN’T, you’re putting yourself in a lot of unnecessary danger. But also, I guess it depends on why you’re this into him? /curious don’t hate me
“Don’t hate me,”his vampire had said. And Shane was sure there were plenty of humans who would have, in his place, but somehow Shane was still here, still begging for more.
Shane-anigans
No it definitely is weird, I don’t know why I even asked.
Nat1
I’m not going to shame you for your preferences but be careful, please. Keep one foot out the door and if you get even the slightest vibe that maybe he isn’t as heroic as you think he is, run.
Shane-anigans
He’s not going to kill me.
Nat1
You super can’t know that.
The one that killed my mentor didn’t look capable of it either.
I just can’t lose my only friend too, okay.
And take it from me, it’s better not to risk falling for someone you know you shouldn’t. (Because otherwise when you realize maybe you should end things, it’ll be so late that you’ll know it’ll kill you, so you don’t, even when the sex isn’t good anymore and he’s talking about other humans more than he’s talking to you, and you’ve already said you’re fine with him fucking around but you don’t want that to mean he treats you less like you’re his world in the process.)
Shane-anigans
So have you told your boyfriend all this?
Nat1
What if he breaks up with me.
Shane could more than acknowledge her fear—he could feel it himself. What if: What if she was right, and this ended in heartbreak? There were so many things he didn’t know and so many ways it could all crumble down.
And that didn’t mean it wasn’t all worth it.
But it meant something.
Shane-anigans
Then you can come eat ice cream on my couch and we’ll get really drunk and I’ll tell you how I would totally fuck you if you had fangs… By which I mean, I’m so sorry, you deserve better than this. Whatever you choose to do, I’m here for you.
Nat1
You’re incredible and I love you. /platonic
And I might take you up on that night sometime ;)
Did you want to talk about your problem?
Shane-anigans
It’s really not a big deal lol
And honestly, you’ve given me a lot to think about. /grateful
And she had. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it.
A new text came through, flaring across the top of his screen like a light at the end of a tunnel. It left him giddy regardless of how many others he’d gotten that day already.
Andres
The truth: do you ever think two people were destined to meet? (Not to be together, necessarily, just to fall into each other, as many times as it takes.)
Shane couldn’t help the instinctive smile that loosened his face. The warmth that had been flaring low in his pelvis was replaced by a bright, joyous blaze in his chest. It turned quickly to a knot. This was the relationship he needed. Something real, and normal, and healthy. His memories of Andres were buried in dim colors and loud music, but he could still recall that they’d looked so lovely even with their makeup running, an intensity to their gaze and a softness to their lips.
They had both fallen into each other, hadn’t they?
And if Shane hadn’t felt what it was like to have his vampire’s breath on his neck and his whispers of you’re mine, he was certain he would be letting himself fall fully for Andres too.
Shane
With all the free-will-ruining implications of destiny, I’m not sure how firmly I can trust in it.
But if you want a truth, here’s this: occasionally, when a truly wonderful coincidence happens, I wonder if perhaps God is real, and she created the world ten seconds before just so she could experience that moment with me.
Andres
What if you don’t recognize the coincidence when it happens?
Shane
If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?
If a vampire wore a mask, did he have a face? Shane would find out. Sooner or later, one way or another. Coincidence or not.