Page 41 of How Sweet It Is (Willow Shade Island #3)

M y phone chimes, and I sit up in bed, my heart pounding. Is it Claire? I pick up the phone from my nightstand but groan and flop backward when I see it’s only Kiki.

Has she contacted you yet?

Kiki’s been bothering me ever since Claire left Willow Shade, giving me updates on the trial, telling me how good we were together and how she’s sure Claire will come back as soon as everything is settled.

But she didn’t stand there and watch Claire’s face as I begged her to come back to me. She wasn’t there when all Claire said was… I’m sorry.

The memory makes my chest ache. It makes everything ache.

It’s my day off, so I roll over and close my eyes, not ready to get up yet.

Not that I’ve been asleep. I woke up at four o’clock like a good little baker and have been awake since, staring at the same crack in the ceiling like it holds the answer to everything.

The shadows in the room have shifted at least three times, but I haven’t moved.

I haven’t gotten up. I haven’t done anything.

Three days.

The trial’s over. She’s free. She could be anywhere. And I haven’t heard a single word.

I press the heel of my palm against my chest, right where it aches the most. It’s not supposed to feel like this. She was the uptight librarian, not the woman of my dreams. She wasn’t supposed to be sexy, funny, or witty. I didn’t even like her at first. I wasn’t supposed to fall for her.

Except I did. Somewhere between her snarky comebacks and the way she looks when she’s eating one of my gluten-free pastries, I fell. Hard.

She was supposed to be quiet. Dull. Maybe a little awkward. The kind of woman who reads dusty old books and corrects your grammar and glares at you for chewing too loud.

She wasn’t supposed to fit into my life. She wasn’t supposed to feel like home. And now she’s gone.

Maybe this is for the best. If she wanted me, she would be here.

I flip over onto my side, dragging the blanket with me like it’s some kind of shield. It’s not. It’s just heavy, thick, and suffocating. I kick it off.

“She’s not the right girl for you if she can disappear like this.” I say the words out loud just to hear them. They sound flat. Hollow.

I should believe them. I want to believe them. But I don’t.

Because I saw the way she looked at me. I felt it. And maybe that makes me an idiot, lying here like a kicked puppy, but I know it wasn’t just in my head.

I just don’t know if it was enough.

My stomach makes a gurgling sound. I should get up. Make some scones. Do something. But the thought of going in and sifting gluten-free flour makes me feel like I’m made of lead. Like even moving would take more strength than I’ve got left.

I miss her. I miss her laugh. Her stubbornness. Even the way she hid all of those gluten-filled treats I made her because she couldn’t eat them and didn’t want to tell me.

I close my eyes, but all I see is her walking away. And I don’t know how much longer I can take the silence.

My phone chimes again. I know it’s not her, but I hope anyway as I lift my phone. It’s Micah.

Hey, can I crash at your place tonight?

Sure, I text back.

Maybe Micah can talk some sense into me. Maybe having him here will pull me out of this terrible mood I’m in. But even as I think about it, I know it’s not true. There’s only one person who can do that.

And she’s chosen to leave me.

I open the door. Micah takes one look at me and says, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” I say, although it comes out more like a growl.

“Hey, man, don’t get mad at me.” He walks past me and into my living room. “But you look like butt. Smell a little like it too.”

“Thanks,” I say, the sarcasm thick.

Micah sets down his duffel bag and turns to me. “She didn’t call?”

The dull ache grows sharp. “Nope.”

“Aw, man. That sucks.”

“Yeah.”

“Does she not answer the phone when you call her?”

I give him a flat look. “I don’t have her number. She was in freakin’ witness protection, remember?”

“I know, but you know her parents’ business, right? Can’t you call that?”

“All I know is they own a flower shop in Cincinnati. There are way too many to call them all. I checked.”

“How many is too many? You could totally start calling them. Why haven’t you?”

The pain threatens to become unbearable. “Because. She doesn’t want me,” I say quietly.

“Dude, I saw the way she looked at you at the wedding. She wants you.”

I exhale, frustrated that Micah isn’t getting it and that I have to spell it out for him. “Not enough to leave Cincinnati. Her parents’ business is more important to her.”

“Did you tell her you love her?”

“No.”

He frowns, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You wimp. You totally love her. Why didn’t you tell her that?”

I set my jaw. “Because. She doesn’t love me back.”

“That’s a lie.”

“I don’t think so. You weren’t there when I asked her to come back after things were settled. She basically said no.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “What were her exact words?”

“I told her I’m not asking for forever, that all I wanted was a maybe. She said, and I quote, ‘I don’t know if I can promise that.’ And when I practically begged her to come back, she said, ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s it. Her next words were ‘I have to go,’ and then she left.”

“Wait,” my brother says, holding up a hand. “You told her you’re not asking for forever? You said those words?”

Irritation zings through me. “How many times do I have to say it? She doesn’t want me. She left.”

“Right. But you basically told her all you want is a fling. Come on, Levi. How many girls have you dated? Do you think telling her you don’t want forever is going to make her want to come back to you?”

I stand there, stunned. “I thought she didn’t want commitment.”

He shakes his head. “Dude, you’re dumb. What woman doesn’t want commitment? You think all she wants is a maybe from you? That she’d move away from her family just so you can string her along like every other girl you’ve dated?”

He’s right. I’m dumb. I thought I was trying to convince her to come back, but I said all the wrong things. I scrub a hand down my face. “You’re right.”

He claps me on the shoulder. “Tomorrow, go find her. Get her back. But dude, shower first, okay?”

I nod. My little brother is right. I need to find Claire so I can tell her how committed I am to her. So I can tell her I can’t live without her. I need to tell her I’m in love with her and I’m willing to give her forever.

I need to get her back.