Page 5 of House of Demons and Bones (Shades of Ruin and Magic #5)

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Barbie

I t was just Killian and me now.

I’m here too, Sy reminded me, like I could forget.

Killian watched me stuff my face with cake, cheeks bulging. He was waiting for me to break the ice first, but I wasn’t giving him any hint about my next move.

Silence stretched between us, broken only by gusts of icy wind. If he wanted to remain mute, two could play at that game. I stood up. Unlike the fae prince, I could open my own damn portal and get the fuck out of here.

“Not so fast, my little scorpion,” he said, his hand lashing out and snaking around my waist.

I grabbed his wrist to shove him off, even though my body rebelled.

“I’m not yours,” I said. “Never was, never will be.”

His dragon growled, and I narrowed my eyes at the sound. Others might quake at a dragon’s roar, but I wasn’t others.

“Still mad at me, aren’t you?” Killian said. “I can see you wanting to hurt me badly.”

“You’re not even worth me hurting you,” I said.

He chuckled. “Don’t you know you wounded me after using me then kicking me to the curb last time? No other woman would dare treat me that way.”

“Of course,” I said. “They just trap you with a mating bond, and you roll over to satisfy their every whim.”

His face darkened instantly. “My little scorpion always strikes where it hurts. But you’re wrong about that bond. Forces beyond me might’ve forged it, but it’s never been a true mating bond. However, I still kept my vow of celibacy to keep everyone away, Lilith included, and I only broke it for you. You should be able to tell that you’re the only one I’ve been with.”

Sy had informed me she didn’t smell another woman on him.

“The bond with Lilith is just a magical lock keeping me from having sex with other women,” he continued. “You’re the only one who can walk right past it.” He paused, dark emotions storming through his eyes. “I tried breaking it, but nothing worked. It’s sealed with dark intent and blood magic.”

I knew curses, had cleared the block in Bea, and still needed to tackle the Fury in Cade. But that bond between Killian and Lilith remained untouchable, and I could feel it festering in him like an open wound. I had an idea, though—I’d have to form my own bond with him to uproot the old one from his betrothed.

It wouldn’t be an easy task. I swallowed. But that was a problem for another day.

“Grace touches you just fine,” I said, tilting my head to the side. “And don’t lie. I saw it with my own eyes, and she keeps bragging about it. Or maybe you’ve got a thing for her.”

“A thing for your pale copy?” Killian snorted. “No one knows where she crawled out from. She’s not you, nothing like you, and can never replace you. Grace is just Lilith’s puppet, a weapon aimed at you. I know their game, and I’ve been playing along to keep them away from you.”

“Why stop playing then?” I snickered. “You seem to enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it? While I had to watch Louis try to drink from you and Silas try to get into your pants?”

“So you get to have others, but I don’t? Since when do you have rights to me?”

“I don’t want anyone except you! I’ve fought Lilith’s control since day one. She’ll never have me, even if I can’t have you. And Grace—that empty-headed, power-hungry girl with your face? What could she possibly give me?”

“You tell me,” I insisted. “You once looked at her like she was your world.”

He laughed. “Now you’re making shit up just to win the argument. I never looked at her that way. I couldn’t even fake it. My hot looks are only for you. I might’ve faked interest in her chatter, just to keep their attention off you and on me.”

“Yeah, except it hasn’t stopped them from coming after me. They’ll keep coming until I’m dead or driven off.”

“But they haven’t hit you with their full power,” he said, “because I’m still standing between you and them, even if it doesn’t look that way. But none of that matters now. Things have changed.”

“What things?”

“You’ve entered the first circle of the mating heat,” he said. “You’ll need me full-time now. Besides, you’re always in danger. Those abominations we fought seemed fixed on you. From now on, I’m always with you, even in public. We handle things together.” He closed his eyes for a second with regret. “I should’ve done it earlier. Should’ve trusted that you could hold your own.”

“So I’m not your dirty little secret anymore?” I half-sneered. “Not your side piece?”

“You know it’s only you. It’s always been you.”

“You kissed her,” I seethed. His cozying up with Lilith and my copy had cut me deep.

“I wouldn’t call that a kiss, little scorpion,” he said. “I turned away when she tried. Just a brush on my cheek. I couldn’t avoid it then, but that is no excuse for hurting you. I hate myself for doing that to you.” The wind tousled his dark hair. “I suck at relationships. I never bothered with them since I never thought I’d have a real one. But you’re my true mate. I can learn to do better by you.”

He’d hit every note and said everything I craved to hear. My blood even sang at his words, but reality also closed in like walls crushing me from all sides. Everything had exploded in just a few weeks, with the biggest threat looming—my father was coming.

I couldn’t deal with a relationship now. The oracle’s words swirled through my head like the tolling of a dark bell. My gut knew how this would end, and there would be no HEA for me. But I could still give others, especially Sy, their happy endings after I went out with a bang. I owed Sy that much, and I’d do everything I could to make sure she had a future.

“You hurt me, Killian,” I said, shaking my head. “Even with your reasons, the damage is done. Once trust is broken, it doesn’t just mend itself. It doesn’t matter now, since I don’t think I’m built for relationships anyway. Besides, we can’t focus on romance while the realm is in danger. Ruin’s army is at our door, and they’ll keep coming.”

Killian’s throat worked as he swallowed. “I’m not demanding you stand by me, but you’re my fated mate. It’s not in me or my dragon to watch you flirt with other men. He’ll go berserk. Claiming and protecting our mate runs in our blood. Let’s make a pact. I’ll give you space, commit only to you, and you give me a chance to make it right. You’re not facing this threat alone. I’ll always stand with you. All the kingdoms are aware of this threat from the God of Ruin. The crowns will meet tomorrow to discuss our response.”

My breath eased. “All the kingdoms will back this?”

“The heirs and I will ensure our kingdoms form a joint army against Ruin and his forces,” he said. “I’ll do anything to protect you.” His forehead pressed against mine. “No one can break me except you. Without you, I’m a broken man. I know you won’t have me after how I hurt you, but I’ll fight for you with everything I have.”

Something inside me cracked at his confession. My broken heart wouldn’t mend just because the truth was out. You couldn’t flip emotions like a switch. When I’d thought he’d used me then dumped me for his betrothed, it had cut too deep to heal.

I’d played this scene a hundred ways in my head when I’d imagined him admitting his regret for choosing another.

“I made a bad choice,” he’d say.

“Then live with it,” I’d answer. “Go back to your betrothed and her ward. They’re desperate for you.”

And if he walked away, my heart would bleed out all over again, but I’d leave him and his regrets in the dust while thunder would roll, sealing our tragic fates.

Fuck this shit, Sy had said. Stop playing that dumb shit in your head.

Now he had chosen me in my reality. But I couldn’t be with him, at least not yet, even after he’d declared I was his, even after he’d sworn to claim me publicly.

“Please stop,” I said. “I don’t need you to profess your undying love for me and confuse the hell out of me.”

He looked at me, pain and understanding blending in his storm-blue eyes.

“I can’t turn off my feelings for you,” he whispered. “But you do what you have to do, my little scorpion. I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he vowed. “Never.”