Page 16 of Horns of Wicked Ebony (Deathcaller Duet #2)

“That bag, the tattered, threadbare one…belonged to a male named Thast. I keep it as a reminder…” I trailed off, throat working.

Then, emitting a shuddering breath, I lifted my gaze to find my mate’s.

“Thast was the fourth in our group. Xannirin, Rapp, Thast, and I bunked together in Fured, and then again when we were assigned to a border outpost, every graduate’s first assignment.

While we were there, I finally earned the title of Vezet?.

My first route with the promotion happened to be the day after the new year. ”

My knee bounced under the table as the first wave of shame rose. I forced it to still, then forced myself to speak again.

“Of course, being young and ridiculously stupid, the four of us went out drinking the night before, despite our scheduled early departure for the wall. The entire unit was roaring drunk as we rode to the outpost, in fact. Our dulled senses allowed the Angels to attack. All but six of us died.” My grip on Assyria tightened, as if I could physically pin her in place should she attempt to reject me now.

“Oh, Rokath,” she whispered instead, squeezing back twice as hard. “No wonder you keep such strict rules.”

“That is part of it,” I admitted freely. A muscle feathered in my jaw as I tried to find the right words to convey what happened next. “The consequences are what solidified them.”

She nodded slowly, allowing me space to sort through it all. Her unwavering devotion was cleansing, like by baring my soul to her I was ridding myself of the centuries of dust caked to the memories.

“When the Kral and my father arrived, they were both furious. Never had I fucked up like that, and in the process nearly gotten Xannirin killed. The six survivors—Xannirin, Rapp, Thast, myself, and two others—knelt before them to beg for forgiveness. My father had a twisted version in mind. Only three of us could walk away from there, and since I was in charge, I had to be one of them, to live with my mistakes. My father offered me a choice: kill them myself using my powers and offer them a swift death, or allow him to do it as he saw fit. Had he…it would have been a slow, savage descent into the Reaper’s embrace for them. ”

Assyria’s lips pressed together, and two tears leaked from her eyes.

Her hands shook with how hard they held mine.

Without breaking our embrace, she rose and drifted around the table to stand in front of me.

With our size difference, we were nearly eye level.

I brought our joined fingers to my mouth and kissed her knuckles.

Then, I pulled her into my lap. She kneaded my shoulders, remaining quiet as I fought to contain my emotions.

“You don’t have to be strong for me, Rokath. I’m here to share your burdens, your pain,” she murmured. “I know what it’s like to be at the mercy of someone cruel.”

A choked sob escaped me before I brought my fist to my mouth to smother it. I gritted my teeth, trying to fight off the knife readying to flay me open. Not just for my pain, but hers. For what Vagach did to her all those years. Because of the changes I helped weave into society.

With a ragged exhale, I said, “I couldn’t kill Xannirin. The Kral saved me from that choice, along with Rapp, since he too had burgundy eyes. Which left Thast and the other two. He just let me do it .” My voice cracked, crumbled to pieces as the memory of his last words to me surfaced.

It’s okay, Rokath, he had said.

“He didn’t try to fight his fate, just accepted the Reaper was ready to take him. He didn’t cry out as I killed him. And when I had to Call his body…” a shudder wracked my frame, my temperature dropping even further, “and have him kill the other two, my father watched on with satisfaction.”

I gritted my teeth, and Assyria moved her ministrations to my jaw.

She worked for a few moments while I attempted to regain control.

“I’d vowed long before that to kill him.

After what he forced me to do, Xannirin and I were in agreement that the brothers needed to die.

With the rising threat of the Angels, they chose to slaughter three fully trained soldiers, and for what?

So my father could prove he still had power over me? ”

My hands balled into fists.

“It took decades to properly plan everything. The Kral and his two brothers had to perish together for Xannirin to inherit the throne. But we didn’t execute it until I’d worked my way up the ranks of the army.

After a particularly nasty skirmish along the wall, I’d had enough.

We were lacking in males to defend the Demons and the Angels were growing more fervent by the year.

Thankfully, Kiira was in agreement when I sat the two of them down and told them it was time.

She might have been a bastard, but she was no stranger to the brutality the three imposed. ”

“At least you had each other,” Assyria murmured, hands flattening over my chest. My heart beat into her palm, as if it knew that it was utterly safe in her care. As if it knew it belonged only to her.

“Aye. And Rapp too. He might not be of royal blood, but he helped us through it all,” I said. Already, I felt lighter, like by speaking the worst memories into existence, they could no longer fester on my soul.

“So the three of you killed them?” she clarified.

I shook my head. “Only I landed the killing blows, little imposter. By then, I was numb to the act. Xannirin hadn’t taken more than a handful of lives, and Kiira, well, I didn’t want to taint her.”

“You’ve always protected everyone, Rokath. Who ever protected you?”

I clenched my teeth, fighting off the spear of sorrow digging into my chest. Assyria had an uncanny ability to name my deepest desires and unveil the well of emotion that accompanied them. Air froze in my lungs as I forced the sob back down. “No one. I needed no one.”

Assyria shook her head. “You wanted no one because then you’d have to share this with them.

But I’m here now.” She cupped my cheek, and only when she swiped her thumb across it did I realize a salty tear had slipped out.

“Let me protect your emotions like you protect my body. Let me be your comfort when it all feels like too much. Lay your worries, your fears, your pain at my feet. We can shoulder this burden together.”

At that, I shattered. I snatched Assyria closer, banding my arms around her so our bodies melded together like the ores used to forge weapons.

Chest heaving, I buried my grief, my shame, my anger into her hair.

The scent of roses filled my nostrils, allowing me to fall deeper into the love she offered.

One that was unquestionable, unrelenting despite my revelations, and so pure I was still certain I didn’t deserve it.

Assyria poured raw empathy for what I was forced to endure down our bond.

Tumbling with it was how much she loved me for sharing those horrific moments with her.

My mate held no walls between what she felt and what she expressed.

Vulnerability was something that had been burned out of me centuries before, and yet with Assyria, it was safe to let my own crumble to ash.

“Thank you,” I managed to grind out. Straightening, I allowed her to see the gratitude written in my eyes—on my soul. For that was where she lived inside me.

Her dainty hands caressed and cleaned my face. “I love you, Rokath. Nothing will ever change that.”

I nodded, too exhausted to speak. I was raw, flayed open, and these weren’t feelings I particularly cared to experience.

Slowly, she eased out of my embrace and took my hands again. “Let’s sleep now.”

I let her direct me to our bed, blowing out candles along the way. When she crawled onto the mattress, I darkened the final hint of light, then joined her. Settling against my pillows, I said, “Come here.”

Without hesitation, she curled into my embrace, and I snaked my arms around her.

Her soft curves melted into the hard planes of my body as I wholly enveloped her.

My eyes closed, and she traced my tattoos.

“Thank you for telling me all of that,” she whispered into the darkness. “I know it wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t,” I admitted. Exhaustion tugged at every fiber of my being, and for once, sleep offered itself to me freely.

Perhaps it was Assyria in my arms, the highs and lows of the day, or fucking everything catching up to me, but when I crashed, I crashed hard, falling into the deepest slumber I’d had in years.