Page 51 of Horn in My Side

JASMINE

Post-vacation blues had always hit Jasmine hard, but never quite this way.

It had been more than a week since she and Mal came back from Bayview City, and yet she couldn’t stop thinking about their mini-break.

Overall, it had been amazing. She loved being in the city, seeing all the sights and going shopping and trying all the different kinds of food.

However, she was also glad to be back in Dewberry Falls, to her own apartment, the shop and the animals, and of course, Clawdia.

However, there was something bothering Jasmine, a notion she just couldn’t quite ignore, nor could she put a name to it. A kind of disquiet, like something was not right.

Jasmine opened the drawer under the register and picked up the Clawdia figurine that Mal had carved on their camping trip.

She’d gotten into the habit of rubbing it when she was feeling anxious or nervous.

Jasmine guessed she’d probably wear the entire thing away within a week if she didn’t resolve that suspicion lurking in her mind.

Mal was acting weird.

He’d seemed distracted, distant even, since they came back from their staycation.

Their last full day was busy and they went to more sights and ate all the food they wanted, yet she wasn’t entirely sure he was even there with her.

And when they returned to Dewberry Falls, it seemed to have gotten worse.

The sex was still off the charts, but out of the bedroom, there was a look behind his eyes, something that told her he wasn’t quite in the moment with her.

This morning when she left, he didn’t even walk her to work.

Sure, he had an early conference call, but usually he worked around it, whether that meant rescheduling or taking the call with his earphones on as they walked to the shop.

He’d also been on his phone a lot, which was unusual for him.

While Jasmine would have guessed that maybe he was texting with someone, she noticed that he would hold the device in his hand and tap at the same spot with his thumb, over and over again.

Maybe this was it. They were reaching the point where things were naturally fizzling out and Mal wanted to break up. Their six months was nearly up, and from the beginning, she’d always known that he’d be leaving in that time.

A weight pressed down on her chest, making it hard to breathe. Though she’d known this moment would come, it still hit her like a bucket of ice water to the face.

It’s all right , she told herself. You and Mal agreed to act like adults.

Then why didn’t he say anything? And why was he acting this way? Was it something she’d said or done?

Her mind wanted to dissect and examine all the events that led to this before coming to any conclusion.

If Mal really wanted to break up, he would have just done it.

He wouldn’t act like nothing was wrong on the outside, keep sleeping with her and spending time with her if he didn’t want to be with her anymore. What could she have done?

I did corner him about the girlfriend thing , she realized. But he seemed to have taken that in his stride and that was weeks ago. What else—

She slapped her hand on her forehead.

The argument about her father.

That had to have been it, where it all started.

But that was such a small thing, not even a real fight.

More like a minor tiff, really. She hadn’t meant to snap at him, but she hadn’t wanted to ruin their getaway by talking about it.

Lashing out at him for simply offering to help had been unwarranted and unnecessarily harsh.

That’s why he’d been acting weird.

I never said sorry, either.

It was her fault. Was it too late? Did she push him away because of one careless act?

Biting her lip, Jasmine put the Clawdia figurine down, pushed off the counter, then began to pace and plan how she could bring up the topic and apologize to Mal.

How could she make it better? Mal had always been a man of few words. He acted . From the beginning, he spoke with his actions. He fixed the sign. He made her that carcinos hatching tank. He gave her Clawdia and kept her safe.

How could I possibly top that?

Her gaze drew back to the wooden figurine and an idea popped into her head. Her hands shook with excitement as she grabbed the computer mouse. Opening up a browser window, she did a search for “apology gifts.”

Jasmine scrolled through the options. What kind of gift could possibly convey how she felt? That she was sorry about snapping at him, and she didn’t mean to push him away. The gift would have to be something thoughtful and personalized, like how he customized the tank to reflect the shop.

Clicking on the back arrow of the browser, she typed in a new query—“Personalized gifts.”

The results were much better, plus she had a lot more choices. However, one caught her eye. She clicked on the photo excitedly.

Perfect.

It had tons of customization options too. After a few minutes, she was done, except for that she needed an inscription on the base. What could she write? “I’m sorry” didn’t quite sound right. “I’m sorry for blowing my top when you brought up my father” had far too many characters.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him.

Like, how she liked spending time with him.

And that he made her feel safe and protected.

And that she liked that even though he could be a grump, he was never mean and she thought his grunts were adorable.

He was so kind too, especially when he dealt with kids.

And so dependable. He made her happy just by being around.

She loved the way his eyebrows drew together when he frowned, loved how he remembered her favorite dish at each restaurant.

She loved his laugh and his frown and . . .

Him.

Oh Mother Goddess.

She loved Mal.

Jasmine gasped out loud, then covered her mouth with her hands.

Why hadn’t she realized it before? She’d been keeping that wall up between them to prevent this exact thing from happening, but it was about as effective as trying to keep a baby basilisk from eating a vormynd egg.

No matter how many times she told herself that she wouldn’t, she’d fallen in love with him anyway.

A laugh bubbled in her chest.

I love him.

And Jasmine couldn’t wait to tell him.

But first, she had to finish this order. And now fully aware of her own feelings, she knew what she wanted to say.

After a few taps on the keyboard and a couple of mouse clicks, she finished ordering Mal’s gift. It would take around two weeks to get here. Maybe she could wait to tell him then, when she presented it to him. If she could manage to control herself.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

Jasmine dashed back to the counter and picked up the phone. “Fantastic Tails and Magical Scales, this is Jasmine speaking. How may I help you?”

“Greetings, Jasmine,” said the heavily accented female voice on the other end. “May I please speak with Mal of Urduk Horde?”

“I’m so sorry, he’s not in today.”

“I see. When do you expect him back?”

“Not until tomorrow, maybe? Would you like to leave a message? I can write down your number and he can call you back.”

“It’s rather urgent,” the caller emphasized. “But I suppose this would be the fastest way to communicate with him. All right, please do take a message for me.”

Jasmine grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper. “What’s your name?”

“Grok of Harvik Horde.”

“And what’s your message?”

“Please tell him that I would like to confirm he got our email since he hasn’t responded . . .”

She scribbled on the paper. “Yeah . . .”

“And that could he please reply as soon as possible if he wants to accept the job.”

“Uh-huh.” Scratch, scratch, scratch. “And which job is that specifically?”

“The new historical center.”

“The new—” Jasmine froze, the tip of the pencil stopping in the middle of writing the “w”. “I—excuse me? Did you say the historical center? The orc historical center?”

“Yes. Why? Has he bid on other historical centers?”

“No, no. None that I know of.” She bit her lip. “Uhm, okay, I’ll make sure he gets this message.”

“Thank you.”

Click.

Jasmine wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there with the phone against her ear, but the monotonous dial tone was still droning when she snapped to her senses. Her stomach clenched tight, and her chest contracted, preventing oxygen from reaching her lungs.

Mal got the job.

And apparently, he’d known about it for some time now, but hadn’t told her.

What happened to their promise to be honest with each other?

She gripped the edge of the counter, a wave of dizziness washing over her as the blood rushed to her ears at a breakneck pace.

Wait , she told herself. Don’t jump to conclusions. There had to be a good explanation for this. What if he’d missed that email and hadn’t known all this time?

Unlikely, considering how much he’d been on his phone this past week.

“Calm down,” she muttered. “There has to be—”

Ding ding dong!

Her head whipped to the door, but before she could greet the customer, her stomach swooped when she saw who it was.

Mal strode in, holding up a white to-go cup in his hand. “Had to take a break. Figured you could use a cup too.”

Jasmine’s throat dried up and she couldn’t speak, not that she had anything to say to him right now. She closed her eyes tight, unable to look at him.

“Jasmine? Are you okay?”

After a deep cleansing breath, she managed to speak. “Grok called.”

“Grok?”

“From the Historical Society.”

Recognition flashed across his face. “Did she say—”

“When were you going to tell me? Or were you going to even say anything?” That came out snippier than she wanted.

“Of course I was going to tell you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “When did you find out anyway?”

“I . . .” His throat bobbed. “I got the email while we were in Bayview.”

“When we were in Bayview?” How she hated the way her voice pitched high at the end of that sentence, but she couldn’t stop herself from continuing. “That was over a week ago. And you never said a word. I thought we agreed to be honest with each other, Mal?”

“I wasn’t lying to you.” He raked a hand through his mop of messy dark hair.

“It was a lie of omission, then.”

He let out a grunt. “Look, I didn’t know what to say, okay?

I mean, what was I supposed to do? That job means a lot to me.

To my family and our legacy. I didn’t think they’d choose me after all this time.

I’d honestly been preparing myself for the rejection, because of how disappointed I’d be if I didn’t win the bid. And then I got that email.”

The reality of the situation walloped her in the gut.

He was leaving.

Of course he was leaving. This was his big dream. The chance of a lifetime. To build his legacy, and that of his father.

“Mal, it’s fine.” Her heart twinged in pain. “Really it is.”

“Jasmine—”

“Remember what we said in the beginning? About being adults? We said we would see where this goes and now . . . it went.”

“That’s it?” His voice turned chilly. “You’re breaking up with me?”

She swallowed the emotion scratching at her throat. “Better to do it now before we . . .”

“Before we what?”

Jasmine pasted a smile on her face. “Before either of us got hurt.” Though on her part, that sadly was too late.

“What if I did stay, Jasmine?”

Hope fluttered in her, but she squashed it down. “Mal, this is your dream job. What you’ve been working for, for the past year. Don’t throw it all away.”

Not for me .

She didn’t want another man losing out on his hopes and dreams because of her, not when she could do something about it this time.

If Mal declined that job and stayed to be with her, he’d always regret what he’d missed out on. He’d resent her forever. It would always loom over their heads and frankly, despite loving him, she wouldn’t be able to be with him if that happened.

“You really want to end things?”

“That’s what we agreed to. You were never going to stay, even if you didn’t get the job.” It would be different if he’d lost the bid. But his dream was actually about to come true. It was here, served to him on a silver platter.

And she loved him too much to hold him back.

“That’s what we said, right? See where this goes, and at the end, we walk away from each other. That was the only guarantee we had. It was the only one I could give you.”

Taut silence filled the air between them until he spoke. “All right, if that’s what you want.” Turning on his heel, he quietly strolled out of the shop for the very last time.

Reality hit Jasmine as soon as the door slammed shut.

That hollow pain in her chest spread out, threatening to devour her.

She should have prepared herself more for this day because she always knew it was inevitable, the one guarantee she had offered Mal.

She just hadn’t thought it could hurt this much.

“You’re going to be okay,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. Heartbreak and starting over wasn’t new to her. She’d been doing just fine on her own before Mal came, and she’d be fine after he left.