Page 32 of Hope’s Enduring Echo

Jennie

Monday morning, Daddy scuffed into the kitchen earlier than usual and plopped into a chair. “Coffee,” he said on a sigh as wearily as if he’d trekked across a mountain to reach the chair.

Jennie exchanged a worried look with Mama, then poured a cup. She set it in front of him and gave his bony shoulder a rub. “Here you go, Daddy. Strong and hot, just the way you like it.”

He gripped the mug between his palms and lifted it to his lips. He blew on the surface of the brew, then noisily sucked in a sip. He braced his elbows on the table and sat with the cup under his chin, staring ahead without drinking or talking.

Jennie returned to the stove where Mama stirred the bubbling pot of Quaker Oats. “Mama?” She held her voice to a mere whisper even though it seemed Daddy was far inside himself, unaware. “Remember what Leo told us yesterday when he came by after the men put up the tent on the mountain?”

Mama shifted the pot to the edge of the stove’s surface, away from the hottest area. “He told us several things.”

Indeed he had, and Jennie had been happiest about his family coming to visit. He’d seemed so surprised and excited. Might this reunion be the answer to her prayer for Leo’s father to be at peace with Leo’s choice of profession? She hoped so. But one other thing he’d said had played through her mind during the night. Seeing Daddy’s condition this morning made her certain the decision she’d reached was the right one. Now to get Mama to agree.

“What he said about the magazine article and my drawings maybe being published.” She hugged herself, reining in a delighted shiver. “Remember? He said I could be paid for the sketches.”

Mama spooned gloppy oatmeal dotted with raisins into bowls. “I remember.”

“Well, I want to—”

Mama whirled on Jennie, her expression fierce. “No.”

Jennie drew back. “But I haven’t said what I—”

“No!” Although whispered, the denial was sharp and cutting. “If any money comes from the magazine, it will be yours, Jennie Henrietta Ward. You will deposit it in the bank for college or whatever else you decide to do with it when you’re finished with school in Canon City.”

Mama had guessed. Which meant she had also thought about using the money to send Daddy to Pueblo. Jennie curled her hand around Mama’s arm and leaned closer. “More than anything else, I want Daddy to get better. I know you do, too. It’s like God is making the way for us to get him the help he needs. Will you tell God no?”

Mama blinked several times, her lips pursed so tightly they nearly disappeared. She shook her head. “Of course I won’t tell God no. But I’m telling you no. You’ve already given enough of yourself to help your daddy. God knows it as well as I do, and He wouldn’t expect you to pay for his treatment.”

“But—”

“No! I won’t hear one more word of it.” Mama plunked a bowl of hot cereal into Jennie’s hands. “Grab a spoon and eat before this gets as cold, hard, and dry as those bones on the ridge.”

Jennie did as she was told, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what she might be paid for her sketches. Would it be enough to buy train tickets and pay the bill for an evaluation and treatment?

When they finished eating, Mama took Jennie aside. “Your daddy’s really low. I don’t feel good about leaving him by himself today. Would you stay here while I inspect the front half of the pipe?”

Midway through breakfast, he’d gotten up and wandered to his usual window-watching chair, leaving his cereal untouched. The sadness emanating from him stabbed Jennie’s soul. “Sure, Mama. Or if you want to stay, I’ll walk the route today.”

Mama shook her head. “I need to go out so I don’t lose my momentum. If you don’t mind, though, I’ll let you inspect the back half and I’ll stay with him with this afternoon. You can still meet Leo and go up to the excavation site if you want to.”

Jennie wanted to go with Leo. The summer was more than half gone. He’d leave in a few weeks, and she didn’t want to waste an opportunity to spend time with him. She looked over at Daddy’s still figure on his chair. At the tufts of gray hair sticking up on the back of his head, his wrinkled nightshirt and bare feet. Such a sorry sight. A fear swooped in that she might not have much more time with Daddy, either, if he didn’t get better. He seemed to be withering away.

She turned to Mama. “I’ll inspect the back half for you, but then I’ll come home.”

Mama gave Jennie a hug. “All right. I’ll see you at noon. Have a good morning.”

Jennie fetched Rags from the shed. His enthusiastic greeting made her laugh. She hoped he’d have the same effect on Daddy. She brought him inside, then tidied the breakfast mess and mixed a batch of dough for their week’s bread. While the dough rose, she sat at the table with her drawing materials and sketched a couple of the small bones she and Leo had found. Daddy got up twice—to visit the outhouse and to go to his bedroom. When he emerged from his room fully dressed from shirt to shoes, Jennie asked if he’d like her to comb his hair. She didn’t say so, but it needed it. He went to his chair without a word and stared outward.

Rags lay on the floor beside his feet, and Jennie hoped Daddy might lower his hand from the windowsill and give the dog a few scratches, but he didn’t. When the clock’s hands pointed to eleven, she crossed to his chair and stepped into his line of vision.

“Daddy, would you like to take your chair out on the lawn?” She glanced out the window. The cloud cover was thick, but a few sunbeams might sneak through. “You can throw the rope for Rags and give him some exercise while I fix our lunch.” She waited, but he didn’t look up. She laid her hand on his shoulder. “Mama’ll be back soon. She’ll be ready for our picnic when she gets here.”

Daddy let out a tiny sigh. “I’m fine right here.”

Although it heartened her that he responded, she wished he’d go outdoors. He might not have the chance tomorrow. Dark clouds were building over the mountains, and they could bring a full day of rain. “Are you sure? Mama will worry if she doesn’t see you when she comes home.”

Daddy shrugged her hand loose. “Leave me be, Jennie.”

Jennie went back to the table.

At noon, when Mama came trudging up the rise, Jennie had the quilt spread out in the yard and a pitcher of water, sandwiches, and cookies ready. Mama sank down and drank a full glass of water. She sent a peek in the direction of the house. “How was your daddy?”

Jennie wished she could say he was cheerful and active, but she answered truthfully. “Quiet. He got himself dressed, but he’s sat in his chair all morning. He wouldn’t even come out with Rags.”

Mama patted Jennie’s knee. “Well, maybe the afternoon will be better.”

Jennie held her bitter opinion on the likelihood of Mama’s maybe and ate lunch. This picnic wasn’t nearly as pleasant as last week’s, and not only because Daddy didn’t join them. Gusting wind tore at the quilt and toppled Jennie’s water glass. Two cookies went rolling, which Rags gobbled before Jennie could rescue them.

Mama sent a worried look skyward. “Looks like we’re going to get some rain. Be sure to wear your daddy’s hat to keep your head dry.”

Jennie laughed. “Mama, one of those gusts would send Daddy’s hat across the river. I’ll be all right.” Mama pinched her lips in an uncertain scowl, but she didn’t argue.

When they were finished eating, Jennie gave Mama a hug and set off for the afternoon inspection. She tried to stay focused on the pipeline, but her thoughts kept drifting back home to Mama and Daddy. Had Mama been able to coax Daddy to comb his hair? To eat? To talk? By the time Leo joined her at their usual spot by the pipe, her worries had grown into a tangled, aching mass in her midsection.

Leo took one look at her and asked, “What’s the matter?”

Jennie threw her arms wide. “Everything.”

He climbed up on the pipe and sat, then patted the spot beside him. “Tell me.”

She straddled the pipe, facing him, and shared it all—Daddy’s continuing plummet into a sadness that seemed to have no end, Mama’s refusal to let Jennie use any money she might receive to help pay for treatment, even her worries about moving to Canon City for school and leaving Mama and Daddy alone. “Mama had me stay with him this morning instead of walking the route with her. She didn’t go out on her own to prove to herself she could—she was scared to leave Daddy alone. But she’ll have to leave him by himself when I’m not here to help anymore.”

She blew out a breath of frustration. “I keep praying and praying. I know Mama does, too. But Daddy…” She looked into Leo’s compassionate eyes and swallowed the desire to dissolve into weeping. “Nothing gets better. Are you sure God is listening?”

Leo reached out and placed his hand over her clenched fists. “He is. Even when it doesn’t feel like He is, He is.”

The warmth of his palm was a soothing balm, especially when compared to the cooling wind whooshing across the river and peppering her with little water droplets. They should get up and moving before the weather got worse. But questions still writhed within her. “How do you know?”

“Because the Bible says so.” The confidence in his tone made Jennie’s heart flutter with hope. “Yesterday in church, the minister shared from Psalm 34. When you get home, look it up and read it for yourself. The psalmist cried out the same way you are right now. God encouraged him to ‘hearken’ unto Him—to listen and learn from Him. And God rescued Him from his troubles. God is rescuing you, too, Jennie.”

She gaped at him. “No He isn’t.” The wind blew her braid over her shoulder. It slapped against her cheek and she winced. She caught the tip and held tight. “I already told you. Nothing’s getting better.”

A soft smile lit his face. “But it is.”

She drew back. “How?”

The tenderness in his expression stole her ability to breathe for a moment. “In you, Jennie. He’s changing you. I’ve seen you exercise patience and kindness during trying times with your daddy. I’ve watched hope unfold in you. It’s been a beautiful thing to watch.”

The tears she’d been holding back flooded her eyes and spilled. She couldn’t stop them. His sweet affirmation touched her deeply and washed over her a wave of gratitude. But at the same time…She sniffled and admitted in a croaky voice, “But I want Daddy to change.”

Leo offered a sympathetic smile. “I know. I do, too. But God isn’t finished with him yet. As long as he has breath, there’s hope. Rest assured, God hears your cries, Jennie. He will answer in His perfect time in the way that’s best for all of you.”

Jennie wiped her eyes with her sleeve and stood. Hands on her hips, wisps of hair tickling her cheeks, she forced a grin. “Well, thank you for the sermon. I needed it.” Then she stared past Leo, envisioning Daddy behind the cabin window. “When I’m done with the route, maybe you can deliver it to Daddy. See if it does him any good.”

Leo stood and lightly grazed her upper arm with his fingers. “There’s a powerful hold on your daddy right now, but there’s no power stronger than God the Father’s. Before we start off again, how about we pray together for him? Will that help you feel better?”

She grabbed his hand and clung as tightly as she would to a rescue line if she were drowning. “Yes. Please.”

Leo thanked God for always being with them. He asked God to heal Daddy’s mind and strengthen his body. He thanked Him again for working all things for good in their lives and expressed confidence that He was in control. When he thanked God for holding Jennie close and growing her faith through trials, she squeezed his hand in a silent thank-you.

“And now, dear Lord,” he said as the wind howled and Jennie braced herself against its force, “lead us safely onward. Amen.”

They opened their eyes and their gazes collided. Leo gave her a smile, one eyebrow high. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yes.” She scanned the gray clouds cloaking the landscape. “But the wind’s really picking up, and those clouds are getting uglier by the minute.”

He tightened the strings on his hat. “You’re right. Let’s finish the route as quickly as possible and get you home.”