Page 54 of Honey Bun
The doors closed. We weren’t alone, so I fixed my tie and waited till we were at the bottom. Once the others had left and we headed onto the street, I asked, “Instead of going home, I was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date.”
She tilted her head and looked at me sympathetically like I was a teenage boy used to getting rejected. “No. I’d rather for us to go back to your apartment where we can be… alone.”
I had no instructions or how-to guide for giving Maddie space and winning her heart, but I would devour any clues she could give me. And being alone with her was fun, but we probably wouldn’t talk much. We needed more togetherness without rushing into intimacy.
We walked toward the park, and I glanced at the horse-drawn carriages. For a second, I wanted to impress her and take her on a date despite her objections. Instead, I said, “We’re taking it day by day, but dinner isn’t a lifelong commitment.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know.”
At least it wasn’t a complete rejection. I placed my hand on her lower back and thought about sitting and laughing like we used to do. “We don’t get a lot of one-on-one time, and I want to talk.”
She took my hand and tugged me toward our building. “We can do both.”
Heat started rushing through me. I wasn’t used to hearing no. All my life, everyone had said yes. I walked with her. “Maddie, we… I… am not just a one-trick pony for you.”
Her brow furrowed, and she looked upset. “Of course not. I thought you wanted me.”
And my anger evaporated. I would never hurt her. But I wanted more than sex. We walked to my apartment, and the moment the door closed, I said, “Let’s relax. What do you want to eat?”
She curved her hands around my shoulders. “Later… I want this.” She pressed her lips against mine and kissed me.
She was hot, delicious, and mine, but I wondered if she was becoming addicted to sex. Or maybe she was just addicted to me. I tasted her as she unbuttoned my shirt. Then she lowered herself, placing small kisses on my exposed skin.
She’d grown bold since the first time we’d made love, but I wasn’t sure that was what she thought we were doing. She unbuckled my pants, and my body grew warm.Fuck.
She knew how to rev me up. I was hard. She licked my dick and kissed the tip. I grew harder. Then she sucked me inside her mouth. I wanted to explode inside her, but I knew this wasn’t the way to her heart.
My muscles tensed, but I tugged my cock out. “I… stop.”
Maddie sucked on her bottom lip as she went to stand. “Was I doing it wrong?”
If only it were that simple.I caressed her cheek, wishing we were on the same page. “No, it was good, but I can’t do this.”
“Why? I mean… you were getting hard.”
I was pretty sure it was the first time she’d ever discussed sex, but that wasn’t how I wanted to be with her. I didn’t want to hear her start talking dirty yet, because there was a gaping hole in my heart. I squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring the pulsing in my veins that screamed for me to take her. “I mean… I can’t just have sex with you. I love you, and I can’t pretend I don’t.”
Tears formed in her eyes. She glanced out the window, and her cheeks grew wet. Then she gazed back at me. “I don’t know what to do to please you, Arman. You’re almost as important to me as my daughter.”
She loved Aurora. I hoped she loved me too. I hugged her. “Don’t cry, Maddie.”
She curled into me, and I held her. It was nice and almost felt like she loved me. I kissed her cheek, and she trembled. Then I claimed her lips, and she held me. I picked her up with an arm under her knees while kissing her and brought her to bed. If she wanted me, I would do anything for her.
As I laid her down, I unbuttoned her shirt. She tugged it off, along with her bra, and then let me suck her nipples. She tasted sweet. I removed her pants and panties then my own. She felt like she was ready.
I grabbed a condom and pushed inside her warm center. I felt like I’d found my other half. I set the pace, and her eyes rolled back. Lost in her orgasm, she didn’t say much as I sped up. Her reddened face urged me on, and I found my release as well.
As I collapsed onto the bed beside her, I wasn’t sure if my ears heard or I just imagined Maddie whisper, “I love you.”
I hoped it was real, but I didn’t ask. If I’d made it up, then I was heading for a major fall.
Maddie
I’d whispered the truth. I hoped Arman hadn’t heard me. The last person I would ever hurt was him. But I couldn’t promise more if I knew for sure that I was incapable of giving him what he needed.
My heart raced, which woke me up fast, though he still dozed. I sat up. I had to do something nice for him. I needed to apologize. In trying to keep my feelings out of our relationship, it was clear as sunshine on a sunny day that I’d hurt him. I’d never intended to break his heart while protecting my own.
As Aurora and Roxanne had plans, we had plenty of time. I tossed his T-shirt on and walked barefoot through the penthouse as day faded to night in a pretty red color.