Page 14

Gunpowder and Lead

“S ugarplum?”

I raise a brow at Wolfie before glaring at Seer when she cracks up in her seat. She’s never seen me keep a bedmate more than the time to hit the sheets, so the boys scarfing down to breakfast with us at the counter is more than unusual. They have no intention of buggering off soon, and the nicknames are making her lose her mind. Neither of my Steamy Dreamy Panini members seems to notice her mirth.

“Yes, Wolfie?” His bright grin makes my insides melt and I feel bad for letting my friend’s amusement color my attitude towards him. Neither of them has been anything but adorably saucy throughout the meal, and my self-conscious idiocy doesn’t mean that I can be a twat to them.

“Prez and I have been thinking since you talked about that night you felt like someone was watching your house.” The vet hesitates, looking at his cohort for help.

Uh-oh. I sense a ganging up about to happen, and it’s not the yummy one involving my giant bed.

Presley sighs, pushing the skater cut out of his eyes. “What Lucy is failing to communicate is we’re worried your house is on the edge of the populated part of town. We don’t think getting a Ring camera is enough, even with your companions.”

Saoirse frowns at them, her brows furrowing. “Y’said there hasn’t been actual crime in donkey’s years before. Why the feck should she be worried? Don’t ye have peelers here?”

I chuckle as they glance at each other in confusion. “Yes, we have a small police force, Seer. They’re useless—or they used to be.”

Wolfie shrugs. “Detective Santos is new. He transferred into the Hollow from the city a month ago. He spends a lot of time being run around by the founding families.”

Translation: this new guy is owned by the rich folks in town and I will not get a lick of help if I have someone stalking me.

“That’s shite!”

Presley nods, sipping his herbal tea. He insisted on going through the cabinets until he could make a ‘proper’ tea, which endeared him to Seer. Wolfie is downing coffee and eyeing my energy drink. These guys don’t know me well enough yet to realize how fast I metabolize caffeine, so I don’t blame him.

“It is, Saoirse. And I worry about magpie being here with no one close enough to arrive.”

Wolfie clears his throat. “What if the person does break in? If the animals get immobilized, she’d be at their mercy.”

Saoirse blinks, then lets out a booming laugh that echoes off the kitchen marble. She laughs so hard that tears stream down her face, and the boys give me quizzical looks as she clutches her sides. My lips quirk, waiting for her to expound. I’ve never been one to brag.

“Aye, Peanut. Is your stash in bits or have ye set it up like usual?”

I shake my head. “I want to clean out the basement and set it up there. I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

“Grand. Normal cabinet in the drawing, then?”

Nodding, I press my lips together to keep from smiling as I clear the dishes. The boys help me get everything into the dishwasher and they wipe the counter down while my friend disappears. When she returns, she’s carrying a large bag on her shoulder.

“C’mere to me, boys. I need you to gather those soda cartons and take them out to the back fence. Put one can on each pole and don’t open them. It won’t make a bloody difference.”

“Seer, that’s wasteful!”

“I’ll buy you new ones when we go out to get the messages, Peanut. I’ve a mind for you to show them the Peanut I remember from our travels. I’ll bet they don’t even realize why you moved back to this Carson McCullers fever dream.”

Dr. McNuggies—sweet baby Jesus, I need to think of a better nickname for him—arches a brow at me, and little Wolfie walks over to pick up the two twelve packs of pop. I sigh, waving my hand at them to show they should do as she instructed. When they head out the back door, followed by Jekyll and Hyde, I turn to my friend.

“ Seer !”

Her grin is evil. “What, Peanut?”

“I came back semi-undercover! I have to show them what I can do because you opened your big mouth.”

“Well, yer men there were gettin’ worried about ye, and they need to learn who they’re cozyin’ up to. Give it a lash and see what happens. If they’re keepers, they’ll think it’s grand.”

Rolling my eyes at her, I stomp my foot. “I wasn’t planning to hide my skills as much as not scare them away on day one, Seer.”

Cackling, she shrugs. “Looks like you’re goin’ through door number two, Peanut.”

“Ugh!” I growl at her. “Go out there and check on them while I find a hair tie. I can’t do this with hair in my face.”

A mock salute is her answer, and I make a face at her back as she skips out the backdoor like a drunken fairy. If I didn’t love that girl like my sister, I’d wring her Irish neck. I walk over to my messenger bag, pulling out a scrunchie and my sunglasses. I won’t be able to wear them during the demo, but I’ll be able to scope out the landscape. That will help in the bright morning sunlight.

I walk outside, looking at the boys, cats, and my friend setting up the cans on the fence. It’s about a thousand feet from the porch and that’s not a hard ask at all. I could be a lot more impressive if Seer made me show off. Our three-month stay in Belfast was a whirlwind of jobs, but we shacked up with every eejit with a bad boy past—hence the training that would one day mean I’d ace parts of Quantico’s courses with my eyes closed. I may have grown up in the country, but there’s always been an odd lack of the ‘good old boy’ gun fueled orgy that the South has become in the Hollow.

The boys of Belfast made it their mission to teach me the trade. I was shitty for a long time. It took hours and hours of practice in various locations, conditions, and situations before I found my center. The first time I hit a target, I did a booty dance of joy and they laughed until they cried. Americans who don’t know a fucking thing about guns are a novelty, I guess.

Euryale swoops down, perching on the smoker. I tilt my head, looking at the bird. I don’t have a clue whether this will scare the shit out of it or not.

“Okay, my dude. I’m going to do this because Seer made a big deal and there’s gonna be a lot of loud noise and some muzzle flash. Don’t lose your shit on me, okay? I won’t aim at you. I promise.”

The giant bird lets out a screech that I take as an assent, and I pull a side table over from the patio set. I take less than a minute to unpack the bag Seer left for me, assembling the pieces without even thinking about it. The boys taught me that as well, stating I needed to learn the damned thing like I know putting on my shoes.

It could be the difference between living and dying. I asked what war they were drafting me into, and they shrugged. Two women traveling alone should be able to defend themselves, was the only answer I got.

As if Seer and I were going to need to use a goddamned Macmillan Tac 50-A1-R2 while gadding about Europe and Asia. I mean, customs alone would be a nightmare. I had to have this baby and the.50 BMG cartridges shipped home on a private plane by a friend with high security clearance.

I check the bipod for stability, ensuring that my roost will be sufficient. Loading the ammo, I frown at the ground. Too hard, and it will be distracting. I walk over to a chair and pull a cushion off, settling it in front of my makeshift stand. That should do it.

Once I’m settled, I position myself in front of the Schmidt and Bender scope, slowing my breathing as I study the cans. Seer ushered the guys and the cats away from my field of fire once they finished. She’s seen me do this a bazillion times, and she knows not to have collateral downrange. A shift in wind could cause a tragedy. The docs are peering at me from under their hands, looking confused. The scope is powerful enough that I can see the wrinkles of worry at the corners of Wolfie’s eyes.

With a final breath, I let go of everything around me, only seeing the rifle and my targets. Nothing around me registers as I slip into the singular focus of the task I’m about to complete. There are no mysteries, no companions, no asshat Edgar… only 24 cans and 24 bullets. I lick a finger and raise it, considering the light breeze for directionality. Recalculating in my mind for shear, I continue breathing, my heart rate slowing as I go into the trance that true long shots slip into when they’re in the zone.

When I’m ready, my finger squeezes the trigger without a thought, rapidly adjusting one after another until I’ve fired 24 times. I’m still for a moment after, my mind calm and focused. Then I hear a loud whooping down range, followed by two ‘ mows ’ and a holler that is likely Seer. I stand, clicking the safety on before I walk towards the sound.

I’m still zombified—it takes time to get out of that headspace and be a normal human again.

Walking up to the group, I see Presley kicking the cans on the ground, the rattle of shells clanking against aluminum. His head turns as I approach, and I can see he’s impressed. I didn’t miss a single can, and the holes are dead center. The time I spent obsessing over improving my skills is terrifying and I’ve been doing it for years.

“Sugarplum! Where in the name of Paula Deen did you learn to do that ?”

Saoirse clutches her guts as she laughs, waving her hand at me to tell the story. I sigh, giving McBaby Vet a small grin. “Seer and I spent three months on a project in Ireland for a client we can’t discuss. We stayed in Dublin and Belfast—they’re only two hours apart on the M1. Being the butterflies we were, we made… friends in Belfast. These friends decided I should learn how to defend myself sniper-style. I never got why, because starting with a handgun would have been a lot easier, but we didn’t argue. I’ve been sharpening my skills ever since.”

Presley arches a brow, looking as if he’s filing that information away for later. He doesn’t vocalize his thoughts, though. Instead, he winks. “Well, magpie, I suppose if you need to take a target from a distance, you’re covered, but what if it’s close combat?”

“Bloody hell, Peanut. Tell the boys you spent the last couple years training for the F.B.I. interview an’ be done with it! I’ve seen ye gut a back-alley pox when he tried actin’ the maggot. Ye can protect yer own arse.”

Both sets of eyes widen, and I frown.

Is this the secret that ruins my Dreamy Steamy melt?

“That puts my heart at ease, sugarplum. I worried that livin’ this far off the town was going to be dangerous for you. I’ve never heard of people sensing they’re being watched like you described—not here in the Hollow, at least.”

Dr. McNuggies nods his agreement, and I let out a long sigh of relief. I don’t understand why I was worried that two guys I met this week would abandon me over my badass side, but I can’t describe the weight their acceptance took off my shoulders. I try to pin down the source of that disquiet inside, but all I find is my psyche re-adjusting to post-shot brain functions.

“I’ll still set up a system. I’d like to catch the asshole in question snooping about and have a friendly conversation about why the hell he or she is trying to give me a coronary. Maybe I’ll let Euryale do the restraints. Looks like my eagle friend could hold on tight.”

“And break the bones, but who’s worried?” Presley winks, walking over to press a kiss to my temple.

I flush as Wolfie follows, tucking me against his side. “Sugarplum, I think we should leave this as a warning for the moment. We’ll go in and put your big ass gun in its place, and then Prez and I will go home to give you two time to catch up.”

Saoirse claps her hands with glee, but something in my chest aches a bit. Not wanting to sound like a clingy weirdo, I nod. “She can help me with the basement. It would be better if I can move the weapon storage to a more appropriate place. The living room is not my preferred location.”

“Right,” Presley says, taking my hand to tug us along. “We’ll come back after we do our stuff and the four of us can have dinner at Bottles ‘N Cans tonight.”

I frown, tilting my head. “Not to sound dumb, Dr. McSteamy, but Bottles ‘N Cans is a liquor store. Are we eating beer nuts as a meal?”

Wolfie grins, his sky-blue eyes dancing. “Oooh, Prez, she doesn’t know . This is gonna be great .”

Seer crosses her arms over her chest, giving them both a reproachful stare. “Oi, boys. S’not nice to tease Peanut. Even if she has the best bloody pouts on the planet.”

My eyes narrow at my bestie, and then at my lovers. “Listen up, you eejits. I’ll not have you tag-teaming against me; got it?”

The boys laugh, and Seer bobs her brows.

This does not bode well.

* * *

Wiping the sweat off of my brow, I grin at the work Seer and I completed.

Together, we cleared the basement of junk, creating a pile in one corner that is headed for Gene’s donation bins. Next to it are bins full of things I want to go through later to see if there are clues to my current predicament or to my parents’ secret shit. I didn’t tell her why those things got segregated because I’m not ready to share all my findings with her just yet. I trust her with my life, but I also don’t want to bring her into something dangerous.

I prepped the other half of the sizable area for the safety cabinet I ordered online. I use multiple sources to find the equipment to store my weapons and, for the moment, everything was organized by type and locked up while I wait for the delivery.

I’m not a crazy weapons person, but I did train for a career that required proficiency, and during that time, I picked up my personal armory. Serious people never want to use other people’s gear because it’s not made to fit your quirks and body type. I have specialty items that are custom made for my size and strength.

That’s common sense, and despite moving to a safe area, I’m not getting rid of my babies.

“ Mow !”

I peek at the stairs, chuckling under my breath. “We are close to dinnertime.”

“Mrrrp?”

“Aye, lad and lassie. We’re comin’. Keep yer britches up!” Seer grouses as she lugs one more lockbox to the pile. “I suppose we have to feed them, an’ then we’ll go get to the nines.”

Wrinkling my nose, I nod, waiting for her to join me before I flick off the lights. I follow her up the stairs, muttering, “ I suppose so .”

Her tinkling laugh mocks me as she heads for the kitchen. “Don’t sound so overjoyed, Peanut. I might not think ye like your little tea biscuits.”

* * *

“Seeeeeeer!” I whine, tilting my head back into her hands as she continues to rat my hair in a way that feels like I’m being scalped. “Is all of this really necessary?” Another yank is my answer and I frown at the mirror like a petulant child.

“Wind yer neck in, Peanut. I haven’t gotten to do this in a dog’s age.”

I sigh, knowing she’s right. If we’re going out on the town on Saturday night in the Hollow, I gotta seem like I tried with my appearance. People will be watching. I don’t know what the hell secret this stupid liquor store holds, but the way the boys lit tells me it’s a big deal. My eyes drift back up, watching my BFF tease my curled hair into a half-updo. She’s giving it volume commensurate with a small Southern town, I suppose, even if I don't look a goddamned thing like myself.

“Do we have to beat my face, too?” Seer gives me a face that is dripping with sarcasm. Guess that’s a ‘yes’.

To her credit, she’s primped and ready to rock. My cosmopolitan friend is going to raise over one brow in her tiny satin shorts with dragons embroidered on them, a cropped purple corset, and ankle length black mesh duster. She’s paired it with thick soled, heavily buckled rave boots in bright iridescent patent leather that have fairy wings on the back, rainbow eyeshadow, winged liner, and her fiery hair is teased into a fat Viking braid with the sides in smaller braids that connect to it.

She looks fierce and otherworldly, which is sure to draw attention.

“Stop being self-conscious.” She raps me on the head with her brush, grinning at me in the mirror. “I’ve had as much trauma in my past about being a two-by-four with limbs as you have with being a curvy goddess.”

Chuckling, I twist my lips. “You got me. This place brings it all back. I mean, somehow I’ve found sexy ass men who want me, and I still worry about what all the busybodies and mean girls will say.”

Saoirse walks in front of me, leaning against the sink as she works on my eyes. “Memories are blessings and curses, Peanut. We have a helluva lot of good ones, but without the bad, you can’t appreciate the best stuff. Our past shapes our present and future, and everything you’ve done until now led you to this moment.”

“Aren’t you a fuckin’ fortune cookie tonight? I shouldn’t have let you do a bourbon tasting flight before we ate. Saoirse the Wise always comes out when you drink brown booze.”

“Too bloody right. Now, while I finish this, tell me: playsuit or dress?”

I frown at her. “I didn’t buy ‘going out’ clothes for home yet. I have very European stuff, which may work for you, but it’s the wrong impression for the Hollow if I want these people to accept me. I also have day-to-day grubby stuff, workout clothes, and a bunch of work-ish clothes I bought for school. That’s it.”

“Aren’t ye lucky yer personal seamstress blew into town, then? I brought a thing or ten. Now, playsuit or dress?”

My eyes widen with fear. Seer knows every inch of me, and whatever she created will be amazing, but I hate to imagine what she thinks is appropriate for a town like mine. “Um…” I fish for an answer, trying to work out what I should do. “Well, playsuits are bathroom unfriendly. So, how about the dress?”

Her smile widens into a beam, and my chest tightens. This is going to be a disaster. “Grand, Peanut.” She goes back to my face, humming under her breath as she picks up another palette. “I’ll just adjust this color and we’ll be ready soon.”

Oh, goody.

* * *

Pulling up to Main Street, I peer over at Seer. She’s goggling at the business names as she holds Jekyll and Hyde on her lap. The terror twins turn to me as I slide into a parking space. I can’t help but laugh as I shake my head. While I got my clothes on, Seer accepted my Amazon delivery and my companions are now wearing cat sunglasses and spiked collars. They seem to like them, though, so I guess I can’t complain.

I’ve officially become a crazy cat woman.

A loud honk followed by a screech and thump on the roof of my car jars me out of my thoughts. Speaking of crazy, there’s my other stalker making its presence known. “Watch the Paint, Eury !”

Seer laughs, squeezing the cats in her lap as they squirm. They can’t wait to be free, and the eagle flying behind us must irk them. “Aye, Peanut. Your bloody menagerie is feckin’ impatient.”

“They are,” I grumble. “Hopefully, the boys are less troublesome.” I grab my messenger bag, whistle for Jekyll and Hyde, and climb out of the Impala. It’s night, so I don’t have my glasses on, but the small-town twinkles in the moonlight like a Hallmark special.

“Or not, because I could get behind a bloody rager. It’s been forever since?—”

“We do not talk about Thailand in front of the guys or in public, Saoirse Viola O’Flanagan!”

Pouting, she strides ahead of me, tossing her thick braid over her shoulder. “You aren’t a genteel petal, Peanut; don’t let this place make ye pull a beamer.”

I whisper to the cat on either side of me, “I think after banging three dudes in the first week I’m back, I have nothing left to worry about. What do you think?”

“ Mow !” they reply, looking like punk rock kitties in the cat aviators they won’t allow anyone to remove.

“Agreed,” I murmur as we approach the door. Euryale swoops down, hovering behind Jekyll and Hyde as we wait for what appears to be a bouncer at the door to check Seer’s passport.

What the fuck is a liquor store doing with a bouncer at the door?

The beefy dude takes one glimpse of Seer, then me, and then the animals following me. Grunting, he arches his brow. “Not from around here, huh?”

I squint at him, trying to figure out why something about him is making my skin tight. “I just moved back. She’s an old friend from out of town. Are quizzes part of your job?”

Blinking at me for a moment, the guy pauses, then lets out a booming laugh that rattles the windows next to us. “ Jolene Whitley !”

“Oi! Not chopped soddin’ liver,” Seer grumbles, cocking out her hip. “Part of the Peanut entourage, that’s me.”

“I-I’m sorry. I don’t remember you,” I confess, giving the beaming bear of a man a sheepish smile.

“Well, of course not ! I hadn’t grown into my skin yet!” He laughs again, turning to holler behind him. “ Boone ! Jolene’s here!”

My eyes widen at Seer. “Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no no…”

Cackling, she pats Jekyll and Hyde on their heads to l reassure them. “Stop making sounds like a bloody Tikky Tok. Just because you haven’t ironed out your differences doesn’t mean he’s going to make a—” My friend stops talking—a minor miracle—when Edgar arrives to stand behind mystery mountain man. Her voice is a wisp of air as she mutters, “Holy feckin’ dildo gnomes.”

Turning bright red, I put my hands on my hips. “Teddy, I don’t know who this monster is, but I’m supposed to meet people inside. Can you get him to let me buy a vowel so I can go in?”

His perfect teeth shine as he grins, the fresh stubble on his chin enticing as hell. “Well, Tilly, I don’t know about that. You’ve been avoiding me. Can’t say as I’m inclined to do you a favor.”

Euryale saves the day by swooping past, beelining for the boys since they’re the only people it knows. I smirk, tilting my head. “Pretty soon you’ll be obsolete, Teddy. Is that… familiar ?”

The giant guffaws again, slapping my childhood—and current—nemesis on the back. “She’s a fiery one now. You’re right, Boone—she grew up and got saucy.”

Looking bored, I study my nails. I realize the only way to deal with dick waving like this is to pretend that I’m not affected in the slightest. Men are the same whether they’re dictators, CEOs, bouncers, or hobos—they just want to swing their dicks around and have a woman coo. Not this girl, no matter how fucking hot Teddy looks or how built like a brick shithouse this dude is.

When I decide I’ve waited long enough to make them uncomfortable, I tilt my head and give them a disinterested expression. “Since you boys had your fun, does anyone want to tell me who the goat fucking hell he is?”

“Tilly, I’m surprised you don’t recognize Benjy. He owns this little slice of Heaven that we call the Speakeasy.”

Seer cocks a brow at me as I goggle at the gargantuan in front of me. Despite being on the football team and one of the elite, Benjy was the scrawniest little asshole in our class. He was the kicker—of course—and no amount of training they did when we were in school seemed to put any weight on him. He’s now one of the biggest dudes I’ve ever seen.

“I’m gonna assume the steroids were kind?” I ask, giving them both a smirk.

Teddy barks a laugh and Benjy snorts. Before they can respond, though, my darling doc club sandwich approaches. Euryale perches on Dr. McNuggies’ shoulder, and I worry that its weight is more than he can manage. He seems not to care, and little Wolfie is vibrating with excitement as he walks up behind him. I beam at them, grateful for the rescue from the terror twins.

“Sugarplum!” Wolfie grabs me by the waist, lifting me to swing me around. “Look at you all fancy-like.”

“Yer welcome, puppy. She was a pisser about makin’ her a flah, but I knew you lads would appreciate my sacrifice.” Seer winks at Presley and he winks back.

What did I tell them about ganging up on me? Assholes—I’m surrounded by assholes.

Switching my attention back to the one person who isn’t being a pain in my ass, I smile down at Hottie McBaby Vet. “Put me down so I can hug you.” His face lights up and he lets me slide down his frame until I’m eye to eye. I peck a soft kiss on his lips and give him a quick hug as a reward. “I see why you two were so excited to show me this place—or I would be if someone would let me in .”

Wolfie glares at Edgar and Benjy, and Presley arches his brow. The other two stare back, and I sigh. Men are a serious pain in my ass in this town, and not enjoyably. Jekyll bounds past Seer with Hyde in tow and hisses at Benjy. Hyde yowls her disapproval next, and Euryale honks loud enough to make Presley wince.

“My companions humbly request you jackasses allow us entrance before they get pissed,” I say, bending my legs as I do a sarcastic curtsey.

You can abso-fucking-lutely do a sarcastic curtsy.

I know because a duchess taught me. It’s effective for a polite ‘get bent’ in monarchy-based countries, but also works in sultanates and a few democracies.

Edgar’s eyes narrow at the familiarity I have with my new guys, and he lets out a piercing whistle. Two enormous black beasts come flying out of the bar area, teeth bared and snarling. Something inside takes notice and my skin heats. Standing taller, I slide past all the men, eyeing the oversized Dobermans as they approach. They stare at me as they skid to a stop, their heads tilting in confusion.

I feel Jekyll, Hyde, and Euryale flank me. The air in this place is stifling, and even though I’m only wearing a tiny lavender lace dress, sweat trickles down the center of my back. Blinking my itchy eyes, I wonder if I’m having an allergic reaction. I’ve never had any before, but who the fuck knows what kind of shit this town is hiding. Tapping the toes of my white platform heels on the ground, I continue to stare at Teddy’s dogs until they back down. First one and then the other sit on the ground, ears and snouts at attention.

“Good dogs,” I murmur. My head gets weird, and I glance around, trying to take in the place's décor, but my vision is blurry. I can sense what’s going to happen, and I croak, “Boys… a little help…”

Then everything goes black… again.