Page 14 of Home for the Hockey-Days (Cedar Rapids Raccoons)

CHAPTER 14

August

“ Y ou sure you’re okay being seen in public... with the enemy ?” Lachlan’s voice drops to a dramatic whisper at the end of his sentence. It’s Christmas Eve, and he’s in town from Wisconsin to visit with family.

We’re both missing the ice. While part of me is concerned that Johnny White’s going to crack me in the skull with his twig, another part is eager to get back to the game.

Lachlan picks up his burger and stares at it. “You know how hockey fans get.” He quirks a brow. “They might think we’re in cahoots.” He takes a way-too-big bite, demolishing about a quarter of the burger.

“If they think anything, it’ll be that we’re setting up for a fight after the holidays.” I pick up a few fries and drag them through the pot of ketchup before cramming them in my mouth.

“I’m game if you are.” Lachlan mumbles around the food in his mouth before grabbing a napkin on the table and dabbing it against his mouth. “In fact, why wait? We don’t even have gloves to drop. Get up, we can give everyone here a good Christmas show.” He grins .

I shake my head. “I’d rather not.”

He’s got at least two inches on me, and the only time I’ve ever fought him, I ended up on my ass with a busted nose. We eat in silence for a few moments, and a kid comes up to the table to get Lachlan’s autograph.

“I’m so sorry.” The child’s mom practically groans at me. “We did our best to make sure he was a Raccoon’s fan, but he really loves wolves...” She waves her hand like that’s all it took to convert the little boy who can’t be older than six or seven.

He looks up at Lachlan with Stanley Cups dancing in his eyes, and gushes at him about how he’s the best player in the whole wide world. It’s adorable. Lachlan asks the boy’s mom if she’d like tickets to the first game back after the holidays, and she says they’re already going.

Lachlan nods. “I could get my teammates to sign a notebook for you, and give it back to you after the game.”

The kid’s smile widens even further, like all his Christmases have come at once. “Is that okay Mom?” He looks at her with such hope in her eyes there’s no way this woman’s saying no.

“Sure thing, kiddo.”

While Lachlan chats with the mom about logistics, I pick at my fries. A flash of red hair captures my attention, and the person it’s attached to is a similar build and height to Rowan. After staring at her for way too long, when she finally turns around, my heart sinks because it’s not her. It’s Christmas time, time for people to be with their family, but I’m sorely tempted to message her to schedule an emergency Christmas Eve tutoring session just so I can be near her for a while.

As I gulp down my root beer float, I feel eyes on my skin. “What?”

“Who is that?” Lachlan doesn’t bother to gesture at who he’s talking about. I hadn’t seen the woman and her son leave, but he’s obviously spied my gaze lingering on the redhead across the restaurant.

I shrug, taking another drink. “Don’t know her.”

He takes another bite of his burger, swallowing it in record time. “Okay, who did you think she was?”

I shake my head. “No.” I cram some food in my mouth, hoping it’ll be enough to put him off pressing the topic, but he doesn’t. Instead, he kicks my ankle.

“Oh, you’re absolutely going to talk.” Another quarter of his burger disappears down the hatch and he washes it down with a glug of his milkshake. “Who is she, my ‘I’m staying single forever, soon-to-be a preacher friend?”

With a snort, I kick him back. “It hasn’t been that long.” It hasn’t, but only because I fucked Rowan senseless at the Christmas party a couple days ago. And again after I ate out her delectable pussy in the library yesterday instead of learning math.

“Spill,” he presses.

I sigh. “Her name is Rowan Armistead. She’s my math tutor.”

His brows twitch. “White’s ex?”

Sometimes the hockey world is exceptionally small. I pinch the bridge of my nose. “How do you know her?”

“One of the guys on my team wanted to ask her out on a date without knowing she was in a relationship already. Johnny knocked one of his teeth out.” He grins. “My teammate broke his nose in response.” He shrugs. “Wasn’t a bad fight actually.”

“Well, she’s single, or I think we’re dating? I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?” Lachlan drags some fries through mayo and crams them into his mouth. “How did you meet? Through tutoring?”

I shake my head. “She crashed into my car. ”

He gasps before clutching his chest. “Not Rusty. How the hell are you getting around?”

With a nod, I turn somber. “Rusty is no more. Ubers, bumming rides from teammates, the twins keep offering me a loaner.”

“And you keep saying no.” He shakes his head. “Take the fucking help, Gus. She wrecked Rusty, and you still want to see this woman? She must be special.”

“She is, and I can’t get her out of my mind.” The urge to drop my head onto the table with a thunk is powerful, but I’m not normally dramatic.

“When are you seeing her again? After the holiday at school?”

I grunt before taking a drink.

“Why don’t you ask to see her over Christmas?”

“We barely know each other, Lachlan. It’s Christmas, she’s probably with her family...”

He studies me for a long moment while I polish off my fries. “What aren’t you saying, Gus?” He holds me with a hard stare that somehow pierces through my defenses. Maybe telling him what I’m afraid of will help me figure out how to move forward.

“I’m not good enough for her, okay? She’s smart, like super fucking smart, and beautiful, and funny, and...”

“Wealthy.”

My jaw drops.

“Don’t deny it.” He holds up his palm to me. “You really need to knock that shit on the head, Gus. You get back what you put out there. If you believe you’re not worthy of love because you’re broke, you’re never going to get love, or fucking money. The universe listens to that shit.”

It’s a bit too much of a woo-woo answer for my liking.

“How you talk to yourself is important. If you constantly tell yourself and others you’re not worthy, or that the only worth anyone has is financial worth, you’re going to end up miserable and alone.”

“Ugh.” This time, I don’t hold back from smacking my head off the table.

“Did you fuck it up already? Did you push her away?” He studies my face. “Gus, please don’t tell me you fucked it up.”

Why he’s so invested in my love life is anyone’s guess, but I guess it’s nice that he cares. “I don’t think so. I mean...” I rub my palms on my thighs. “I tried to scare her away by taking her to see Maggie.” I jerk my thumb at the counter. “And I told her about Todd.”

He groans, giving me an eye roll that would rival a high schooler’s. “And how did that go?”

“Maggie insisted she get an invite to our future wedding.”

Lachlan smacks his thigh with a laugh. “Well, if Maggie likes her, she can’t be bad. How long has it been since you’ve dated?”

“A while.” I’m not answering that with specifics. Heaving out a weighted breath doesn’t lighten the tension in my body. “I’m afraid of fucking it up.”

He slurps at the bottom of his shake with his straw. “You deserve all good things, my friend.” He pauses. “Except winning the Frozen Four, that’s got the Wolves all over it this year.” He grins. “But you deserve to be happy. Just be yourself, that’s more than enough for anyone. If you act like you don’t deserve her, then you won’t.”

He holds up his hand again. “Don’t. It’s Christmas. Allow me this one time a year to be a sappy fucker, and I’ll go back to head smacks in the New Year.”

We fall silent for a couple of minutes as his words sink into my subconscious. Could it be that simple? Believe I’m worthy of her affection, and I will be?

I guess there’s one way to find out. I pick up my phone, and type out a message.

August: I need your help.