Page 33 of Holden

Holden was hit by the truth in that statement with an invisible blow to his solar plexus.

Shit.

That was the last thing he wanted. He needed a level head. A clear one.

“So, do you want Emily to be safe? And are you willing to do whatever it takes, no matter the cost?”

The answer was simple, fast, easy. “Yes.”

“Then we move ahead as planned.” Mac waved at the devices on the table. “Let’s load up and head out.”

Inhaling through a chest that was no longer tight, Holden not only breathed easier, he felt better.

Calmer.

Grounded.

Like his old self.

When put into simple, black and white terms, he was able to compartmentalize the pros and cons.

Did he feel guilty invading her privacy? Yes.

Did he feel bad about deceiving her? Absolutely.

Was it all necessary to possibly keep her safe?

Hell, yeah.

So, no more analyzing his options. Decision made. Move on.

With a plan now in place, he was eager to execute it.

“Thanks for suggesting this and for donating the equipment.” He thrust his hand out to Mac.

His boss shook his hand and his head. “No thanks necessary. You know I always have your back.”

He released Mac’s hand and watched him climb onto his motorcycle, which was parked on the other side of the SUVs. The guy wasn’t part of today’s installation crew. He was part of the go-home-to-his-pregnant-wife-and-relax crew.

And it was true. Mac always had Holden’s back.

Even when he’d screwed up and hadn’t followed his gut on that screwed-up CIA mission. The one that had incited half his buddies to leave the military.

Maybe if he had voiced his concern, Mac would’ve scrubbed the mission and those bombs never would’ve had the opportunity to explode.

Or maybe he would’ve ignored Holden and gone through with his orders anyway.

The age-old debate hadn’t changed in Holden’s head in the four and a half years since that fateful day. He would forget about it for months at a time, then something bad would happen and the past incident would come crashing back and fester like an open wound.

“You need to get out of that headspace,” Hunter said, as if reading his mind.

And damn…how the hell did the guy always seem to appear out of nowhere?

Theninja footworkwas something Sinjin was capable of too.

“It’s not healthy,” Hunter added.

He shrugged. “I know. It just seems to surface out of nowhere.”