Page 6 of His Wilde Little (Saddle Up #2)

In some ways, it felt like I was playing with Jace.

He had this confidence about him that shattered and disappeared when I stared at him for a little bit too long.

It felt like I was breaking in a new kid, except this one was twenty-seven with facial hair, and the type of scowl that appeared to say he already knew everything he needed to know.

We worked together to prepare the stables for the incoming horses. He still didn’t let Mary eat from his hand, and I had to tell him it was a sign of respect for a horse to eat from a hand, instead of throwing it into their stall and hope you don’t wallop them on their head or hind.

Chugging back a large bottle of water, Jace stood up straight, propping him on the stall door.“Ok, I’ve laid down new hay bedding and cleared all the webs.”

“Good, let’s move onto the other.”

He shook his head, pulling his hat away and swiping the sweat dripping from his hair back across his head. “Now I know why my dad plays up about his back.”

I stood and pushing the fallen sleeves up from around my wrists. “And here I thought you were able to do this alone,” I teased. “You know, I bet I go grab Diane and she’d come clean out the other stall.”

“Oh, ok, that’s rude,” he said, rolling his sleeves up. “Diane would probably spend the entire time ogling you and saying something that will have you second-guessing the whole reason you came here.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not interested,” I chuckled. “Anyway, pick that rake back up, I was serious about getting the third one ready.”

He huffed and nodded. “I can do whatever anyone else can do, but better,” he said.

“Then show me.”

Another scoff. “I’m doing it.” He grabbed the rake and charged for the stall filled with old hay and an undisclosed time of dirt that had collected, alongside what appeared to be a matrix of cobwebs. “You gotta help as well. We’ll get it done twice as fast.”

“I am, plus, I’ve got the benefit of—” I flexed my arms for him. I didn’t know why, it just came over me. And he stopped raking to look at me, his eyes wide and blinking rapidly. “You know, practice.”

“That’s nice and all, but I didn’t sign up for this,” he said.

We worked together, pulling the dirt out of the stall and into a hefty bag. It didn’t take long, trying to do more than each other. It was actually surprising to see him grunt and let out these primal growls as he picked up mounds of hay and throw them down.

And just as we finished laying the new hay down as bedding, the heavens above broke and a thunderous downpour of rain came down. Jace rushed outside, head tilted, taking in the cooling rain, while I stood and watched as he became soaked.

“You’re gonna catch your death,” I called to him.

“Come out, it’s nice,” he said, holding an arm out to me. “I promise.”

Staring at him as he turned around spraying the rainwater off him like a shaking dog. I went out to join him. The instant cooling of the rain had my shoulders relaxed and I was now tilting my head up to the sky.

“Isn’t it nice?”

“No,” I laughed. “It’s amazing.”

The first crash of thunder had us escaping into the stable together, drenched from head to toe. We just laughed. I sat in one of the stalls across from Mary as she was huffing and neighing. Jace sat beside me and big smile on his face.

“Summer was boiling, we had one storm,” he said. “I think we might be due a rainy fall.”

“Doesn’t rain too much where I’m from,” I told him. I’d kind of forgotten how it made the air smell, a sweetness to it, like I wanted to extend my tongue and lap it right out of the atmosphere. “How often does it rain up here?”

He shrugged. “If rain is new, then I’m not sure how you’ll react to winter. We get so much snow, sometimes blocking the road out into town.” He laid back in the hay. “It’s kinda nice actually.”

“The hay or the snow?” I asked, leaning back into it. “I don’t know how horses sleep in this stuff.”

Our heads were almost connecting.

And then they were.

I didn’t know whose head connected or made the move first as we kissed. A simple longing peck on the lips, that neither of us flinched away from.

The moment lingered. My eyes closed briefly, opening as he opened his.

“I—”

He snickered. “That wasn’t what I expected.”

“Which part?”

“Um. The—” he licked his lips. They had been incredibly soft to the touch. “The kiss. But I guess it makes sense.”

“I shouldn’t have let that happen.” I pulled myself away from him, clinging to the wooden boards in the stall.

“I’m sorry, I get a little carried away and a whole lot heated.

” I grabbed my hat from the peg and placed it firmly on my wet hair.

“I think we’ve done enough work here, I’m gonna head off. ”

“But you’re gonna get drenched out there,” he said, lifting himself onto his shoulders in the stack of hay. “I’m not gonna tell anyone. It’s not my business Brokeback Mountain -ing out here, as long as you don’t have some wife and kid, you’re taking care of.”

I turned away and paused at the wooden stall gate, staring ahead at Mary, peering over like she was listening to gossip. “It’s not that,” I told him. “I’m not here to try and find that type of deal.”

“What type of deal?” he asked, laughing a little. “It was just a kiss. I’m not going to out you.”

Pinching my tongue between my teeth, I didn’t want to say something I might regret. “I’ve only just met you; you don’t get to know my deal. And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell anyone about that. It won’t happen again.”

“Relax, it’s not a big deal,” he said. “As long as you’re not already with someone. I don’t see the big deal. It was just a kiss.”

I shook my head and looked back at him with those eyes begging me to join him in the hay and the wet clothes begging to be torn from his skin, at least, he’d need to remove them soon or he might catch a cold.

“I’m not—I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I’m just not going to get into all of this right now. This can’t happen.”

He shrugged. “I think you actually leaned in first.”

“If that is true, it wasn’t meant to, I just—”

A giggle escaped his mouth. “I think it was me, but I felt something in the moment, and I’m sorry that you don’t feel anything.”

That wasn’t it at all. I did feel something, and surprisingly under the heft of the drenched clothing, I could still feel. I just nodded. “You should get home and out of those clothes. You’ll get sick, and I can’t have you getting sick when we’ve still got work to do.”

“Yes, Sir,” he said, saluting me and then holding his hand out. “But I’m gonna need your help getting out of this.”

I helped him to his feet as another roll of thunder came crashing down. Mary let out a whinny. I cooed her to lay down and gave her a little stroke on her head as she got comfy in her pile of hay.

Jace had been behind me the entire time, adjusting his Stetson and rubbing away the hay from his wet clothes. I’d tried telling him to leave again, but it wasn’t until his mom arrived with umbrellas and raincoats.

“I figured the two of you might be stranded up here,” she said, clearing her throat and taking a look at us. “Oh lord, Jace get one of those one and get back to the house. You’ll get sick if you stay in those.”

“I’m not gonna get sick,” he said, accepting an umbrella from his mom and an oversized raincoat. “We were just finishing the stalls.”

“Then how did you get caught in the rain?” she asked. “Mhmm. I thought you were old enough to know not to play out in the pouring rain.”

Something stirred in me at the comment. “In his defense, ma’am, it was a nice relief after hauling hay,” I said. “But she’s right, I’m about to head back to the guesthouse now.”

Martha hummed and nodded. “Lolo, do you a multi-vitamin?”

“What for?”

“In case you get sick,” she said. “I swear by my one a day vitamin, if not, that’s ok, I’ll have Max send up some of those dissolvable vitamin C tablets.”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Wilde, I don’t get sick.”

Jace laughed. “That’s what people say right before they get sick.”

And while I might’ve agreed, he was wrong about me.

Once I was back at the guesthouse, I took a long warm soak in the tub and made sure to put my boots by the radiator.

They wicked water away so well, but you could never be too careful about wet boots.

I enjoyed more of my book, and I couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss.

It didn’t help that I was reading about men kissing, and now, every mention of it in the book had a vivid image of Jace’s face against mine.

I’d tried to push the moment away, but every push was also a pull, forcing me to remember it, and the error I’d made just by getting too close to him physically.

It wasn’t something I wanted to be defined by.

Sexuality wasn’t something I needed people to think about when they saw me, it was a distraction from who I was as a person, because at my core, I was just a guy who liked to work with animals.

My feelings were nicely bottled up and lined neatly, almost like wine, aging, they’d been right there in my mind, and I never tried to uncork a single one. And yet, here they were, bubbling to the surface.

The first was an ex-fling. We were out one night at a dive bar near the ranch I’d been working on.

Someone hurled a slur at us, and we hurled fists.

He broke someone’s nose, I had a bottle smashed over my head, and the glass cut through my palm where I could now still see the silvery lines of where it had been stuck together with some gauze, tape, and some glue I was told was for skin.

It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten into a fight with someone, but my sexuality was some heated weapon that riled people up to the point of paranoia. I had to put my Kindle away after that, and take a couple deep breathes as the warm water soaked over me, hopefully helping me unwind.

That night, I binged all the baked goods Jace had brought over the other day, alongside two tins of soup after the first tin barely warmed me.

And once those things were done, and my mind still continued to uncork bottled feelings, I turned the TV on in the corner of the lounge and let the mind melting stations flicker in and out from the reception, but at least it was something to occupy myself with while I tried not to spiral.

I knew Jace wouldn’t tell anyone, but now, I didn’t know if I could work with him. I couldn’t trust myself to think he might want to kiss me again, and I might’ve wanted to kiss him again. In fact, I absolutely did.

This place was different. This was almost a new world now. People were proud, people were happy, and nobody hurled slurs like they were part of their everyday speech. Maybe I could let down some of my barriers here? It was one of the reasons that came into moving after all.

The TV came back from the static fizz. A competition show with bright colors and buzzers that dinged. Almost signaling a ding of my own, and there it was.

I had no reason to hide behind the straight persona I’d allowed people to create of me in my silence. I had a voice, a voice that these people seemed like they wanted to hear. A true burning smile appeared across my lips and cheeks.

While I wasn’t going to throw myself a coming out party for them, I would also not skate around obvious questions, although they were probably far too polite to even ask me outright.

And I didn’t exactly own rainbow clothing or pins like Jace, but I couldn’t allow myself to feel shame any longer for who I’d always been—or that kiss which I may or may not have initiated.

The jury was out on that one.