Page 44 of His to Possess

Our phone call.

“Holy shit,” I mutter, reaching for my phone. Surely that part had to be a dream, right? We hadn’t really talked on the phone while we both…

But there it is. The text that started it all.

Philip:Are you going to touch yourself tonight?

And right under it, my response.

Me:I already am.

Heat rushes to my cheeks. I can’t believe I actually admitted that to him. And then he’d called me.Tell me how good it feels.A shiver runs through me as I remember the sound of his voice. He’d said plenty of deliciously dirty words last night, on the phone and in the hallway. My face flushes when I remember him asking if I wanted to be controlled by him.“You want to let me take over this sweet body? Use it however I like?”

I told Philip Matthews that I’ve been picturing him while fantasizing for years. I told him I wanted him to take control, just like the couple we saw dancing on stage at Club Wyld.

But as soon as that thought enters my mind, I remember what had happened right before we left. Running into my stepfather’s business partner. Just like that the haze of lust disappears.

What in the hell am I doing? Mooning around over a man who is so totally out of my league. I have real problems here, grown up shit with far higher stakes than some little crush. Dealing with my reality is going to take every bit of my focus and efforts.

I invited Philip into my bed last night. I’d been so overwhelmed with lust for the man that I would have happily given up my virginity without a second thought. And then where would I be?

I need the money from Club Rendezvous. If Philip isn’t willing to fulfill the contract, I have to re-enter the auction next weekend. Even if that thought does make me want to vomit.

I appreciate all the help Philip has given me, but there’s no way I can just sit here in his penthouse for the rest of the week, pretending like I don’t have a care in the world. At this moment, Mr. McGarry could already be calling my stepfather and telling him where he saw me last night. The thought sends a cold slither of fear into my belly. I grab my cellphone from the bedside table and type out a quick text to Christopher.

Me:How’s it going little brother?

His response comes immediately.

Chris:I’m in Geometry. So fucking boring. Kill me please.

I grin, my nerves abated somewhat. If he’s at school, that means he’s safe. For now, at least.

Me:Language kid.

Chris:*eye roll emjoi*

Chris:Am I going to see you any time in the next century?

The recently vacated fear is replaced with guilt and a longing so strong it takes my breath away. I miss him so much.

Me:Yes. I promise.

I want to tell him that I’ll be there this weekend—right after I get my money from Rendezvous—but I bite my tongue. I promised myself I wouldn’t tell him anything until I was sure I had a way out for us.

Chris:I hope so. House sucks without you.

And there’s that guilt again. God, maybe I shouldn’t have left him there. It seemed like my only option at the time, but now…

Me:Is everything okay? How’s Mom doing?

Chris:Same. She drinks all day and follows it up with the pills at night. Regular old party.

Damn it. I hadn’t expected things to change after I left, but I hate thinking about her like that. And I hate that Christopher is there alone with her.

Me:I’m going to fix this, Chris. You’re not going to be stuck there much longer. I promise.

This time, there’s a longer break between texts and my stomach sinks even more. He doesn’t believe me. And I can’t even say I blame him.