Page 4 of His to Cherish (Club Wyld #5)

OLIVER

I drove to Club Wyld on autopilot. Now that I’m actually standing in the lounge, though, I’m certain coming here was a mistake.

This place is usually my refuge. The place I go to calm the raging desires in my head. Where I find a distraction from the constant thoughts of the woman I can’t have. It had been a no brainer to come here after that hellish dinner. Never in my life have I needed a distraction more.

But now that I’m here, I know there’s no way I’m going to find it. There’s not a distraction in the entire world exciting enough to make me forget what happened with Lilly.

I close my eyes, memories of our dinner inundating my mind. If I live to be a hundred, I know I’ll never forget the way Lilly looked when she told me she wanted me.

Lilly wants me. This crazy obsession I’ve been fighting hasn’t been one-sided. I was so close to giving in. How am I supposed to keep fighting the thing I’ve wanted so badly now that I know she wants it too?

Because she doesn’t want it the same way as you, I remind myself. My eyes snap open and I glare around the room, more than a little disgusted with myself for being here. Isn’t this proof that what I told her is true? I’m not good for her and I never will be.

There’s no doubt in my mind that when Lilly said she wanted me, this wasn’t what she had in mind.

My girl is sweet and pure-hearted. She probably daydreams about a partner who will make gentle, sweet love to her.

I grit my teeth at the thought of anyone making love to my girl—but I know it’s what she deserves.

Because Lilly is it . She’s the most special, amazing person I know. She deserves the fairytale prince.

That man is not me.

When she said she could make me happy though, I’d considered it.

God, I’d let myself imagine it. What if I gave in to the thing we both wanted?

What if I took her back to my condo and finally found out what it felt like to taste her lips?

To undress her? To know what she looks like naked and writhing under me?

I wanted that so badly I felt like I was going to come out of my skin.

When she made that asinine comment about me not being attracted to her, I just had to show her how wrong she was.

Having her warm, little hand on my hard dick, even through two layers of fabric, might have been the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life.

But my reaction to her touch was the only proof I needed that this couldn’t happen between us.

I would never be satisfied with gentle, quiet sex.

Not with her. Just the feel of her hand on me had every filthy fantasy racing through my mind.

I wanted to force her to her knees there in the restaurant and make her take my aching dick into her mouth.

I wanted to lay her out on that table and feast on her pussy instead of our dessert.

I wanted to pull her over my lap and spank her sexy ass for getting Daddy hard in the restaurant?—

I let out a groan. That, that right there is why this can’t happen. The things I want, the things I need …it’s not right to expose someone like Lilly to the shit in my head.

“Here,” a familiar voice says, and I turn to see my friend, Carter Grant, holding out a glass of amber liquid. “You look like you could use this.”

“Thanks,” I grunt out, then down half the whiskey in one gulp. I’m sure this is pricey stuff—nothing but the best for Club Wyld—and meant to be savored, but I don’t really care.

“I wasn’t sure I’d see you tonight,” Grant presses. “It’s always kind of a crapshoot the nights you take Lilly out.”

I grunt in response. I don’t want to get into this.

“I can never predict if you’re going to end up palling around, painting each other’s nails and having pillow fights?—”

“Fuck off, Grant,” I grumble before taking another pull of scotch.

“Or,” he goes on, totally ignoring my protests. “You’re just as likely to end up here, looking to burn off tension from a night spent with Little Miss Untouchable.”

I glare at him. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

He holds up his hands but doesn’t bother wiping the smirk from his face. “I’m just saying, sometimes it seems like you’re going for sainthood. Spending all that time with a woman you want so badly and won’t let yourself have.”

I hadn’t been much of a saint tonight. Not only had I made her feel my dick, I’d also rejected her. My girl had been so brave, asking for what she wanted. Self-esteem has never been Lilly’s strong point and I know what it took for her to make that jump.

And I shot her down. Yes, I had a good damn reason for it. But she didn’t know that. All she knew was that I said no. Her stricken, pale face is going to haunt me until the day I die.

I snag a passing waiter and hand him my empty glass, asking for another ASAP. “You’ve barely been here for ten minutes and you’re already on drink number two? Tonight must have been even more difficult than usual.”

“Again, fuck off.”

He just grins, the annoying bastard. “Well, if you’re looking to burn off some steam, you came to the right place. You missed the main stage show but things are just starting to pick up in the back.”

I feel a familiar thrum of heat in my veins.

Club Wyld is the only place I’ve ever truly been able to feel like myself when it comes to sex.

There’s no judgement here. No self-doubt.

Just people who know what they want and aren’t ashamed to take it.

Sometimes I feel like I didn’t truly understand myself until I stepped through that heavy steel door to the secret rooms in the back.

“What’s on the schedule?” I ask, crossing my fingers that there could be something exciting enough to take my mind off my shit night.

“Philip was already here with his sub,” he says, grinning lasciviously. “He put her through nearly two hours with a whip and paddle. Poor thing.”

I grunt. Philip Matthews is one of the most accomplished Doms I’ve ever met. If any scene was going to get me out of this funk, it would probably be his.

Then again, his scenes hadn’t been quite the same since he collared his current sub. They have a relationship outside of this place—I think I heard they got married recently—and their love and connection shines through their work.

Not that that’s a bad thing. There’s nothing like watching a Dom/sub pair who have a true connection. The amount of trust they have in each other can be breathtaking.

But I’m not sure watching the two of them being in love is really what I need tonight.

“Your favorite room looked quite busy when I passed by earlier,” he says pointedly, and I close my eyes, wishing for the millionth time that the mere mention of that room didn’t make my dick twitch.

If it was just the dominant stuff, I might be able to make things work with Lilly. She seems to be happy to let me take the lead in most respects. Lots of couples participate in some light bondage and spanking. I could make that work.

But there’s more to me than a simple desire to be dominating in bed. And it’s those needs that make my best friend off limits.

“Pretty sure I saw a few littles looking for a Daddy for the night.”

“Then why don’t you go make one of their nights?” I ask.

He laughs. “Oh, I plan to, my friend. My palm has been itching for a naughty bottom all damn week.”

My own palm tingles and I force it into a fist. Images of Lilly spread over my lap assault me. What I wouldn’t give to spank my girl, to show her who’s in charge.

Stop it, fucker.

“Oh man,” Grant laughs, slapping my shoulder. “You really have it bad, man.”

“This is news to you?”

He shakes his head, still chuckling, oblivious to the way I’m glaring at him. Or maybe he’s just too amused by my pain to care.

“Listen, man,” he says, turning to face me fully. “I think it might be time for you put it all out there with Lilly.”

I could tell him that she’d tried to do that very thing a few hours ago, but what good would it do? He’d just call me a fucking idiot for turning her down. Grant has always thought I was overstating the potential problems in me trying something with her.

“I can’t do that.”

He rolls his eyes. “Such a drama queen. You can do it.” He slaps a hand on my shoulder. “You just look her in the eye, like this, and say Lilly baby, I fantasize about dressing you like a school girl and spanking your ass. You up for it?’”

I shake his hand off. “Yeah, that would go over so well.”

He studies my face for a long moment, some of the amusement finally leaving his. “Have you ever considered that your sweet little Lilly might not be as innocent as you think?”

My body immediately goes rigid. “What the hell does that mean? If someone is spreading shit about Lilly’s sex life?—”

He rolls his eyes again. “Jesus, dude, chill out. I’ve never heard anyone talk about your girl like that. All I’m saying is that you and Lilly never really talk about your sex lives, either.”

“Because my sanity requires I pretend she doesn’t have one.”

He laughs. “Fair enough. But if you don’t talk about it, you can’t really know what she might be into.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I’ve known the woman for years. I see the kinds of guys she goes out with. I’m pretty sure I can safely say she’s not into the whole Daddy Dom scene.”

He shrugs. “But what if she is?”

I’m starting to get pissed off. “She’s not.”

“How can you be sure?”

I throw my hands up in the air, at the end of my patience now.

Yeah, coming here tonight was a huge mistake.

“Why are you pressing this?” I ask. “You know Lilly, too.” Not as well as I do, of course, but we have all hung out.

“What has ever given you even the slightest impression she might be into this?”

His eyes lock with me, a shit-stirring grin spreading across his face. “The fact that she’s standing across the room right now.”

“What?” I yell it so loudly that several heads turn in our direction. Grant takes hold of my shoulders and turns me to face the bar. Sure enough, there’s a woman standing there, staring around the room with wide eyes. I would know those eyes anywhere.

“What the hell is she doing here?” I snap. “How the hell did she get in?”

He shrugs next to me. “Maybe you should ask her that.”

“Oh, I’m going to fucking ask her.” The waiter chooses that moment to return with my second scotch. I ignore his apologies for the delay, plucking the glass off the tray and downing the entire thing in one gulp. I have a feeling I’m going to need the burn of liquor to keep my head on straight.

“Don’t freak out, man,” Grant says, but I brush him off, already striding across the room toward the bar. Seriously, what in the hell is she doing here? How does she even know this place exists? You can’t just walk in here off the street. It’s a public night, but you still have to have a pass?—

And then I see something that turns my rage to ice in my veins.

Lilly isn’t alone. She’s talking to a man, some bastard I don’t know in a suit, and he’s leaning toward her to murmur something in her ear.

He has his hand on her back. He’s fucking touching my girl.

I can barely see straight I’m so pissed off.

“Dude,” Grant says, more forcefully now as he hurries to keep up with me. “You have to calm down. You go over there freaking out like this and you’re going to scare her.”

Good, I think to myself, narrowing my eyes at my best friend. Maybe she needs to be scared. Maybe she needs to understand that this isn’t the kind of place to mess around in. That I’m not the type of man to mess around with.

I think it’s time my girl learned a few important lessons.