Page 36 of His Remorseful King
And before I can upchuck, I take off running toward my house.
Chapter Fifteen
Theceilingspins,flashesof light dancing in the air. I’m weightless, swirling in the same way the lights do even though my back is glued to the floor of my living room. I register a distant ringing, but it’s too far to reach.
My body is warm despite the shivers coursing through my body. Paddy’s silhouette hovers over me, smiling as his hands trace the lines of my face. But I know this isn’t real. It’s all in my head. I know it because I don’t feel the warmth of his fingertips.
The ringing stops. Now there’s a stomping falling into a pattern and then they come to a halt. And the gentle nudge of a brown leather boot hitting my shoulder is real. “Ouch.”
“That didn’t hurt,” Paddy says. But it isn’t his voice. It’s someone else’s. “I barely tapped you.”
I groan. “Go away, Sean.”
“You left me to clean up a body by myself.”
“It was your body to clean up.”
He lets out a pained noise and plops down on the carpeted floor beside me. Bringing his knees to his chest, he rests his forearms on his knees. “What’s going on with you, bro?”
I swallow, turning my head to look at him. “Blood makes me squeamish.”
“That’s a bit weird considering you were a combat medic.”
“Sean?”
“Griff?”
“How do you kill someone and not let it get to you?”
He pauses, contemplating an answer. “They all deserve it.”
“And what justifies deserving it?”
His hand reaches for my shoulder. “They fucked with my family. And they’re not all lucky enough to have a quick death like he was.”
“I don’t want to be a part of any of this. It’s too fucking much.” I roll to my side, pushing to sit up. “You just murdered someone in broad daylight. How is that okay to you?”
“He was going to kill you, Griffin. What do you think would happen if I let you die?”
I grind my teeth. “I’d be free of this bullshit.” I let myself imagine it for a second. The final sleep, never to wake up again. How amazing that would be. I’m so tired. Too fucking tired for this shit. It would be glorious. But, of course Paddy ruins that though. He’d be devastated.
“No. Paddy would be in a grave next to you. Fuck the baby he’s about to have, you’re his entire life, Michael. He chased you into a fucking combat zone.” Sean interrupts my fantasy at the same time I ruin it for myself.
And there it is.Our dirty little secret aired out for the Murphy brothers to figure out. I should feel guilty that Paddy’s sexuality was outed like that–not his choice. But the only emotion there is lightness. A heavy cloud drifting away, and I identify it as grief. Remorse for him that he’ll never get that secret back.
“You knew?” I ask, my chest feeling so heavy.
“Of course, I fucking knew. I have all of your phones bugged.” Sean stands, slowly pacing the length of the room. “Now. We have crazier things to deal with right now.”
“Yeah. Like how the hell you think you’re getting away with murder in the middle of the city in broad daylight.”
He tosses me a dismissive wave. “Please. I can talk my way out of anything. We’re fine.”
“What’s more important than a dead body, Sean?”
He stops, turning to me. “Three hits in two weeks, Griffin. I think I know who’s declaring war.”
“And you’re coming to me with this information, why? I’m a pharmacist with zero ties to the mob now that my dad is dead.”