Page 14

Anya

The silence after Dmitri's death is suffocating. My heart still pounds, the echoes of the gunshot ringing in my ears, but everything has shifted. The chaos has been replaced by a heavy stillness that feels almost unnatural.

I look at Pavel. He is standing there, his body trembling. My hands still clutch the gun—my knuckles white from the force—but my grip weakens by the second.

"Anya…" Pavel’s voice is rough as he takes a careful step toward me.

"Anya," he repeats, softer now, a plea. He reaches out, gently taking the gun from my shaking hand. My fingers don't protest, but my eyes remain distant and unfocused as if I am still caught in the aftermath of what just happened. I cannot breathe. My breath comes in shallow gasps.

I cannot feel my body. I am barely standing, swaying slightly, and I instinctively step closer. I don’t pull away.

The weight of what I have just done hangs between us—between the two of us, between the whole fucking mess that has been our lives. Dmitri is dead. His blood stains the marble, a grim punctuation at the end of this godforsaken chapter.

He takes my face in my hands, trying to catch my eyes.

"Anya, look at me," he whispers, his voice rough. "You ended him. You took control. He’s gone. He can’t hurt anyone anymore."

I blink, my lashes flutter like the wings of a broken bird. For a long moment, I cannot speak. Then, finally, my lips part, and the words tumble out, soft and fractured.

"I thought killing him would… would make it better," I say. "But it doesn't. It doesn’t fix anything. All these years, I have carried this hatred and anger for him, and now that it's done…I…why do I feel so empty inside?”

"You don’t have to carry this alone," he tells me. His thumb traces the outline of my lips. "You never have to carry this alone, zayka. I am here. I will help you carry this heaviness. I am sorry. I am so sorry, little rabbit.”

I don’t respond, and I don’t move. It’s like I am frozen, stuck in the wreckage of everything that led us here. But then, finally, I speak up again, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Do you think I’m a monster?"

The question strikes him like a punch to the gut.

"No," he breathes out almost too quickly. "Anya, no. You’re not a monster. You avenged Leo. You brought justice to your brother, my little girl, and Mikhail’s sister.”

"Leo can rest now. He can rest knowing that I got the fucker who killed him. “I mutter, my voice distant. “I…I just don’t know who I am anymore–not after this.”

"Anya," he says again, his voice firm. "I will tell you exactly who you are. You are amazing.You are someone who held her nerve and didn’t let this dark world swallow her whole. You took on Goliath, and you made it out alive. You are powerful and capable. You are so special. I have never met anyone like you. Believe me, zayka. I wish I did this instead of you so I can take this pain from you.”

"Then who am I going forward, Pavel?" I ask, my voice breaking slightly. "If I’m not this… this person who kills for revenge, then who the hell am I?"

"You’re someone who’s been through hell and back," he says quietly. "But you’re still here, Anya. You’re still breathing. That’s who you are."

I swallow hard, my gaze moving from his eyes to the lifeless body of Dmitri, still lying on the blood-soaked floor. For a long time, I don’t speak, just stare, as if searching for some kind of answer in the aftermath of the destruction. But I know the truth. There is no simple answer. Not for me. Not for either of us.

"We’ll figure this out," he tells me, his voice a quiet vow. "One step at a time. I am here for you. I am yours from now on and always, zayka. I am here to protect and shield you from this day going forward until the day I take my last breath. I didn’t want to admit it, but I have to say it now. I love you, little rabbit. You, that beautiful brain of yours, your smile, and your eyes. You made me feel alive again. I love you.”

As I look to the side through the window, there is a big rainbow running through the sky. Leo loved rainbows and I know it’s a sign from him. A sign that I did the right thing and that I need to move forward. A sign of emerging love. Maybe Pavel and I had a unique start, quite sick and toxic, too.

Nevertheless, no one made me feel what he made me feel. He makes me feel like I am at home. I am finally at peace. As strange as it sounds.

I look into Pavel’s eyes, and I say: “I love you too, asshole.” He starts laughing and I have never felt better.

THE END