Page 51 of His Lair

“Why?” Sammie asks with a raised brow.

“You’ll see,” I tell him as I continue to extend my arm in his direction.

“Okay…” Sammie sits up and holds out his hand, gesturing for the other shoe.

“Nope, that one first.” I nod towards the one in his hand.

He looks down at the shoe and then back at me. “You can’t put your left shoe on first,” he says with all seriousness.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not how putting shoes on is done,” he tells me.

“Why? Think it’s gonna bring you bad luck? Invite some kind of evil spirits in?” I’m doing my best not to laugh, because the look on his face is priceless.

“Yes,” he states simply.

“But you’re not superstitious and luck isn’t real, so it should be fine.” I shrug. “Put the shoe on, Sammie.”

“No.” He drops the shoe to the ground. “It’s not a superstition if it’s real.”

“Evil spirits and bad luck are going to surround you if you put your left shoe on before your right?” I can’t hold it back anymore. I laugh, so hard that I fall to the bed.

Sammie is on top of me within seconds. “I happen to be on a winning streak. I got you, didn’t I? You think I’m going to do anything to jeopardize that?”

“You got me? I’m not a thing you get to keep, Mr. Russo. I’m also not the trophy you seem to think I am,” I tell him.

This lying thing is getting harder by the day. The feelings are too much. I need to distance myself or come clean and tell Sammie the truth. Then again, the lines between this fictional character I’ve been portraying and the real me have become so blurred I’m not sureIeven know whoIam anymore.

I roll Sammie onto his back and jump off the bed. “I gotta pee,” I tell him, picking up my phone on the way to the bathroom.

I lock the door behind me, sit on the toilet, and tap at my phone screen. I’m spiraling. I know I am, and I need someone to tell me to stay focused. I pull up Emmanuel’s number and start typing out a message.

Me:

I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

E:

Do what?

Me:

Lie to Sammie.

E:

What are you lying to him about?

Me:

Seriously? Everything. Who I am. Why I’m here.

E:

I saw you at dinner, Lailani. You were you. You’re not lying to him about who you are.

Me: