Page 9 of His Hawaiian Heart (Stateside Doms #26)

I had no clue as to how long my pity party lasted, but when I finally came up for air, the camp was quieter and the interior of my tent was completely dark.

The fact that I was still fully clothed was the only reason I didn’t just wiggle under the thin blanket and go back to sleep.

Well, that and because my stomach was protesting my practically throwing my dinner into Sam’s face instead of stuffing it into mine.

A thought had me sitting up and swinging my legs to the floor.

I’d slipped a bag of nuts and some chunks of cheese into my backpack!

I was halfway to my feet when a vision of the last time I’d seen said backpack flashed into my head.

It had been hanging off Sam’s shoulder. In fact, the last time I’d seen any of my belongings he’d had possession of them.

“Great, just great. Not only am I starving, I’ll have to wear these same clothes for who only knows how long!

” I flopped back down on the cot. Before the pity party had a chance for an encore, a pressing matter had me sitting up again.

Any by pressing, I meant literally as my bladder was just about to burst. If I didn’t find the camp latrine soon, I’d not only be wearing these same clothes tomorrow, my pants would be wet.

It was time to snap out of it and be the grownup I was supposed to be.

That might take another few seconds because right now, I was waving my arms in front of me and shuffling my feet because I’d not bothered to learn the layout of my tent.

I had no clue where the table was that I was praying held a flashlight and didn’t want to add face planting in my tent to what I was afraid would find its way onto a list in my file about my severe lack of professionalism.

I might no longer be as thrilled as I’d expected to be on Dr. Davidson’s field team, but it wouldn’t be the first time I’d had to fake it till I made it.

My flailing hand whacked against something slightly above my left shoulder.

Another moment of groping and playing blindman’s bluff resulted in victory.

I hadn’t found a flashlight, but instead had discovered a lantern.

A brush of my fingertips around the edge located a button and pressing it, I muttered, “ lumos! ”

Did I forget to mention I was a huge Hermione Granger geek? She’d been a role model for me growing up as she’d been as inquisitive and as unapologetic for being exactly who she was as I strove to be.

Lit lantern in hand, I turned, located the flap, took a step, and almost had a stroke when I saw the light being reflected by what appeared to be something crouching in front of the zippered exit.

My heart pounded in my chest and I came within a nanosecond of actually wetting my pants before my brain recognized I wasn’t seeing the eye-shine of a living creature, but a mound of silver aluminum foil.

When my stomach returned to where it belonged after lodging itself in my throat, I bent down and picked up the plate.

It was a rather humbling lesson knowing that Cookie was willing to forgive me despite my rather ridiculous behavior.

But my stomach was going to have to wait just a bit longer.

I set the plate down on the small camp table across the tent from my cot and was unzipping the flap when I realized that I’d not bothered doing so when throwing myself on my cot.

Cookie had to have zipped it up after he’d placed the plate inside.

I prayed that by the time he’d hand-delivered my dinner, I’d gone from crying to sleeping.

I really didn’t wish to embarrass myself any further than I already had.

I finally made it out of the tent and around the circle of identical shelters.

A field sink provided water, and a bar of soap wrapped in an old sock and a towel allowed me to clean up a bit after I’d visited the porta potty.

It wasn’t as dazzling as I’m sure bathrooms in the resort hotels on the island were, but it served the purpose.

Bladder relieved and hands and face washed, I took some time to look around.

My lantern was the only source of artificial illumination once I stepped out of the range of the motion-activated light that had turned on when I was in our “bathroom”.

I knew there’d be more lights at the entrance to the mess tent as well.

The camp was quiet, but not silent. I could hear the faint sound of the ocean in the distance and the rustling from the forest made by small creatures who preferred the night over day.

The air was no longer scented with the smell of food, but of flowers.

My hand went to my chest to touch the lei I still wore.

Several of the blossoms were crushed from where I’d squished them when lying on my cot, but their scent joined those around me.

The sky above my head was filled with millions of stars and the breeze that brushed a curl over my cheek felt like a caress.

It was at that moment that I promised to put the recent past behind me and truly enjoy where I stood.

I may have briefly played the fool, but that didn’t mean I had to let it ruin this chance.

Hawaii was a land of beauty, a place of promises…

maybe not for love, but if I could find an answer that would help alleviate the pain of my fellow human beings inhabiting the earth, then I’d have made an impact instead of simply taking up space.

With a new attitude, my trip back to my tent was made with far less anger and a much lighter step.

If I stopped short at the sight of a pile outside my tent, it wasn’t due to fright.

It was in recognition that in order to truly start anew, one must not only forget the past but forgive those in it.

Samuel might be a forked-tongue slimeball, but at least he wasn’t a thief.

Sitting outside my tent was my backpack.

And though I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had, instead of dumping my clothes onto the ground, he’d not taken back the suitcase.

Even though I knew Sam was long gone, I found myself looking out at the forest and what I’d thought I’d seen in the depths of his eyes.

A recognition of a like-minded soul. A primal call from man to woman.

A promise of pleasure that would be mixed with a bite of pain that made it ever so much sweeter.

When my stomach clenched, I was grateful for the cramp. It turned me away from thoughts of what could have been and back to stark reality. I took the items inside my tent and left Samuel behind.