Page 23

Face the Past

Ozyn

T he very idea of returning to Abrocaelum, even though it had been my suggestion, filled me with such fear it yanked me from sleep several times a night in the days running up to us departing on our journey.

Deke knew enough about my willful nature that he did not try to convince me to stay back. We both had to go. The longer I went without facing the ghosts of my past, the harder it would be for me to step foot in Abrocaelum. With a clutch on the way, I couldn’t afford to cut off half our children’s heritage. They would need to be in touch with both parts of themselves.

Still, I knew he worried it was affecting me mentally, causing stress on our babies. Their sparks were so new it was difficult to tell how many there were. I had a rough idea. A teeny part of me wanted to be a tease and not say anything to Deke about their number until they were being laid. That was the bratty side which had only emerged under my caring alpha’s watch. Once I was sure, I would tell my mate so we could prepare properly.

Being with Deke had brought out aspects of my personality I hadn’t thought existed. Never would I have considered letting any of my former partners carry me around like he had. I was a king! Or rather, former king. It would have been degrading! Deke, though? He could carry me anywhere if it gave him comfort.

In my culture, we did not defer to alphas for matters outside of the home. Here, in Sweetwater, I knew things were different to the outside world where many groups of shifters still let alphas lead their families. Sweetwater contained matings that were true partnerships.

I thought about how Kade and Blake orbited around each other as if each was the moon. I had seen Jasper, Kade’s papa, how he was with Dakota, always treating each other as equals.

From what I knew about the poly bond Roan’s mate Hiroshi had with his mate, Tate, they lived a lifestyle more like dragon kind, yet there was not an alpha leading the home and an omega making the larger decisions. They did everything as a unit.

Axel had a more outside world type traditional relationship being naturally more submissive to his alpha husband. I suspected it was because he had longed to be an omega for so long. Teárlach was royalty, too, hence more dominant naturally.

If anything, the relationship which demonstrated more dragon-like tendencies was Larken and Dalton’s. The omega absolutely ruled their relationship but Larken was not above using his alpha influence on their children, which it was supposed to be used for.

It somewhat bothered me that omegas were still affected by alpha power outside of their Alpha, which was a natural benefit to their rule and all designations were supposed to fold to it. In dragon culture we stopped being controlled by it when we reached sexual maturity. As the leader of my flight, I had my own influence to wield over my people much like the power an Alpha would inherit when they took power in shifter groups if things worked the way they were intended to.

The Luna had changed the rules I knew to live by. Was it a test on her part? Was that why Sweetwater had so many betas changed to their chosen designations? It was reasonable to suppose she tested the mettle of alphas and clearly had found many of them wanting. Until Blake and shifters of his generation, that is. Ones so disillusioned after witnessing abuses their predecessors afflicted on those they should have protected.

My mind worked overtime thinking about my life in Sweetwater rather than what I was about to do: return to the Abrocaelum that haunted me.

I wondered if dealing with the fae and the castle where I’d been held for a century would allow me a measure of peace. Would I be able to sleep in the dark once more?

Our party was gathered at the portal waiting for us when we walked up, hand in hand. Deke was carrying our bag. We had a couple of days of clothing with us. I wanted to be there and back as soon as possible, but it was better to be prepared. Unlikely I would get my wish, but it paid to be hopeful.

“I heard from Vale! He’s waiting on the other side for us. Your sons, Gedith and Nhil are going to come with us.” Chase was practically bouncing on his toes in his eagerness to take to the skies once more.

The rest of our party did not look so enthused.

Safi stood slightly apart from the rest. Aldrin and James were conferring with each other. Only Chase looked excited.

“Let’s get going,” Deke said, nodding at the elves guarding the permanent portal to a town in Abrocaelum which stood firmly in the elven area of the realm.

We were travelling east to the fae territories. Specifically to the seelie fae castle. The unseelie had played a part in the war with us dragons and the fae, but their numbers had suffered far more greatly than the seelie fae. Thus they had pulled away from everyone to protect their people. We left them alone. Extinction was not what any of us wanted for any supernatural species. As long as they did not fight, we had no reason to hunt them.

Abrocaelum was warm and bright when we passed through the portal. As Chase had said, my brother was waiting with my sons. Vale greeted Chase like an old friend. I smelled trouble.

We’re splitting them up, Deke said dryly through our mating bond.

Good idea. Perhaps Gedith? Beta to beta?

“Alright,” Deke said aloud, “Vale could you take Aldrin and James? Gedith take Chase please, and finally, Nhil, would you mind taking Safi?”

“I wanted to take our new dad,” Nhil argued.

“No.” I glared at my son. “Only I will carry my mate.”

Nhil exchanged a look with his brother. “Told you it wouldn’t work. C’mon, Safi. Laer promised us a banquet for lunch if we made it there quickly.”

The dragons moved apart to shift. Once they made the change, each of their assigned passengers climbed on. The way Chase was whispering to Gedith made me reconsider the pairing.

More than once I saw Nhil looking through the portal. Had he wanted to see someone on the other side? I remembered his behavior before. Had he sensed something?

Everything alright? I asked my son privately.

Of course Papa, there’s just this feeling…

Like you need to be somewhere?

Yes. Is it what I think it is?

Your mate? Yes. It’s possible you have a mate bond in the human realm.

I think he’s in Sweetwater.

How do you know it is a male? There could be a pretty omega female waiting for you.

I felt his scoff. No, Papa. He just feels male. He will not be easy to convince we belong together.

Always trust your instincts. I have learned this the hard way.

When we return to the portal, may I visit for a day or two? Maybe I can find him in the pack.

We would love that. I know Deke would like a chance to get to know you better.

My son brushed by me affectionately, his head rubbing against my flank. Safi looked nervous sitting on his back.

“Everyone settled?” Deke yelled to the assembled dragons. Chase was laughing now, petting Gedith’s scaly neck while my son preened.

Aldrin nodded while looking pale. James wore a tight smile. I hoped they were up to the journey. Valethar would fly straight and true for the healer couple.

“To the skies!” I ordered, using magic to speak aloud for all to hear me.

Elves scattered, some fell as the backdraft from our wings blew them over. We lifted quickly, shooting higher and higher while our charges held on for dear life.

You’re as bad as Vale was with Chase, Deke was full of dry amusement. Competitive much?

I just want to get there so we can go home.

Right.

Up ahead, Gedith was in a race with us closing the gap. Mindful of his less enthusiastic passengers, Vale dropped back some. At the very back of our party, Nhil and Safi flew at a leisurely pace.

You better leave me something tasty for this, my brother said ruefully.

Of course.

Are you waiting for Uncle Vale? Gedith asked. Is that why you’re so far behind? Nhil, come on!

Are you letting Gedith bait you again? Deke was laughing.

Maybe.

I allowed Gedith to pull further ahead. He used some magic to ensure Chase would stay attached to him and performed some acrobatics with loud encouragement from the shifter on his back.

Dropping back more, I was wing to wing with my brother. Nhil closed the gap some.

This is lovely. Flying with you, Nhil, and Gedith that is, I told him.

Even flying slowly, I’m enjoying it. I’ve missed Laer. It will be good to see him.

Yes.

Are you alright about going back there?

Not exactly. Deke stroked my scales and ridge, feeling my anxiety. It is for the best. For the little ones.

Ah, I was wondering when you were going to tell us. Gedith! Nhil! He is pregnant! You’re going to be big brothers!

Congratulations, Papa. I cannot wait to meet them.

Congratulations, Papa. Safi told me he is going to be your nanny. Nhil’s words were warm, though I sensed his mind was still half in Sweetwater.

The castle loomed ahead. The courtyard was tighter than memory told me it was. Perhaps it was due to the re-building of the towers. We had to land one by one, shifting as soon as our passengers were down to have room for us all.

Standing next to the doors side by side, arm in arm, were Ulrian and Laer. My brother looked far too smug, so I knew his mating was going well.

“Welcome, all!” Ulrian greeted us far more warmly than I expected. “Please, come inside. Lunch awaits you.”

Inside the great hall the transformation was startling. All around the room the outside had been welcomed in. There was ivy curled around pillars, flowers sprouted in the cracks of bricks or plaster. It was like a reclaimed building. In fact, there was even a stream running through the room with tiny fish!

“Remarkable!”

“Thank you, Ozyn. I appreciate how difficult it must be for you to come here. I gather you had something to ask of me?”

The new fae king in waiting had dropped his human glamor. His long dark hair was loose save for a few braids around his tapered ears. Each of those ears was adorned with silver and gold. His glorious wings were the color of peacocks feathers. The jewel tones sparkled in the afternoon light.

Glorin had hated Ulrian for his savage beauty, which was why he had tried to marry him off to the elven queen away from his fated mate. Oh, I was sure Glorin knew Ulrian was to gain what he wanted most: a dragon child. I was glad for my brother and Ulrian that he had escaped an unhappy marriage though I had not.

Being back in the castle made my skin crawl. I did not want to linger if possible.

Getting to the heart of the matter seemed to be a talent of my future brother-in-law’s. Gratitude swelled within me at Ulrian’s efficiency. Rather than draw things out with a long meal, lots of speeches about uniting our people, he got right to the heart of the matter.

“I do. It’s good to see you in this place. You have made so many changes already.”

“Thank you. Anything I can grant you, if it is in my power to do so of course, then I shall grant it.”

Perhaps we would get away with just a night away from home. I really wanted to be back in Sweetwater with my mate.

Deke squeezed me close, my feelings open to him over our bond. I closed my family one to prevent them from worrying. I would never hide anything from Deke, though. He deserved to see my whole heart.

“We require some samples of moonroot,” I said. “Both in its form to use as a heat suppressant and also the plant form with roots. Also whatever seed or bulbs they require to grow new plants.”

Ulrian looked taken aback. “Why?”

Thankfully, Aldrin stepped closer to explain the situation to a wary Ulrian. It was natural the fae would have known their use.

“Oh, I had not thought of shifters desiring a lessening of heats. Fertility has always been low.”

Aldrin chuckled. “Not in Sweetwater. We have an omega who has a healing ability. He is due to go into heat very soon after only having babies weeks ago!”

“That is a remarkable ability!”

“It is,” Aldrin agreed. “The Luna has been very kind to our shifters. However, a heat with such young babies is inconvenient and the tonics he could use to prevent a pregnancy—“

“May be ineffective due to his ability. I see the issue. Do you think the moonroot will work?”

The two of them were joined by James. They launched into a conversation about the properties of moonroot and how it might not be seen as an agent to expel by Dalton’s ability. It was effective on dragons after all. His healing was similar to ours, so it was reasoned it would work, just in a higher dose than for a regular shifter.

“Come, eat,” Laer entreated us. “Let them chat. Ulrian, my love, do I have your permission to send someone for samples?”

“Ah, lunch first, Laeros. Then I thought we could escort them to the greenhouses to see if there are any in bloom.”

“You’re right, the scientists need to eat before they look for the plant.”

My brother was trying to be charming. Ulrian was not immune to him. I saw Safi watching the exchange with interest.

“Safilix, I wondered if we could make time for a conversation,” Ulrian said gently, approaching his youngest brother. “It has been many years since I saw you last. I would like to ask for a favor if you were willing to grant it.”

“Of course, my king.”

“I am not king yet. Please call me brother if you would like.”

Safi’s smile was tentative. “Of course, brother. I would like to get to know you a little better.”

“Does that mean you would like to stay? You are no longer labeled a traitor.”

My friend glanced at me, war clear in his expression. “Though that is very kind, brother, I think I should like to stay in Sweetwater for the time being. However, if I can grant you anything, I shall endeavour to do it.” He grinned at me, pride clear. “Ozyn has asked me to be his nanny, you see, and I think I shall like that task.”

“Oh that is a prestigious job! Congratulations little brother! We can discuss the favor later. There is no rush on it. I felt you would be suited to it.”

“Thank you.”

Ulrian steered Safi over to the food, leaving me alone with Deke.

“Doing okay?”

“Yes. I hate it here, but I am coping.”

“I’m proud of you for telling me how you feel, for keeping the bond open, and for how well you are handling being here.”

“It is not as bad as I expected. Ulrian has made it nicer in here. I feel his magic around me, wiping the stain his brother left behind.”

“Let’s eat, okay?”

By the time we sat down to dinner we had several shoots of the moonroot ready for planting, a small sample of dried moonroot ready to use on an omega, and one slightly unhealthy plant in a pot ready for some rehab.

Chase told us there were elemental demons who could work their magic on the plants, helping them grow healthy and strong in Sweetwater.

The plant had gone out of favor with the elves cracking down on fighting rings and Glorin losing interest in the practice. He’d given up keeping dragons aside from me under duress from his court. They hated how feral I got when more were trapped with me.

Hence the lack of moonroot. Some of the dried plants had to be disposed of, having turned. While what we got was better than nothing, Aldrin worried it might not be enough to treat Dalton. He really wanted to test it on another omega and not put pressure on Safi to remember how it was used.

Dinner was an elegant affair befitting a former king and a future one. We ate at a long table where I was close to my brother, Vale, and sons. Deke, as always, was next to me, giving me his support. He chatted easily with Chase seated across from us. Their teasing was easy and gentle, lightening the mood.

None of us were happy there was so little moonroot. With time and some magic from the demons, the coven too, it would flourish once more. Time was something in short supply.

After the meal was done, we were shown our rooms for the night. We would have a late breakfast, Safi would be brought before the court to formally receive his pardon and I would be given an apology with reparations. Once the ceremony was done, we would leave for home.

Our room was nice. Not too dissimilar to the one I was given prior to my moving into Glorin’s rooms. I hated it.

Deke led me through to the bathroom and washed me in the waterfall shower. I let him guide me into bed where he held me close.

“Not long until we go home,” he whispered in the low light.

“I can’t wait.”

Some time later, Deke drifted off to sleep. I could not rest. My entire being was on alert for every noise. My mind expected this to be unveiled as a trap at any moment.

Out. I needed to be outside.

Home. I wanted to go home so badly. To be surrounded by our friends in Sweetwater. To sleep in our comfortable bed with the sweet nightlight Kade had bought for me to help me rest when there were nights with no moon.

I slipped from my mate’s arms and the bed to go to the window. The moon was covered in fluffy clouds. There would be no sleep for me.

“Hey,” Deke’s soft voice came at my ear as he wrapped his arms around me. “Can’t sleep?”

“Not here, no.”

“How about that patch of grass over the other side of the wall?”

“What?” I jerked in his arms, surprised.

“Shift, carry me there. We can sleep in the grass together until morning. My wolf is restless. He woke me up when you got out of bed.”

“You’d do that for me? Sleep in the grass like some wild thing?”

“Ozzy, I’d do literally anything for you. Plus I love sleeping as a wolf. He’s very keen to sleep under one of your pretty wings. Whaddya say?”

“Alright. Take some clothes and a blanket please. I do not want anyone to see you shifted.”

“Okay. I’ve sent Chase a text telling him what we’re doing. He’s drinking with Vale, Laer and Ged. Nhil has gone to bed.”

Deke gathered what we needed while I climbed onto the balcony outside our window. Jumping into the air, I shifted, taking my clothes with me into it. When Deke was ready, I hovered using my magic, a wing tucked, to allow him to climb up onto my back.

We flew over the wall, scaring a couple of sentries in the process. I found an area with comfortable looking grass at the base of a hill to land. Deke slid off my back and began to strip.

Wait, I’ll shield you.

Silly dragon, no one can see.

I wouldn’t be too sure.

Covering him with a wing, I felt the change come over him. His wolf sniffed me before circling and finding a nice hollow to lie in. I curled up next to him, my wing his blanket.

It was easy to fall asleep once I set up a tiny bubble to protect us from the elements and to warn us of any attack.

There, under the open sky, I slept with my alpha who was worth his weight in gold. My love for him could not be measured. I did not have the words to express how deep it ran.

“I love you,” I murmured, curling closer to him. Loved, safe, and free.