Page 24

Chapter 24

Elijah Grant

Zack sat across from me inside the packed dive bar. I had texted him a couple hours earlier, not wanting to be stuck inside my apartment any longer. He showed up late and looking pretty stressed, blaming a brutal week of exams.

“Thanks for even showing up,” I said, grateful I could at least count on my best friend to help me feel normal.

“I’m here whenever you need me.”

It had been a week since Benji’s revelation, and I was still so fucking shaken over it.

He’d been watching me? He manipulated me? He fucking lied to me…

So then why the fuck did I miss him so much? I couldn’t make sense of my emotions. One side of me pulled far, far away from Benji, and the other side of me wanted to be back in his bed, curled up next to him, talking about random bullshit, laughing about dumb jokes, and having some of the best damn sex of my life.

It didn’t make any sense. Logically I should have deleted his number and blocked him and moved on with my life, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Not only that, but there was still the fact that Nomad was out there, and Benji had been the only one who’d really taken the threat seriously.

“Fucking hell,” I said, dropping my head into my hands. “Why does life have to be so damn messy?”

“Because if it wasn’t, then it wouldn’t be interesting. Duh.”

“I don’t want an interesting life. I want a nice, calm, happy life.”

“You say that now. But I’ve known you for years, and I know that being bored is your archnemesis. You’d hate a simple life.”

“Fine, then maybe not simple, but, like, I don’t know, not as fucking crazy?” I sighed and took a sip of my vodka cranberry. We sat in a dark corner booth inside the steampunk-themed bar. A stuffed deer head was above Zack’s, wearing steampunk goggles and a cute little hat. “I can’t believe I’ve been dealing with a stalker and dating one at the same time.”

Zack shook his head. “I’m sorry, Eli. I hate seeing you go through this.”

“It sucks. And I was really falling for Benji. I hadn’t felt that way with anyone. Anyone .”

Zack took a long chug of his drink, setting it down on the table. He looked out toward the crowded bar. His schoolwork really must have been catching up to him because he seemed exhausted. His hair had grown out over his ears, his beard looking scruffier than usual. Zack normally had a haircut scheduled like clockwork, so seeing him like this was weird. “How have you been doing?” I said. “I feel bad I’ve been so distant. But, well, you know why.”

“I completely get it. Do I miss my best friend? Yes, obviously. Am I upset at him? Yes, also.” He gave me a wink and a smile. “Seriously, though, I’ve been doing alright. Stressed as fucking balls, but I’m acing my exams, so there’s that.”

“Are balls usually that stressed?” I mused.

“Depends on how often you handle them.” He gave me another grin. I laughed and leaned back in my seat, the dark blue cushions of the booth sinking with me.

“Then my balls are extremely stressed lately.”

“Well, you know you always have a friend in me if you need someone to help you decompress.”

That got more laughter out of me. Zack knew that I saw him more as a brother than anything else, so I didn’t take his joke too seriously. “Thanks, Zack. I knew I could always count on you.”

“I’ve got you back… and your balls.”

My phone dinged against the scratched wooden tabletop. For a split second, I expected to look down and see “Detective” written across my screen.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

It was an email notification, the subject line reading “Self-tape audition opportunity.” I was going to send it directly to spam but figured why the hell not? If it was a scam, then I’d have just wasted a couple of hours of my life filming an audition, and if it wasn’t a scam, then…

“Hmm,” I said, setting my phone back down on the table. “Just got an audition for a featured role in a TV show filming here in the city.”

“No way, seriously? What show?”

“It doesn’t say. I guess they’ll send me the sides when I agree to the audition. I wonder how they even found me.”

“Your agent?”

“I haven’t talked to him in like a year. And he’s not cc’ed on the email.”

“Weird,” Zack said. “Can I see it?”

“Sure.” I slid the phone across the table. He looked over the email and offered me a shrug.

“Looks legit,” he said, handing me back my phone. “Maybe this could be your big break.”

“Maybe,” I echoed, my mind briefly drifting to the countless auditions I’d blown or given up on in the past. “It’s been forever since I’ve really chased acting. Life got in the way, camming took over, and I don’t know—I guess I just sort of accepted that my dreams would never really go anywhere.”

Zack gave me a stern look, eyebrows knitted together. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re talented. You’ve always been talented. You just let assholes get into your head.”

“You think so?” I asked, my voice sounding smaller than I intended.

“Of course. You lit up the stage every damn time you performed. Remember when you played Mercutio, and everyone fucking cried when you died? That was wild.”

I smiled, nostalgia blooming in my chest. “Yeah, that was a good night.”

Acting had always been my first love. A real passion of mine. I loved sinking into a character and living another life, pulling emotions out of myself and feeling them reflected back from the audience. I enjoyed theater the most because of that live aspect, but I also enjoyed playing for a camera as well. They were two very different mediums—film focused more on subtlety, and theater focused more on making sure everyone in the audience connected with you, even those sitting at the far back.

“Exactly. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been camming or dealing with whatever else. You deserve another shot at this.”

“Thanks, Zack. Seriously.” I reached across the table and gave my best friend’s hand a squeeze. “Means a lot.”

He smiled, squeezing my hand back. “Of course.” His expression darkened slightly as he withdrew. “Speaking of dealing with things… any updates on the Nomad front?”

My stomach twisted into a tight knot. “No. I mean… Benji was handling it, but now, that’s obviously not happening. I’m thinking about hiring someone else, maybe getting the cops involved again. It’s just—it’s hard to trust someone after that.” Saying it out loud made things feel all the more real. And all the more frightening.

Zack nodded sympathetically. “I don’t blame you. That was some next-level creep shit.” He hesitated, clearly choosing his next words carefully. “What did you even like about the guy?”

I sighed, swirling the ice around my empty glass. “Honestly? He was different. He felt… real. Genuine. I mean, despite the obvious.” I laughed bitterly. “I felt like I could just be myself around him. He never judged me, never made me feel weird about camming or anything else in my life. And, shit, Zack—the chemistry? It was insane. I’ve never connected with someone like that. It just felt right, like everything clicked effortlessly.”

The more I talked about him, the heavier the ache in my chest grew. Despite the betrayal, despite the lies, I still fucking missed him. Missed his smile, his laughter, the way his eyes softened when he looked at me. I missed falling asleep tangled up in him.

“I just… miss him. How fucked is that?”

“Damn, Eli,” Zack said softly. “You really fell hard, huh?”

“Yeah.” I choked out a laugh, eyes starting to sting. “And I feel like an idiot for it.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re human. We fall for people who hurt us sometimes. Doesn’t make you stupid, just unlucky.”

“So what do I do?”

Zack appeared surprised at my question. “What do you mean? I thought you cut ties.”

“I guess we kind of did, but also, not really? I still feel connected to him. And I want to give him the chance to explain himself when I’m not seeing red.” I dropped my head back and looked up at the black ceiling. Copper pipes crisscrossed above me, a couple of them letting off steam. “He’s a good guy. I want to know why he acted so, I don’t know, fucked-up.”

“What if he doesn’t have a good excuse?” Zack asked. “I really, really don’t want to see you keep hurting, Eli. You’re too good for someone who doesn’t match your level. You’re successful, and you’re handsome, and you’re letting this get way to your head, aren’t you?”

“Kind of,” I said with a smirk. “But keep going.”

“You got the point. I don’t want to see you with anyone that doesn’t deserve you.”

I cocked my head and smiled. Zack always knew how to lift me up. I could count on him to help combat whatever inner saboteur I faced in my life. “Thanks, Zack. But I—it might be dumb, considering the circumstances, but I really feel like even with everything that happened, there’s still something worth fighting for between Benji and me.”

“Just know that if he hurts you again, then I’m going to hurt him back.”

“Alright, tough guy, relax.”

Zack laughed. He pushed a blond strand of rogue hair off his forehead before he glanced down at his phone, his Cher wallpaper taking up the entire screen.

“So, enough about my messy life. What’s going on in yours?” I asked. I’d already taken up enough time bitching and moaning. Now, I needed to give my friend the space to do the same.

“The usual. School’s a bitch, but I’m acing my exams. I’ve been thinking about getting a new tattoo. Maybe another hummingbird or possibly a cool scythe on my shoulder.”

“Two very different vibes.”

“Yeah, I’m having trouble deciding.”

Before I could ask him to elaborate, my phone buzzed violently against the table, startling me. Fran’s name flashed on the screen. My heart immediately sank. She never called unless it was important.

“Fran? What’s wrong?”

“Eli, you gotta come home now. Someone broke in,” she said, her voice trembling and frantic.

“Fuck—are you okay? Where are you?” I shot out of the booth and motioned Zack to follow.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t here, I just got home—but our place is trashed, glass everywhere. They came in through the fire escape.”

“Shit, okay. Don’t touch anything. I’m on my way.”

Zack tossed a few bills on the table, and we bolted from the bar. My pulse hammered in my ears, my anxiety skyrocketing with every step.

This was my biggest fear come to life. And if Fran had been home and gotten hurt… I would have never been able to deal with the guilt. It would have fully wrecked me.

By the time we reached my apartment, my hands shook so badly I could barely open the door. Fran stood just inside, eyes wide and fearful, a police officer at her side. Behind her, our home was chaos—shattered glass scattered across the floor, furniture overturned, cushions torn open, stuffing spilling out like guts made of fluffy cotton. The room felt violated, dangerous. I could almost smell Nomad. Feel his presence inside my home. It stuck to me like an oil spill, clinging to my skin, slipping into my lungs and making it difficult to catch my breath.

“Oh my God,” I said, stepping carefully over shards of glass.

Fran’s voice wavered. “Who would do this, Eli? Why?”

My mind raced. Nomad. Had to be Nomad. Fuck. I turned around, heart hammering as I scanned the corners of the apartment.

“The cameras—” Fran began.

“I took them down.” My voice cracked, the reality crashing down hard. “Fuck, I took them down last week.”

Zack pulled me into a comforting hug. “It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.”

But it wasn’t okay. Nothing was fucking okay. It felt like nothing would ever be okay.

“Are you the other roommate?” the police officer asked me. She had a notepad in her hand and looked slightly bored.

“I am,” I said, feeling my knees start to shake. I leaned against Zack. He put an arm around my side and helped hold me up.

“Would you be okay with giving me a statement?”

“Yes, just… one second.” I reached for my phone instinctively, dialing Benji’s number. He’d know what to do. Maybe he had figured something out. Maybe it had triggered Nomad somehow. It rang and rang, finally clicking over to voicemail.

“Benji, please call me back. Something happened—I need you.”

The words hung heavy as I ended the call. Fuck. Despite everything, Benji was still the first person I thought to turn to.

And now, he wasn’t answering.