Page 18

CHAPTER 18

L ea

I had no idea what I was asking for.

But I don’t want him to stop.

Massimo is enormous. I didn’t realize a man could get this big—or this hard. I’m a virgin lost in a world I stumbled into, but one I don’t know how to escape.

His thick leather belt is tight around my neck. I feel woozy from the restricted blood flow. If his finger wasn’t protecting my windpipe, he’d choke the life out of me. And if his belt didn’t do it, his cock certainly would. It goes so deep in my throat every time his hips hammer forward that all I can do is suck until he lets me taste oxygen again.

This is doing something to me, too. The roughness. The intensity. My core is clenched tighter than it was when I felt his tongue, and the heat is radiating through my body. I can feel the need trickling down my thighs again. Burning with the same fire that is reflected in Massimo’s primal, icy blue glare. He’s been deprived of this for so long—too long. And I feel deprived, too, knowing that this could be the only time I ever get to feel him throb in my mouth.

I taste his saltiness on my tongue. Inhale his musk every time I’m yanked forward on his length. Yet everything about it arouses me. I want to brace myself on his thighs. Feel those muscles tighten every time I send another shudder of pleasure coursing through his veins. But my hands are stinging from that mistake. I won’t make it again. He’s in control, and my mouth belongs to him, until he’s done fucking it.

Every time his hips piston his impressive length into my throat, I imagine him between my legs. This same roughness. This same intensity. Claiming me as his—I’d give him everything , if he’d let me. I don’t care if he’s a criminal. Don’t care if he’s in the Mafia, and next in line for his father’s throne. I’ve seen the good in him. Nobody will ever take care of me or protect me like he does. I’d ignore everything else, if I could have that for the rest of my life.

But I can’t. Massimo’s fate is sealed and he won’t change his mind. The clock is ticking against us. Maybe he’ll draw his last breath with a smile on his face, because he got to feel alive one last time before it was all over. Or maybe I’ll be forgotten by then. It doesn’t matter. He’ll linger in my memories, regardless. I just want him—I can’t have his best days, but I’ll settle for the ones that are left.

“Are you ready, bambina ?” Massimo asks, his length going deep in my throat and staying there.

I don’t have to ask what it is. I already know. I can taste what is coming. Feel the urgent throbs and needy pulsations. But this is what I asked for. I moan my answer around his girth, unable to convey much more than a whimper. It seems good enough for him.

“Good girl,” he rasps, getting thicker in my mouth and stretching my lips.

I want to close my eyes, but I force them to stay open. He drives his cock into my mouth harder and faster. My lips feel like they’ll have bruises where he’s ground the flesh into my teeth, and my throat feels wrecked, but I’d endure anything to make him feel this good. I’d do it even if his days weren’t numbered.

Massimo’s frenzied thrusts shudder and his pulsations quicken a moment before he erupts in my mouth. His seed releases like the fury of a caged animal and I swallow, tasting him as the pulsations continue. I welcome his seed with whimpers and pleasurable moans, feeling proud of myself for being able to do something so intimate for him.

I don’t stop sucking until Massimo is completely drained. His breathing gets heavier and he lets go of the belt. I lick along the bottom of his shaft as he pulls away, tasting one final drop before he leaves my mouth. I look up at him, awaiting further instructions. Awaiting correction, if I did something wrong. The look in Massimo’s eyes tells me he’s satisfied.

“You’re incredible, bambina ,” he praises, his fingers untangling from my hair and tracing my jaw. “Simply incredible.”

“I’ll do it again, if you let me,” I offer, finally able to breathe properly. “All you have to do is tell me to open my fucking mouth.”

He laughs, probably because the word fucking sounds so strange coming from my lips. He kneels on the bed and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a warm embrace that feels so protective I don’t want him to ever let go.

“If things were different, you’d hear that a lot,” he mutters. “But I’d never settle for that—not if you were mine.”

“Then tell me to open my fucking legs,” I mewl, leaning against him and nuzzling his chest. “You can have me, Massimo. All of me. I’m yours.”

“No, Lea,” he sighs. “That wouldn’t be fair. After I’m gone, you’ll meet someone. A girl as pretty as you won’t have any trouble.”

“I don’t want anyone else.” I feel myself tearing up and blink the tears away. “I’ll never recover from losing you. You’re not that easy to forget.”

“You barely know me, bambina ,” he grumbles.

“I know enough,” I insist.

Massimo lowers himself to the mattress and I snuggle close to him. His powerful arms keep me in a protective, possessive embrace. I may not be his forever, but I’m his right now. If that’s all I can have, I’ll cling to every moment like I’m currently clinging to his mountainous physique. He’s rigid and stiff for a while, but then he relaxes, and I hear his breathing change. I glance up and notice he’s dozed off.

I’m tired too, so I let the exhaustion take me, falling asleep in the only arms that have ever held me.

The only arms I ever want to hold me.

I sleep through the rest of the day, and into the night. It’s late when I finally stir and notice Massimo hasn’t moved at all. My stomach is growly, and I could use some food, but I don’t want to leave his embrace. I snuggle in tighter, and the next time I open my eyes, daylight is peeking through the windows. I’m alone in the bed, which causes a flutter of concern, but his side is still warm.

When I sit up and rub my eyes, I smell coffee. I wrap the sheet around me and pull it off the bed, letting it drag behind me as I walk to the main part of the penthouse suite. A loud thud causes me to jump back, but then I see Massimo carrying a tray.

“Good morning,” he says, nodding to me. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I haven’t slept that long in years.”

“Do I get credit for that?” I ask apprehensively, unable to hide my smile.

“You get all the credit in the world, bambina ,” he says, putting the tray near the table and walking over to me. In an instant, I’m in his powerful embrace again. “Thank you. I hope I wasn’t too rough with you.”

“Not at all,” I whisper, leaning against his bare chest. “I can handle you, Massimo.”

My tongue traces my bruised lip. A swallow leaves my throat a little uncomfortable. But I don’t care. I’m buzzing with something new. Something incredible, like seeing snow for the first time or standing in front of a roaring fireplace after having enough of the cold weather. Massimo is the reason for that. He’s changed everything I thought I knew about the world in a matter of days. What could he do if we had longer?

“Let’s eat, and then we’ll head out, if you’re feeling up for it,” he says. “If not, we can wait until tomorrow.”

“No, you promised I’d get to swim with the sharks,” I laugh, looking up at him. “I was scared after what happened yesterday, but I’m a little intrigued to see what kind of danger is waiting in the Pacific.”

Massimo chuckles and helps me into my seat. Nothing in the Pacific Ocean is as dangerous as the man who sits down across from me. I’ve seen him kill without hesitation, but I’ve also seen his pain. And I’ve seen the beauty beneath his ink. The good that beats in his heart, despite what he says.

My hunger takes over as soon as I get some food on my plate, so we mostly eat in silence. After we’re done, we clean up, shower, and get ready for the day. Since I’ll be in the water, I put on a swimsuit under my t-shirt and cut-off jean shorts. I walk into the main part of the suite and Massimo emerges from his bedroom a few minutes later. He’s dressed in jeans, a t-shirt that seems even tighter than the one he wore yesterday, and his hiking boots.

“Where do you think you’re going in those shorts, la mia bambina ?” he growls, narrowing his eyes.

“Uh, everywhere except the ocean,” I laugh, pulling my shirt up to show my swimsuit. “They’re coming off before I see the sharks.”

“I should put you over my knee,” he grumbles. “If you were mine, I’d never let you walk outside in something like that. But suit yourself.”

“I-I’ll change,” I stammer, hurrying back to my bedroom before he can say anything else.

I’ve never been comfortable showing much skin, but I didn’t think the shorts were that bad. Obviously, Massimo disagrees. I peel them off, toss them in my suitcase, and grab my jeans. I’m able to kick my sneakers off and slip them back on without bothering with the laces.

“You didn’t have to change,” Massimo grunts when I step back into the main part of the suite. “I don’t have a say— can’t have a say.”

“I may not be yours, but I’m going to pretend I am,” I say, meeting his gaze. “As long as I can.”

“Then get your ass over here,” he snaps, pointing at his feet.

I walk over without hesitation, even though I’m not sure what to expect. Massimo grabs my arm, spins me around, and bends me at the waist. Then I get several hard slaps on my bottom that make me dance on my toes.

“That’s for the shorts,” he says, slapping my ass a few more times before letting go. “Since you want to pretend you’re mine.”

“Ow,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my jeans and pouting. “No shorts, got it. Are you going to spank me again if I have to take off my jeans to swim with the sharks?”

“No,” he says. “I’ll just throw the boat captain into the water with the chum if he dares to look anywhere below your neck.”

“Seems… a bit drastic,” I say, my eyes getting wide.

“I don’t think so,” he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the motion sickness patches. “We’ll go with one behind each ear to be safe.”

I move my brunette curls out of the way so Massimo can put the patches on. His fingers are gentle again, and I tingle a little as they brush against my skin. Then they’re gone, and all I can do is sigh.

“Let’s go,” he says, motioning for me to follow him.

I notice Massimo has a gun tucked into the back of his jeans, but I don’t mention it. I’m becoming a lot more comfortable with firearms after what happened yesterday. If he hadn’t gotten his hands on the shotgun, horrible things could have happened to me.

Massimo leads me to the elevators. I touch his hand and rub my fingers along his while the elevator descends. I can’t tell if he’s okay with the show of affection or not, but he doesn’t pull away, so I let my hand linger there. Only a little more and we would be holding hands. But that gesture would probably be too romantic. Too much for what we’re sharing in his final days.

It’s Wednesday.

On Saturday morning, Massimo is going to die, and I’m supposed to go back to living my life the way I did before I met him.

I’ve never felt more directionless.