Page 19 of His Bear Hands (Bear Creek Grizzlies #1)

19

SIMON

I t took more courage for Simon to walk into the bar to face Zoe than most things in his past required, even when he'd run into buildings full of guys who wanted him dead. That was nothing compared to the sheer devastation she could wreak with just a few words.

He sat across the table from her, so he could see every inch of her and faced her head-on. And he thanked Rosie for leaving the whiskey on the table so he could get a little liquid courage before he talked to Zoe about staying. Simon folded his hands on the table after two or three shots and took a deep breath. "First of all, Tate is fine. Well, he was fine when I left him. Since Rosie headed that way, I can't be sure."

A hint of a smile crossed her expression and something in Simon's chest eased. He concentrated on the peanut shells on the table, though, and stirred the mess with his finger as he went on. "The game wardens showed up, along with the sheriff and a few other cops, to arrest Castellano and his guys for poaching."

"Poaching?" Zoe sat up, frowning.

"Yep." Simon smiled as he tipped a little more whiskey into both of the shot glasses and nudged one towards her. He always found it easier to speak from the heart with a little booze. "What else could they be doing, running around in the forest with a bunch of rifles and camouflage, but illegally hunting? We take that very seriously around here, particularly since Cooper swears up and down he saw them take a shot at a couple of bear cubs."

Zoe shot him a sideways look. "Mick Castellano is an organized crime boss with friends all the way up through the Justice Department and into the Senate. I know that for a fact — I cooked books for all of them. Do you really think any of that will stick?"

Simon smiled. "You don't know our game wardens. Besides, didn't they get Al Capone on tax evasion?" That shadow of a smile reappeared, and her shoulders relaxed a little. Simon knocked his knuckles on the table. "So that's taken care of for now. I made it clear to Castellano that there will be hell to pay if we see a hint of him or his guys around here. He's all busted up anyway. From the car accident."

A giggle escaped and Zoe's green eyes grew wider. "The car accident, or the bear accident?"

His bear liked hearing her giggle, wanted to hear a full body laugh. Wanted to see her let loose with joy. Fling her head back and shout to the world, spin around like a dervish. He wanted to pick her up and spin with her until they were both so dizzy they fell down. He cleared his throat and tried to keep from beaming rainbows at her. "As far as the cops are concerned, it was a one in a million car accident. With some strange claw marks in the roof. That could have come from anywhere."

She rested her chin on her elbow and watched him, and some uncertainty crept back into her expression.

Simon went on before he lost the rest of his courage, or had to search for it in the bottom of the bottle. "And since Castellano is out of the way, or mostly out of the way, Tate said that means you can go back to California. If you want."

Zoe went still.

"Only if you want." Simon tried to quiet the bear and his grumbling at the thought of suggesting she leave. "I want you to stay. I want you to stay here with me, at the lodge. Forever. Stay with me."

She didn't speak. The silence stretched.

Simon's heart started to pound. He cleared his throat and spread his hands on the table. "I'll get better wifi. I'm sure there's a way to make sure everything connects. And better generators, so your computers will always work. I'll try that business software you wanted, and if you want to do all the books, I would love it. I would. And if you want nothing to do with the lodge or the business, I'd love that too. Whatever you want, Zoe. Whatever it takes for you to stay, I'll do."

Her forehead wrinkled, and he talked faster, the words tripping over each other until he didn't know if she could even understand him. "I'll show you how to be a bear. How wonderful and freeing it is. We can go fishing at dawn, and running through the meadow in fall when the leaves are turning and the air is crisp. And — and I'll build you a den. A cabin behind the lodge, I know the perfect location. So it'll be just us. No guests, no Ethan or Cooper or the rest of the guys. Just you and I. Just — stay, Zoe. Please stay."

She breathed a little faster, her chin wobbling as she looked at him. Her voice broke. "But what about Tate?"

"What about Tate?" Simon looked at her, struggling to understand. What the hell did he care where the mountain lion went? "Well, he can stay if he wants, or he can go back to California and do what Tate does. If you want him to stay, I'll chain him up in our basement."

A brief smile, despite the way she trembled, and Zoe fiddled with the basket of peanuts. "What did you mean when you said I'm your mate? What does that mean?"

He took a deep breath. A dive bar in the middle of the afternoon, shortly after a series of near-death experiences, was not his idea of a place to have a romantic conversation. "My bear recognized you, the first night we met. There's supposed to be one perfect person, in the entire world, for each of us. Sometimes people search their entire lives, looking for that person, and don't find them. So when you walked in with Tate, I almost didn't believe my luck." Simon desperately wanted to touch her, wanted to smooth the worry lines from her forehead.

"Is that why you turned me into a bear? So we would match?" She hesitated as she asked, and started peeling the label off the whiskey bottle.

He couldn't take it anymore and caught her hands in his, tangling their fingers together. "Yes and no. Whether you stayed human or not didn't matter — I loved you exactly as you were, and I love you exactly as you are. I turned you because that was the only way to save you. And I couldn't live without you. I can't live without you. Zoe, the thought of losing you..."

His voice broke and he cleared his throat, frowning fiercely as he leaned on the table and studied her hands. Her wrists were bird delicate under his fingers, all of her fragile in his hands. "I couldn't take it. And this morning, when Castellano's guys were shooting at us at the lodge, all I could think about was you. Where you were, if you were in trouble or afraid or in pain, how fast I could get to you, how many people I needed to kill to keep you safe. You're my air, Zoe. Without you, I can't breathe."

By the time he finished, she was crying. He felt even worse. He made her cry.

Zoe's hands shook in his and she tried to brush away the tears but he couldn't stand to let her go, to lose an inch of contact, so she ended up shrugging her shoulders and wiping her cheeks on her shirt. She snuffled and squeezed his hands. "I have one condition. Well, two."

"Anything," he said. He almost launched over the table to hug her. She would stay. She wanted to stay. "Anything you want, Zoe, it's yours."

"I want to buy that land you talked about." She set her shoulders and got that determined look on her face that was so adorable he almost couldn't stand it. Simon had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything. Zoe frowned at him, even as more tears shimmered in her eyes. "So there's more room for your trips and cabins and the adventure camp. And for bear things."

"Bear things?" He struggled not to laugh.

"Right. Hunting and climbing trees and roaming around. Right? Isn't that what bears do?"

Simon couldn't wait and lurched up to drag her to her feet so he could kiss her. He wanted to breathe her in, to taste her, hold her close until she smelled like him and no one would ever doubt their connection. He held her close and chuckled, stroking her hair back so he could see her face. "I can't wait to show you what bears do, Zoe. I really can't."

She snuggled into his embrace and rested her cheek on the flat plane of his chest, her hand resting just over his heart. "And I want to build that cabin behind the lodge. So it's just ours. And you let me sleep in until at least nine. At least. Ten would be better."

He laughed, squeezing her so he could lift her off the ground and spin them both around. "You'll be my mate, Zoe? Stay with me and be my mate?"

"Maybe eleven," she said, voice muffled against his shoulder.

Simon put her back on her feet and held her at arm's length so he could see her green eyes and that hint of a smile, the laughter he heard in her voice but desperately wanted to see on her face. "Zoe Stewart, will you be my mate?"

Her eyes searched his and her palms rested flat on his cheeks, maybe so she could feel his smile when the beard hid his joy. In that too serious voice she used, she said, "Yes."

And that was enough to set him spinning again, carrying her with him until they whirled through the bar and knocked over tables and chairs and almost broke the bottle of whiskey. He didn't care at all. He didn't want to stop dancing with her for even a moment.