13

When Moira opened her eyes the next morning, she was shocked to see a sleeping Niall beside her, then she remembered what had happened the night before. At the thought of it, a wave of warmth swept over her, something both physical and emotional. As she looked at his handsome face, she could not believe that a man like this would look twice at her, scarred and imperfect as she was. She had nothing to offer him, and had been honest with him about that, but he had not cared, he still wanted her.

Then she became suspicious. Had he merely wanted to enjoy her body, then discard her? However, deep inside herself, she knew that was not true. What had happened between them the night before had not been the act of two strangers who had come together for a passing fling, but a true connection of souls.

Moira had seen the depth of love in his eyes, and felt the tenderness with which he touched her. She was not just someone who could be used and thrown away; she was his, and he was hers.

Moira studied Niall as he slept, noting how calm and relaxed he was compared to the rigid, authoritative posture he adopted as a Laird. She suspected that she was seeing the real Niall, the man who lived inside the formidable exterior he presented to the outside world. Behind closed doors, his heart of gold could shine brightly, and Moira was infinitely glad she had seen it. She would never look at him in the same way again.

Sadness overcame her when she thought that she could not stay and explore what was between them more. However, she had nothing to offer him, whereas the woman he was going to marry had wealth and status. If it came to another battle between the McPhees and other families, could Moira produce an army to fight for him? No, it was impossible.

Then Moira smiled as she thought how happy she was that she had seen what he kept hidden under his clothes! Even the thought of his powerful body, which was so close to hers, was arousing her again, and she chastised herself for her wantonness. Yet even though she knew it was a natural response to the nearness of this beautiful man, in a strange way she was enjoying the feeling of wickedness.

Just then, Niall opened his eyes. For a few seconds he looked rather startled, then he smiled at her and kissed her lips softly.

“Good morning.” Moira greeted him with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Better than I have for years,” he replied, yawning and stretching, showing Moira the expanse of his beautiful body once more.

Unbidden, a memory of her husband’s scrawny frame came into her mind, but she shooed it away, and revelled in the sight of the truly magnificent sight before her. The contrast was like night and day.

At the sight of him, Moira realised she was naked, and hastily drew her bedsheets up to her chin, but Niall merely laughed and pulled them gently down again.

Moira, my love,” he said, “don’t be so modest. After what we did last night, there is absolutely no need to be. Sharing your lovely body with me was the greatest gift I have ever been given.”

“But I have so many scars,” Moira protested. “I feel so ugly.”

“No more scars than I have,” he said. “And you are certainly not ugly. In fact, they only make you more lovely in my eyes because I know you have been through the same hurt and pain as I have. We share that, so we understand each other, and I would never have dreamed that someone as fierce as you would be shy. I’m seeing another side of you now, and it makes me love you even more.”

Tears pricked Moira’s eyes as she gazed at him, this man she loved more than life itself. He leaned in to kiss her and his chest touched her breasts, almost setting them both on fire again.

“I wish you could stay with me like this forever,” Niall said sadly. “We could wake up in the morning and kiss each other, make love whenever we wanted. I could have beautiful dresses made for you, and we could have lovely children who look like you.”

Moira smiled. “I never had an example of a good mother to follow, and neither did you. If we ever had children, would we even know how to bring them up properly? I would hate to give them a childhood like ours.” Then she shook her head. “But that will never happen, Niall. It is a fantasy—a beautiful fairy story. Your bride is arriving any day now, and I must be gone before she gets here.”

“How do you know when she’s coming?” Niall asked, frowning.

“Glennie told me,” Moira replied.

Niall laughed. “Glennie!” he said fondly. “I should have known. But you know that she wants you to stay, too. She has told me countless times.”

“I know.” Moira wiped her eyes. “She is the only friend I have ever had, Niall.”

“Then stay.” He cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “I would do anything to keep you here with me.”

Moira gave a gasp of fear as her mind leapt back to her husband’s treatment of her, but Niall quickly saw his mistake. “No, Moira! I would never imprison you here,” he said tenderly. “But I wish there was some way I could make it possible.”

“You and I are not destined to be together.” Moira’s voice was firm, but sad.

“And what are you going to do when you leave here?” Niall asked, frowning. “You said something about an aunt in Aberdeen.”

Moira sighed. “She is my father’s sister,” she replied. “I just wanted you and Glennie to stop asking me questions, so I told you that to satisfy your curiosity. I will never go there, believe me. I would not be welcomed with open arms.”

Niall gazed at her, taking in Moira’s sad and desolate look. He guessed rightly that Moira wanted to stay at Baltyre as much as he desired her to. As well as that, he wished that he could call off his wedding, or go through it with a different bride.

He imagined Moira coming down the aisle towards him, looking as fresh as a spring flower in a pale blue satin dress. She would be dedicating her future to him, putting her whole life in his hands, and he would welcome it, cherish it, and join it with his forever. If only. If only it could really happen, he would be the happiest man on earth.

Could he somehow make it so? He had to find out what she wanted to do next; perhaps he could come up with a better suggestion, something that would keep Moira here beside him, although her determination to leave seemed implacable.

“So if you are not going to your aunt’s,” he said, stroking her shining blonde hair gently. “Where are you going? Do you have any kind of plan?”

This was the question Moira had been dreading. Her mind had been so full of Niall that she had not been able to think of anything else, and she was up against the same problem as before; money, or lack of it. Still, she thought, she had enough to get by for a little while, and during that time she would think of something, even if she had to work in a tavern or become a chambermaid.

“I do have a plan,” she replied. “But it’s best that you don’t know about it, Niall.”

He looked at her, exasperated, wondering why Moira was always so secretive. Surely, she knew by now that he meant her no harm. On the contrary, he would protect her with his life. And after the night before, he had shown her all the love that was in his heart. Why was she still so hesitant? What was she holding back from him?

“If you do leave, sweetheart,” he said tenderly, “know that you will always have a place here in the castle. I will always protect you, never fear.”

“Remember what you told me about not wanting trouble with the other local Lairds?” Moira arched a brow mischievously as she looked at him.

“That was before I came to know you, Moira,” he replied. “Do you not trust that I would do anything for you? If you leave, I will be heartbroken.” His expression was infinitely sorrowful.

Moira smiled at him sadly for a long moment. “Niall.” She sighed and shook her head slowly. “There is no ‘if’, only ‘when’. I do not want to fight with you over this, but I have told you dozens of times now that I cannot stay. I want to, more than anything in the world, but it is just impossible. Anyway, what would your wife say when she saw me? How are you going to explain my presence to her? You could call me Glennie’s companion, I suppose, but I doubt that story would convince anyone for too long. Face it, Niall. We are not fated to be together.”

Niall got out of bed and paced restlessly to the window, looking out at the stormy morning. Moira watched him, admiring his tight buttocks and muscular thighs. There was another livid scar halfway up his back, but it only added to his manliness, in Moira’s opinion. It was a sign of bravery and determination, and said much about his character. How she loved him!

“Then I will call off the wedding,” Niall declared firmly. “I made the bargain with the Maxwells under duress because it seemed that there was no better choice, but there must be some other way to secure our alliance. I’m not even sure if Beitris is keen on the marriage. Perhaps she is as reluctant as I am. Maybe I can persuade her not to marry me, and we can work out something else.”

He was frowning deeply and ran his hand backwards through his thick hair in a gesture of extreme agitation.

Moira sighed and rose to her feet, then padded across the room to stand behind him. Niall turned and put his arms around her, then drew her close so that their bodies were pressed together from chest to knee. He sighed and laid his cheek on Moira’s hair, then said, “You were made for me, Moira, don’t you see?”

Moira felt her eyes begin to prickle with tears, and her throat became choked with the effort of not weeping. Made for him? Yes, she knew that. If ever two people on earth belonged together, it was Niall and her, but there was no way that would ever happen.

Niall felt Moira’s nearness affect him at once as his manhood hardened against her, and for a short while he tried to resist her, telling himself that he needed to be in his study. He had to start work for the day and could not allow himself to become distracted, no matter how alluring and lovable Moira was.

Yet, he had a very capable steward who would quite happily do his job for an hour or two, and what if he never had the chance to be alone with Moira again? This might be their last chance.

Moira sighed and kissed his neck, and Niall gave a moan of pleasure and tightened his arms around her. “You temptress,” he whispered longingly.

Moira laughed. She could happily have stood in his arms for hours, but she knew he was a busy man and had little time to spare. Yet, she could not bear to tear herself away from him, knowing how little time they had together.

Niall put Moira away a little to look into her eyes again. “You know that we will shortly both have broken hearts?” he asked. He wiped away a tear from her eye. “So why do we not make the most of this stolen time? I am still a free man, and you are a free woman, so why can we not make love as we both want to?”

Moira hesitated, not wanting to seem too eager, until Niall took her hand and wrapped it around his shaft, which was hard and eager.

She smiled lovingly at him, then stood on tiptoe to kiss him, softly at first, then, as she tasted his lips, her own arousal surged into life. She was becoming lost in him again before sanity returned, and she gently pushed him away.

“You have to go,” she said regretfully. “My maid will be here soon, and you will not be able to sneak out. If you’re found here, the news will be all over the castle in a few minutes.”

Servants’ gossip was notorious for spreading like wildfire, and the story of the handsome Laird in the bedroom of a woman who was not his intended was scandalous indeed!

“I am the Laird here, and I say where I can go in this castle,” Niall said angrily, then he let out a heavy sigh as he went back to the bed and sat down on it, once more drawing her onto his lap. He looked at her searchingly. He felt as if he was trying to read her mind through her pale, ethereal eyes.

“Moira, what are you not telling me?” he asked, frowning in concern. “What is your secret? Tell me and I will help you to find a solution to your problem. I told you that I would call off my marriage if you asked me to, all you have to do is let me know what is troubling you.”

He watched her carefully for a few moments and could almost see the thoughts chasing each other through her mind. He had no doubt that she was considering his offer.

Moira looked down at her hands to avoid his eyes. She was so tempted to tell him the truth that she actually opened her mouth to do so, but closed it again quickly. Despite the fact that she loved him, she could not tell Niall about her husband for fear that he might think that she had murdered him. Even if he took her side and decided to protect her, it would always come between them.

“Niall, I am not worth the trouble of a broken betrothal,” she said at last. “Please don’t ask me again because my answer will be the same, and I have no secret to share with you. I am just another ordinary woman.”

“You are anything but ordinary to me,” Niall replied, before he stood up, picked up his kilt and began to dress again. When he was finished, he moved over to stand in front of Moira again. “If you change your mind, Moira, come and tell me. I am here for you at every hour of the day and night.”

Moira nodded because her throat was too choked with tears to speak. She watched Niall close the door behind him, then threw herself on the bed and cried until she had no tears left.