Page 17

Vivian

My phone buzzed just after ten on Monday morning.

I was wide awake but still in bed, curled on my side and clutching a pillow as I replayed the weekend’s events over in my head for the hundredth time.

I smiled when I saw Kit’s name flash across the screen, surprised she’d waited until midmorning to call.

“Hey hot stuff.”

My BFF didn’t waste time. “How did it go? Tell me everything!”

I rolled onto my back and stared at the peeling paint on my ceiling. “It was… intense. Right from the start.”

She exhaled into the line. “Yeah, I heard what happened after the auction. The table and the crowd.”

Of course she had. The sex club might be exclusive, but gossip traveled fast, especially when someone got publicly humiliated and made to come in front of an audience.

If there was anyone I could be honest with, it was Kit.

“He made me squirt in front of a room full of people, and they all cheered. Then he made me come, and they cheered again . But instead of being horrified, I was turned on. In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it.” My throat tightened. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

She didn’t hesitate when she replied, “Absolutely nothing. You’re allowed to like what you like.”

“I mean, it was humiliating. I should’ve hated it—”

“Did you consider using your safe word?”

I blinked at the ceiling. “I, uh, never told him what it was.”

“What?” Kit snapped. “Viv, what the hell?”

“I know,” I said quickly. “But the truth is… I don’t think I would’ve used it. Not once this whole weekend.” I pressed the phone to my ear and exhaled. “Even though it was a lot.”

“Like good-a lot, or you’re curled in a ball questioning your life choices-a lot?”

“Both?” I winced. “It wasn’t what I expected. He was… rough and controlling. But also… not.”

“Not?”

“He held me after. Told me I was safe.” I paused. “Then the next morning, he made me eat breakfast after he’d had me lie with my legs spread on the counter while he cooked.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. It was degrading. And I was so wet I wanted to die.”

Kit let out a low whistle. “Girl…”

“I know, I’m fucked up.” I covered my face with a pillow as I listened to her response.

She didn’t miss a beat “No, you’re not. But if it doesn’t feel right, you need to use a safe word.”

“It does,” I whispered. “That’s what scares me.”

“Babe, you’re two consenting adults, you do you. Let that freak flag fly.”

“I didn’t even know I had a freak flag until Friday.”

“Well, now you do. Enjoy it, and don’t feel ashamed about it.”

I was still coming to grips with this new side of me. “I’ll try my best.”

“So, you’re at your apartment until Friday? Does that mean you’re working this week?”

I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah. I’ve got the night shift tonight and Thursday, and the lunch shift Tuesday and Wednesday. I really need the money.”

There was a pause. “Do you feel okay going back?”

“It’s just dancing,” I said quickly. “I’ve done it a thousand times.”

But even as the words left my mouth, something about them felt off. Like maybe it wasn’t just dancing anymore. Had I always had a voyeur kink and just never knew it?

“Let me know if you want to hang out sometime this week.”

“I will. Thanks for checking on me.”

“Of course. You’re my ride or die. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

If only it were that simple.

My dad was dead, but the loan sharks he owed didn’t care, and I’d sold myself to protect my mom, sister, and family dog.

Now I was collared, used, and fucked—in more ways than one.

And part of me wanted more.

I didn’t have time to unpack it, a thousand dollar loan shark payment was due, and I was still a couple hundred short. I had a night shift to make.

By seven, I was back onstage at the club, strutting around with pasties on my nipples while the bass thumped through the speakers.

Same stage, same pole, but something was different now.

It was me.

I used to feel powerful up here, like I was the one in control.

But tonight, as I wrapped myself around the pole and dropped into a slow grind, it didn’t feel like power.

It felt hollow. Pure muscle memory without a trace of seduction.

I went through the motions. Made eye contact. Blew kisses.

But my body remembered something else.

Rough hands. A voice telling me to spread wider. The ache of being used and owned.

And I hated how much I missed that.

****

Jeff

It was Wednesday, and I hadn’t been able to focus since Monday.

A patient file sat open in front of me, but I’d read the same line four times without processing a single word.

But it wasn’t work that had me distracted, it was her.

Vivian.

This whole thing had started as a way to punish her for turning me down that night at the masquerade, then picking someone else.

Fucking Bradford.

So, I’d bought her.

I’d outbid the bastard just to bring her to her knees and remind her who she rejected.

It should’ve been satisfying, and for a while, it was.

But now?

I leaned back in my chair and dragged a hand down my face. I could still feel the weight of her on the pillow at my feet. Still hear that soft gasp when I’d shoved my cock in her ass. Still see the way she smiled, just a little, when she told me her favorite subject was social deviance.

She was supposed to be my whore. One month to control and use.

So why the fuck did I keep thinking about how she looked eating eggs across from me? Why did that little snort when I told her I liked control stick in my head?

That moment had been too real. Too... normal. She’d looked at me like I was something more than just her owner. And worse, I’d liked it.

I told myself this was about power and teaching her a lesson. She didn’t really matter. At least not beyond the contract.

Still, I should’ve gotten her number.

Not to talk or check in to see how she was doing, but just to make sure she was following the rules.

That was all.