Page 13

Chapter

Eleven

Adara

A dara’s skin felt slimy. The worst of it was, there was no way to get it off.

After she’d told Hagan, Thor, and Grumbheld to handle the Grahame and Ridley liaison, she’d had Bhlaine heat water for a bath.

Vigorously scrubbing herself hadn’t wiped off her self-loathing.

Only when she was pink as a rose petal did she wash her hair, needing the wet scent of dungeon and Grahame to be washed away. Still, the sensation remained.

Dressed in her nightclothes, Adara sank into the wide, velvet-cushioned chair before the fireplace.

The heat ate its way into her bones, easing them in a way the bath hadn’t.

A half-scoff, half-laugh cut from her. Her entire time living at Clayton House, she had hated this room, this too-hot fireplace.

When Elvin had pinned her to the bed to satiate his lust, when he’d forced her to perform various acts she detested, the bloody fire was always roaring.

The large room, with its huge tapestries and thick carpets, had always felt too warm in comparison to her smaller, colder chamber next door.

Only after Elvin’s death did she feel comfortable in the space, accepting its warmth for what it was: a luxury.

And her old room? Currently occupied by the one man she couldn’t stop thinking about.

Impatient with herself, Adara took the woven blanket from the back of her chair and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Just before her bath, Thor had come in, cut her a smile, his light hair darker from the damp, and told her Ridley had agreed to stop terrorizing the gate.

He would remain, however. Adara practically grunted her response.

Grahame had succeeded in placating Ward.

She would take it as a win. A reprieve from her worries was welcome.

A knock caused her to sit up in the chair where she slouched. “Enter.”

Muretta poked her head around the door, her golden halo of hair leading the way.

“Time for a night cap?” She held a bottle of liquor through the crack and shook it.

Adara chuckled. “Yes,” she said, moving over in the chair so her friend could join her.

Muretta closed the door, swishing over in her nightgown. She took the offered space next to Adara, curling her legs under her so that her feet were tucked between their bottoms.

“Chilly?”

“Aye. This room always had the best heat in the house. Elvin would ensure the fire was kept day and night. It is just taking some getting used to, staying in a new room, is all.”

Adara brushed a hand over the top of Muretta’s curls in an attempt to tame those that tickled her cheek. Her friend gave an exaggerated shimmy of her shoulders to cover her shiver.

“You can have Bhlaine stoke the fire in your room all day; I don’t mind,” Adara said.

“Seems like a waste. And I’m not complaining. I’m grateful to have such a room at your house. I need to take advantage of it while it lasts.”

The words were said with humour, though they landed heavy. If Adara’s plan didn’t work and she was married to her father’s match, Muretta would be forced to leave. Unless they make the same arrangement she had with Elvin. Adara pinched her eyes shut.

Muretta had saved her from a lifetime of warming Elvin’s bed by offering her own body. There was no way she would betray the woman by ousting her from Clayton House.

“It will last a long time, Muretta,” Adara insisted.

Muretta took a swig from the bottle then passed it to Adara.

Gold-white bubbles dribbled down her chin.

She scraped them away with the back of her hand.

Adara sighed then closed her eyes and tipped the bottle back.

Ale, strong and hoppy, bit the back of her throat.

She hoped it would dull the ache that had taken up residence in her temples.

“It didn’t take much for Shepherd to agree to marriage.”

Adara rolled her eyes and took another drink before passing it back. “Only death threats to his friends. Gee, how easy that was.”

“Spare your jokes, Adara. It will get you what you want.”

Muretta drank from the bottle then settled it between their legs, available for either of them to pick up.

“And what do I want?” Adara asked. She pulled the thin material of her nightshift through her thumb and forefinger, her gaze unfocusing as she let the liquor drift through her.

“What any of us want. Freedom. Love. A life worth living.”

Muretta plucked up the dark hair that spilled over Adara’s shoulder. She began to twine her fingers though the strands, going from top to bottom, knowing Adara loved the gentle, pulling feeling.

Adara offered a bitter laugh at her friend’s summation. Her gaze remained on the crackling flames as she spoke.

“I agree with freedom. I thought, after Elvin died, I could remain Lady of Clayton House, pay a widow’s tax and live my life.

A bout of stupidity on my part. I should have never underestimated my father’s ambition to keep his earldom secure.

Though, I will reject your assumption of love.

I have no need for it. Let’s replace it with revenge, cunning, and ownership. ”

Rather than incite laughter from Muretta like expected, her friend went quiet. Her fingers slowed in Adara’s hair. Adara bumped her shoulder with her own.

“What? I was speaking in jest.”

Muretta nodded, offering a bright smile that didn’t reach her light brown eyes.

“I know. I just…I hope for love. One day. And I hope for a life where I am not worried about being thrown to the wolves. Elvin did that for me. I know you could never suffer his mistreatment, but I thrived within the safety of it. For less than the time it took to eat supper, I could secure my lodging, be clothed and fed and treated well enough most of the time. I never thought of love because the arrangement worked. Yet, now that he’s gone… ”

Adara waited, her headache throbbing in her skull.

She took the ale from between them and swigged.

It did not dampen the sense of responsibility she had for this woman who she felt indebted to.

Elvin had required Adara to satisfy his physical needs in the marital way for years until Muretta became a servant.

Wide-eyed and pretty, Elvin began to show interest in her.

She and Adara were the same age, though of very different stations.

Adara refused to allow their union, following Elvin around, getting in their way until Muretta was older and could enter into a sensible agreement with him for better lodging and care as his mistress.

Until then, Adara kept his attention as his wife.

Every time she bedded him, she thought of her shepherd boy.

Every time, her heart broke a little bit more that she was nothing but a slave to the man she hated.

The fact that Muretta found comfort in Elvin did not make her jealous, but the talk of safety did.

She was never safe with anyone but Grahame.

Adara cleared her throat. “It is alright to miss him.”

Muretta blinked several times and stared into the fire.

She sniffed before replying. “I know you protected me when you could. I do not miss him , but I miss the surety of my role. I’m sorry.

I did not intend on coming in here and becoming a simpering mess.

” Muretta swiped at her eyes with the backs of her fingers.

Adara only offered her the bottle, which she took and drank from greedily.

“What of your shepherd? He is obscenely handsome. And you didn’t answer my questions. You haven’t told me much about him other than he lives near Hyrstow and that you’d spent a summer with him in your youth.”

Adara’s heartbeat quickened at the thought of Grahame, as it would forever, apparently. She pressed her lips together, trying to parse out what details she could give to Muretta and what she would spare for herself.

“There is not much to tell. He lived near Cecilia. I was sent to stay with her family one summer when my father deemed me too pig-headed to remain in the keep. Of course, it wasn’t really a punishment since Cecilia and I were thick as thieves.

Though, while she had chores and lessons and responsibilities, as the earl’s daughter, I did not.

Or, rather, I did but the nurse there gave up when I put a snake in her shoe and she sent me outside, rain or shine. ”

Muretta grinned, turning to face Adara. She brushed her thumb across Adara’s cheek, catching a tear. Adara looked at it in surprise that she was both crying and smiling at once.

“I became bored and started roaming the estate, then further. One morning, after a fall down a large slope, I came across Grahame shepherding. Actually, I believe I rolled down the hill and nearly fell atop him. He shoved me off and told me a joke to put an end to my mortification. We were inseparable after that.”

The fire popped, sending a spark onto Muretta’s nightdress.

She screeched, her hands whipping the thing away before it burned through the light linen.

Almost immediately, two knocks sounded, one at the door, another against the wall.

Accompanied by both were Hagan and Grahame’s voices through the wood.

“Lady, are you alright?” Hagan asked.

“Keep it down!” Grahame rumbled.

Muretta’s brows shot up as she tried to settle back down, but a laugh caught in her throat at the two differing tones. Adara just shook her head, suddenly feeling very tired.

“We are fine, thank you,” Adara called to the door as she shooed Muretta off the chair. Both women stood, Adara stretching her arms over her head in an effort to loosen the coiled sensation in her limbs.

“It appears that, after all your time together, he still is angry with you. One would think a little part of him would be happy to see you,” Muretta said over her shoulder as she walked to the door.

Adara shrugged. “I did not leave on good terms at the end of that summer. We…”

She fell silent, the words bungling in her mouth.

How could she tell Muretta of the tender way he kissed her for the first time, her heart so full it felt like her entire world was right at that moment?

There wasn’t a proper way she could convey the hurt and anger she harboured when he abandoned her to chase after raiders with his friends.

Oh yes, another slight against Ridley Ward, for taking Grahame from her.

It was the last time they had seen one another.

She had begged him not to go. Her heart had been torn asunder with fear for him.

Her father’s men came the next day with the news she was to be taken home.

Two years later, she was married to Elvin, Lord Clayton of Guston, a pivotal landowner in her father’s earldom.

Muretta seemed to sense Adara’s growing unease. She smiled widely, as she opened the door. “Enough bedtime stories. Goodnight, Adara.”

“Goodnight.”

After the door closed, Adara stood before the fire, trying to embrace the stillness. Flames danced in the fireplace, but the room was otherwise dark. She closed her eyes and willed herself to stop thinking of the boy she loved. He was not the man next door.

Grahame had barely reacted to seeing her again.

Other than the tightening of his jaw and the casual use of her given name, it was as if she were a bother rather than someone he’d shared his soul with eight years ago.

She was a means to an end in his eyes, someone who held power over his friends.

If not for her order, their paths would likely have never crossed.

For all she knew, he was already married.

The errant thought wormed its way through her causing her very bones to vibrate.

Could he have agreed just to appease her? To trick her as she had done him?

Shaking out her hands, Adara stomped her foot. The floor thumped and it sent a slight pain into her that was rather pleasing. She did it again, letting her frustration gather and expel through her sole. Again.

From her right, three sharp thumps met the wall. A muffled “stop your noise” found its way through.

Straightening, Adara bit her lower lip. How dare he tell her what to do in her own house? Before she could rethink it, she stalked to the door, pulling it open and slipping past Hagan.

“My lady, how can I be of service?”

He pushed himself off the wall, ready to do as she bid.

“Unlock his door,” she ordered.

Hagan hesitated, then did as she said when he beheld the fire in her eyes. Springing the lock from the iron, he stepped back, allowing her to storm forward.

“I do not think you should go in there alone, lady,” he said, crowding behind her.

“You may wait outside, at the ready. Do not follow me. I will be fine.”

Hagan slunk back when he heard the ring of authority in her words. Harnessing her anger, she yanked the handle and stepped into Grahame’s room.