Page 29

28

Lottie’s favourite place at home was outside. She stood at the fence and stared at the lake through the muted darkness. Stars glinted in the sky, and it would be a romantic scene if she hadn’t that ball of anger lodged in her chest. After a few moments, the cause of her annoyance appeared at her elbow.

‘Lottie, we need to talk about the house,’ Boyd said.

‘Oh, you mean the house where we discovered a murdered man’s body?’

‘That’s just the show home.’

She turned towards him, leaning back, her arms on the damp paling. ‘We can’t afford to buy anything in that estate and the houses aren’t big enough.’

‘We could make one big enough.’

Moving away from the fence, she clenched her fists in frustration. ‘You can’t honestly be harping back at renovating a garage in a new house, can you?’

‘I spoke with the site manager, after he made his statement, and he said we’d be buying off plan so it’s only a matter of changing the garage into a room. Simple. Very little extra cost if we do it before a block is laid.’

‘But they’re closing down the site.’ Shaking her head, she made to walk by him, but he caught her elbow.

‘At least discuss it with me.’

He was so close she could smell the desperation on his breath.

‘Even with the garage converted into a room, there’s not enough space, Mark.’

‘There could be.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Your girls are adults. Chloe is working. Katie works when she can. They should get their own place. Together, with Louis.’

She turned her back on him, squinted up at the stars. All she saw was a red mist of rage floating over the sky, blotting out the twinkling celestial bodies. She both loved and despised him in that moment. You couldn’t be more conflicted, could you? She was fed up arguing with herself. So she let fly at him.

‘How dare you! How fucking dare you, Mark Boyd.’ She swirled around again and stepped into his space. ‘You want to split up my family so you can play happy families with me?’

‘For God’s sake, I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.’

‘What did you mean, then? Huh? Tell me exactly what you meant.’

‘It’s just that you have to accept they’re not kids any more. They’re adults and can’t be sponging… I mean living off you for ever.’

‘I thought I knew you. I really thought I knew your very soul, Mark. How wrong can a person be?’ The red mist grew darker, and she felt powerless in its depth.

‘Please, Lottie, I’m sorry. Honestly. It’s just that I’m stressed with Grace being at mine as well as Sergio. I need her help while I’m at work, but there’s no space.’

‘You should have thought of that before.’

‘I just thought that a new house would be perfect,’ he insisted. ‘With both our incomes we could get a mortgage and?—’

‘I want you to leave, Mark. Now. Go home and buy the fucking house for yourself and Sergio. And you know what? There’s enough room for Grace there too without converting the garage. You can even park your car in it. Please just leave me alone.’ She could taste tears at the corners of her lips and realised she was crying.

He put out a hand and touched her arm. She shrugged him off and marched back to the house, slamming the door as hard as she could.

After he’d left, she sat at the table waiting for the kettle to boil.

Twisting her hands together, she stared at her engagement ring, the one she’d eventually consented to wearing. The single diamond sparkled under the fluorescent light. With uncontrolled anger still coursing like a hurricane through her veins, she tugged at it until it came off. As the kettle whistled unanswered in the background, she put the ring in the centre of the table and sat staring at it for a long, long time. Then she put it back on and made her tea.

Katie had opened the window to air her room, which smelled of damp and the alcohol she’d spilled on her clothes the night before. She’d forgotten to put them in the wash and they lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. Louis was in Sean’s room, probably watching his uncle play some online football game. She should put him to bed, but she wanted to relax in the few peaceful alone moments.

Standing at the window, she spied her mother and Boyd out by the fence. Were they arguing? She leaned forward, earwigging. It was rare to witness a full-blown argument between them. She pulled back quickly, stung by the words she was hearing. There didn’t seem to be any malice in what Boyd was saying. It was the vehemence in her mother’s reply that stunned her.

Backing away from the window, she picked up her dirty clothes and sat on the bed with them bundled in her arms. She mulled over what Boyd had said. Was it true? Should she and Chloe move out and let their mother get on with her life? She was so caught up in her own woes that she rarely considered Lottie as a separate entity. She needed to assess her life, her future. She was twenty-three, with a three-year-old son. Her future held… what? She deserved better than this. She had to be proactive with her life, or it would pass her by.

The smell of alcohol from the clothes was disgusting. She recalled when it had been spilled. When she’d met Jackson. She grabbed her phone. She could call him to see if he wanted to bring her on that dinner date he’d mentioned. That’d be doing something proactive.

Without hesitation, she tapped his number and listened to it ringing, praying that he’d remember her. Then praying that he wouldn’t answer so she could hang up and forget all about it. Daft idea anyhow.

‘Katie,’ he said, just before she disconnected. ‘I knew you couldn’t resist me.’

She laughed and felt the tension leaving her body. ‘Jackson. About that dinner…’