Page 9 of Her Fallen Angel

8

ARENWEN

I study Kai's tense shoulders as he paces the training yard, his ash-gray wings twitching with each turn. The morning sun catches on his battle scars, highlighting the maps of violence etched across his skin. His jaw clenches, muscles rippling beneath stubble.

These signs have become a language I've learned to read. Three weeks of watching, learning, anticipating. The way his fingers drum against his thigh means he'll want wine with dinner. The slight narrowing of his violet eyes signals incoming frustration with recruits.

I pour the deep red liquid into his goblet before his hand reaches for it. His gaze snaps to mine, searching for defiance or mockery. He finds neither.

"Your training gear is laid out on the bed," I murmur, keeping my eyes lowered. "I noticed the leather strap on your vambrace was wearing thin, so I had it repaired."

His wings rustle. "Playing the perfect little servant now?" His tone drips with suspicion.

I fold my hands in front of me. "I serve as I choose."

"And you choose to anticipate my every need?" He stalks closer, predatory grace in each step. His shadow falls over me, but I don't flinch.

"Would you prefer I didn't?"

A low growl rumbles in his chest. He grabs my chin, tilting my face up. His violet eyes bore into mine, seeking answers I won't give. "What game are you playing, little flame?"

"No game." I meet his gaze steadily. "You provide shelter, protection. Is it so strange I'd wish to make your burdens lighter?"

The answer is yes. It is strange, but I'm not going to point that out. It's just… There is something with Kai. He's very attractive, but there's been a tension brewing between us. Something that I don't understand - just like how I don't understand why I'm not afraid of him or why I want to please him. Maybe it's just in my nature but I find myself serving him not out of self-preservation but because I feel like I should.

Like maybe I want to.

His grip tightens for a moment before releasing me. Confusion flickers across his features, there and gone like lightning. He turns away, wings spreading slightly as if to shield himself.

"The wine needs to breathe longer," he mutters, but takes a long drink anyway.

I hide my smile as I adjust the fall of his cloak, smoothing wrinkles from the dark fabric. His wings quiver at my touch, but he doesn't pull away. Small victories, measured in millimeters of trust.

Trust I shouldn't want. But at this point, my mind is too jumbled for me to understand.

Honestly, I'm not really trying to question it at this point. Instead, I start to clean up and prepare pitchers of water and fruit since Kai is training here today. And once it is ready and the xaphan are already outside, I decide to stay.

From my position near the courtyard's edge, I watch Kai drill with his warriors. Vhex lunges with brutal force, his steel-gray wings snapping out for balance as his practice blade whistles through the air. Kai deflects the blow with practiced ease, violet eyes cold and distant even in combat with his supposed friend.

"Getting slow?" Vhex's scarred face twists into a sneer, but there's an underlying warmth to his taunt. "What happened to the once great warrior?"

Kai doesn't return the banter. His ash-gray wings spread wide as he counters with a series of swift strikes that force Vhex back. Each movement precise, controlled, revealing nothing.

Mykael approaches from the sidelines, his dove-gray wings neatly folded. "Touchy, too."

"Shut up." Kai doesn't even glance his way, focused on disarming Vhex with mechanical efficiency.

"See, there? Never can take what you give, can you?" Mykael's green eyes narrow slightly, studying Kai's reaction. Always watching, always calculating.

"I said shut it." Kai's wings snap tight against his back, a clear dismissal.

Blood sprays as his blade catches Vhex's forearm. The silver-haired warrior curses, dropping his weapon. Most would pause, check their companion's injury. Kai simply turns away, sheathing his blade.

"Patch yourself up." His voice carries no concern, but a hint of smile tugs at his lips as Vhex curses. "Be faster and that wouldn't happen."

I pour fresh water into the practice yard's washing basin, careful to keep my movements quiet. Even among his closest companions, Kai maintains walls thick as the compound's fortifications. He has light banter with these too, but that's it. It's like he keeps himself walled off from the world.

The cruelty I understand - it's written in every scar on his wings, every cold command. But this isolation, this careful distance... it pulls at something in my chest even as it makes my skin crawl. A fortress cannot stand forever without foundations.

Vhex wraps his bleeding arm, shooting Kai's back a look that has me biting back a laugh. Mykael claps him on the shoulder with a raised brow. "He's got a point, you know."

"Oh, fuck off," Vhex shrugs him off.

"Let's get you back before Kai decides he wants another round."

"Afraid?" Kai taunts.

"Not fucking stupid," Mykael answers as he guides Vhex out of the courtyard. His eye snags on me for a second before they continue around the corner.

But my focus is already on another xaphan. As he turns back toward me, I spot a gash splitting Kai's shoulder, crimson seeping into the leather of his training gear.

My feet move before conscious thought catches up, medical supplies already out since they all knew they'd need them. I quickly grab what I need and dart toward him.

Kai's hand closes around my throat, his body pivoting to slam me against the stone wall. His violet eyes burn with feral intensity, wings flaring wide to cage me. Blood drips between us, pattering on the floor like rain.

"I didn't give you permission to touch me." His breath fans hot across my face.

I keep my voice steady despite his grip. For some reason, he doesn't scare me. In fact, I like seeing his dark side come out. "The wound needs cleaning before infection sets in."

"And you think you have the right to make that decision?" His fingers flex, but don't tighten.

"No." I meet his gaze. "But I choose to help anyway."

Something flickers in those violet depths - confusion, intrigue, anger. His wings tremble slightly, betraying inner turmoil his face won't show. Blood continues to flow, staining his skin in rivulets.

His hand drops from my throat. He steps back, wings settling against his spine. "Make it quick."

I dip the cloth in warm water, keeping my movements measured as I clean around the wound. His muscles coil beneath my touch, but he remains still. The gash runs deep - Vhex's blade found its mark.

"This needs stitches." I reach for the needle.

"Just bind it."

"It will scar worse-"

His hand shoots out, grabbing my wrist. "I said bind it."

I nod, wrapping the bandage tight around his shoulder. His skin burns beneath my fingers, magic crackling just below the surface. When I finish, he shoves me away, wings snapping out to their full span.

"Go."

I gather the bloody cloths and supplies, keeping my steps unhurried as I leave. His violet eyes follow my movements, predatory and uncertain all at once.

I don't see Kai for the rest of the day. I keep busy cleaning and even prepare dinner he never comes for. So, I slip out in the courtyard for my evening prayers, not wanting to disturb him.

Even if a part of me aches to know what's wrong. I shouldn't care. I really know I shouldn't. Maybe it's the part of me that has always tried to help others, but I hate not knowing what's going on with him.

Instead, I focus on my prayers as I kneel. Moonlight spills across the stone tiles, painting silver paths between patches of darkness. My hair falls forward as I bow my head, hands clasped before me.

"Grant me strength to be his light," I whisper, the familiar words a comfort in this strange place. "Let me pierce the shadows that bind his heart, as you pierce the darkness of night."

The words flow differently now, altered from their original form. Where once I prayed for deliverance, now I seek understanding. Where I begged for escape, I ask for patience.

"Help me understand the pain that drives him. Show me how to reach past his walls without breaking them." My fingers tighten around each other. "He provides shelter when he could cage me, offers protection when he could harm me. There must be light within him, however deeply buried."

The night breeze carries the scent of night-blooming flowers, their sweet perfume mingling with the metallic tang of weapons practice from earlier. Such contrasts define my life now - beauty and violence, mercy and cruelty.

"Guide my steps as I walk this path. Let me be strong enough to weather his storms, yet gentle enough to soothe them." I touch my forehead to my clasped hands. "Help me be what he needs, even if he doesn't know what that is."

A shadow falls across the moonlit tiles. I don't need to look up to know Kai stands in the doorway - I've learned the weight of his presence, the subtle shift in the air when he's near. My prayer continues, softer but unwavering.

"Grant me wisdom to see past his armor, courage to face what lies beneath. Let my faith be a beacon in his darkness."

His wings rustle in the silence that follows. I risk a glance upward, finding his violet eyes fixed on me. His expression remains carefully blank, but his wings betray him - twitching slightly at the tips, a tell I've come to recognize as uncertainty.

He doesn't speak. Doesn't move. Just watches with that unreadable mask, while moonlight catches on the scars crossing his ash-gray wings.