Page 8 of Her Darkest Possession (Baryshev Bratva #2)

"No." I shake my head. "He told me that he was going to kill me" That wasn't all he said he'd do to me.

But there's no need to agitate Svetlana any more than I need to.

"And once on the train, I managed to get away.

I hit him with my head, broke his nose. But then he started shooting. People died, Svetlana. Because of me."

"No," she says firmly. "You didn't kill those people. Grisha did. Because he's a piece of shit and a coward. But how did you get away?"

"I shot him in the leg. But when I tried to shoot him dead, the gun was empty. By then, the train was stopped in the Bronx, and I ran back to the barbershop where I used to work. Then I collapsed and when I woke up, I was in a hospital. And Anatoly came for me."

"Not bad, Indigo Malcolmovna." Svetlana's lips curl into a fierce smile. "You escaped from Grisha, and made him pay a price in blood. You did what many could not. Does Tolya know about this?"

I shake my head. "He just knows that I escaped from Grisha. He doesn't know any of the details."

"I think you should tell him." Svetlana nods, a smile spreading across her face. "Not because you owe it to him, but it never hurts to remind Tolya that you're not just a helpless wallflower who looks pretty."

Then the smile fades from her face and her eyes turn serious. "And the baby? Is your baby alright?"

"Yes." I nod. Warm tears well up in my eyes again. "We got confirmation at the hospital that the baby is okay. We also heard the baby's heartbeat."

Svetlana squeals in delight, a sound most unexpected from her. She immediately winces, pressing a hand to her bandaged wound, but the smile doesn't leave her face.

"You heard the heartbeat?" Her eyes shine with genuine excitement. "What was it like?"

"It was..." I struggle to find the right words. "Fast. Like a little hummingbird. And seeing that tiny shape on the screen..." I touch my stomach protectively. "It made everything real."

"And Tolya? How did he react?" Svetlana asks, her eyes curious. "Did he cry? Tell me he cried."

"He did. He won't tell you that he did, but there were a couple of tears in his eyes."

"So that man can be sentimental, after all." Svetlana smirks. "I'm sure he's ecstatic about it all. A Baryshev heir. The first of a new generation."

The joy in my chest deflates slightly at her words. Is that all this baby means to Anatoly? A continuation of his bloodline? Of the legacy of the bratva?

At the thought of bloodlines and legacy, another thought crushes the happiness that I felt.

"But Amara's gone," I say. "Lola has her. I should never have brought her here."

Svetlana's face grows solemn. "If you didn't bring her here, who knows what could've happened to her out there."

"Lola threatened to sell her." The tears start flowing again. "And I think she's serious about it. My sister is all I have left of my family, Svetlana. I can't lose her."

Svetlana reaches out, taking my hand in hers. Her grip is surprisingly strong for someone who looks so weak.

"Listen to me, Indigo Malcolmovna. I know Tolya. I'd give my left kidney to bet that he's working on finding Amara right now and he won't stop until she's back safely."

"But what if—"

"No," Svetlana cuts me off firmly. "No 'what ifs.' Have faith in your husband. If anyone can find Amara, it's him."

"It's not that I don't have faith in him," I say, twisting my fingers together in my lap. "It's that I'm afraid."

Svetlana's eyes narrow. "What are you afraid of?"

I hesitate, glancing first at the door, then back at Svetlana's face, and finally out the window, where the weak morning light glimmers off the surface of the sea in the distance.

"I'm afraid it won't be enough for me," I admit quietly.

"What do you mean by that, silly girl?"

I take a deep breath, and slowly, the words that I've buried deep inside of me since that awful day two years ago finally start emerging.

"There's this part of me that's vengeful and angry and bitter," I say. "And that part somehow comes alive when I'm with Anatoly. And as much as I don't want to admit it… When I indulge that part of myself... I feel good."

I finally gather enough strength to look back at her. There's no judgment in her eyes as she listens, and that's enough for me to keep going.

"I know I won't be satisfied with just bringing Amara back," I confess. "I want to hurt whoever took her. And I'm afraid that the more I ask Anatoly to do things for me, the more I'll be drawn toward a darkness that I'm not sure I can walk back from."

Svetlana considers my words carefully, her fingers absently tracing the edge of her bandage.

"Tolya is happy to do those things for you," she says finally. "And if he's happy to do them, perhaps you can be happy with him doing them."

I shake my head. "My entire life, I've believed I'm a good person. A good person to whom bad things have happened. What if all this proves I'm not really a good person after all? What if I deserved all these terrible things?"

"Then you should be even more glad that you have someone like Tolya to avenge you of those terrible things," Svetlana replies without hesitation.

"But what if he hurts the wrong person? Because of me?"

"He won't," Svetlana says firmly. "He won't hurt the wrong person because you are a good person who has been wronged in the most awful way.

You know right from wrong, and you know that when you set him loose against the world, you do so with righteousness in your heart.

With you by his side, he becomes an extension of your goodness, and not the absence of it. "

"But what if I make a mistake?" My voice trembles.

"You won't." Svetlana reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. "Because you love him. And when you trust in that love, you will never be wrong."