Page 60 of Her Dark Lies

Lies, all of it, but all artists are simply walking bags of ego and insecurities and succumb to flattery with such ease.

When she was pink with pleasure, believing in herself again, I suggested she take me around to the back of the studio, so I could seeJolinafor myself.

She was about to do it. I could feel her deciding, and knew she was going to say yes. With a flick of my finger in just the right spot, I was going to tip her over the edge and make her mine.

And then she declined.

The bitch said no.

She took my card and promised to let my client have first rights of refusal, but unfortunately the piece wasn’t ready. Thank you so much for your interest. I look forward to talking to you again soon. I’m getting married—I’m afraid I haven’t been able to stay as focused on my work as I would like these past few months. But soon. The moment I’m back from my honeymoon, I’ll finish, and then I’ll call.

I nearly killed her on the spot.

How dare she refuse me? After all I’d given her? Without me she would be nothing.

I was forced to break in and see it in the darkness, in pieces, shining my light across its edges, making circles into its heart. It was a piece of shit. Without her near it, it was just a huge, clunky wall of chaotic nothing.

I still pressed my thumb in the edge, but the paint there was already dry.

36

Do You Remember When?

After Karmen leaves, I get myself together and dressed for the brunch. I wonder if this is how I’m going to live my life going forward, acting as if everything is normal while inside my very being screams in agony.

I’m supposed to be happy right now, damn it. This is the weekend of my dreams. I’m marrying the man I love on a gorgeous Italian island, and instead, my past is haunting me and my present has gone insane.

Who the hell is the woman who came to my studio?

I shot Shane.

The hydrofoil ferry horn echoes into my room, and I can hear the dogs barking. God, I hope Harper and my parents are on the boat. I wonder if Ana was able to get in touch with Harper about bringing me a new dress?

“Claire? You in there?”

Sanity, in the form of an extremely excited and tattooed bridesmaid. Katie doesn’t notice anything is wrong, not yet. She stares over my shoulder at the terrace doors, then shakes her head with a grin.

“This place is bonkers. Thank God the generators kicked in, I’d have never found you otherwise. What are you doing sitting here in the dark? Let’s go outside.”

It’s not quite as dark as she claims, but it is gloomy. I hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights when Karmen came to talk.

Katie grabs my hand and pulls me across the bridal suite to the French doors that lead out onto the sizable terrace. The pergola shields us from the rain, though I can feel the mist curling around my body.

“Have you ever seen anything like this? Even in the rain it’s so gorgeous. You’re going to have a whole new series of paintings after spending any time here. Your Italian period.” She affects a terrible accent and spins around, making me giggle.

“We’ll see about that.”

“I passed out when I got here. I feel like I slept for a week. I’m raring to go. Did I miss anything?”

I don’t often lie to Katie, because she can see right through me. The ferry horn shrieks again, and I take the opportunity to change the subject.

“Hopefully my parents and Harper are on the ferry. I think this is the last run. The storms are going to get worse later.”

“Joy. Harper Hunts Life is coming to document every moment of our existence...”

“Come on. Instagram has been good to her. She’s making oodles of money. She has over a million followers now. A real reputation.”

“I know, I know. At what cost, though? She’s living it as out loud as you can. It’s not like she’s doing it for the art. She’s not the artist you are, Claire.”