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Chapter Thirty-One

I tried to relax my hands as I waited for that door to reopen. I didn’t want to look afraid. I had to show him I was a serious opponent. How would I lead an army against him if I couldn’t even hold my own now?

The handle turned and when the Usurper walked through the door, I just focused on trying to breathe evenly and to relax my hands where they were folded on the table.

‘Would you mind waiting outside?’ he asked Mae, as though she had a choice when he‘d made that a part of the agreement. But… I was surprised by how courteously he’d asked her. Moments ago, I didn’t think he could be courteous if he tried.

Mae stood, touching my shoulder. ‘I’ll be right there,’ she said quietly. I nodded, trying to smile reassuringly, but maybe it came out more of a grimace. She withdrew, leaving us alone. I watched him warily as he approached, pulling out the chair one down from mine, leaving some empty space between us. I was grateful for that empty chair as we sat staring at each other and I tried even harder to keep my hands still. He was the enemy of my people, enemy of my kingdom, my father‘s murderer. He had schemed his way onto a throne that was meant for me. He’d compelled me to jump from a roof. Why did he want to have this conversation? What terrible things did he want to say?

‘I’m not here to hurt you,’ he began.

‘I don’t think I believe that,’ I replied, my voice wavering. ‘You’ve been trying to hurt me since before I even knew who you were.’

He raked a hand through his hair, leaving it dishevelled, and it humanised him a little. He suddenly looked very tired. It was strange. In the negotiations, he‘d seemed like he was impenetrable and cold. But right now, he didn’t seem like that at all. ‘I need to talk to you about where this conflict is leading. And what will happen to Rhiandra when it ends.’

That caught me by surprise in more ways than one. The way he said Rhi’s name was… awful. There was something in it I didn’t understand, something that I’d seen reflected when she said his. Intimacy. Possession. A history she’d never owned. ‘That’s what you traded three hundred soldiers for?’ I asked warily.

‘Yes.’

‘If you want us to hand her over to you as part of some sort of treaty, I won’t let—’

‘That’s not it,’ he cut in. ‘Your people won’t leave you here for long, so I’m going to have to get straight to the point. This war is going to end one way or another, with our defeat or yours. But whichever way it goes, you need to find a way to protect her.’

‘Rhiandra doesn’t need protection from anyone other than you.’

‘There are greater threats to her than me,’ he murmured, dropping his gaze to the table and staring at it like he was thinking of smashing it to pieces. Then he looked up again, and some of the danger, the threat, had settled back over his features. He leaned forwards, into that empty space between us, elbows on his knees. ‘If any of your generals or advisors get it into their heads to try and hurt her, I will burn the whole fucking world down, no matter what peace terms we’ve agreed on. I swear it.’

‘What? Why would my people hurt her? She’s on our side.’

‘For now.’ He straightened, and I was able to breathe a little easier. How had Rhiandra lived with him for so long? He gave me the same feeling I got in a violent storm, like I was hiding inside as the wind rattled the windowpanes and thunder roared overhead. ‘But when she ceases to be useful to them, they are going to turn on her.’

‘They wouldn’t.’

‘You can’t afford to be na?ve in this, Your Highness.’ I started a little at the term of respect. He seemed to be trying to smother that anger, to smooth it away from his features, to pretend it had never escaped into the conversation. ‘She’s too powerful to keep alive and whole. When they no longer need her as a weapon, she’ll become a threat.’

‘You know Rhiandra better than most,’ I said after a pause, dropping my voice, realising it was true as I said the words. He did know her. And what’s more, he didn’t hate her the way she said he did. It seemed so obvious now. ‘Anyone would be mad to try and betray her. You have to know that no one would do something like that, if not because she’s my ally and confidant, then out of fear of what she’d do to them for trying.’

‘That’s just the problem. She used to be suspicious of everyone. She was almost paranoid,’ he said, mouth twitching in a brief smile. ‘But magic has made her cocky. She thinks she’s untouchable. When they turn on her, she won’t see it coming.’

‘I’m telling you I’d never allow it.’

‘You have yet to realise that a crown doesn’t hand you absolute power. You’re the head of the beast, but you’re carried by a body that determines your direction. Sometimes, you’re forced into a move that wasn’t your choice.’

I studied him, seeing so much I didn’t want to see. ‘Why have you come to me with this?’ I asked slowly. ‘I have more reason than anyone to hate you, and absolutely nothing to gain from helping you.’

‘And through this conversation I’ve revealed a weakness you could exploit. But you care about her. And you might be the only one who can protect her. That made it worth the risk.’

As I watched him speak, I was struck by another, even wilder realisation. ‘You think you’re going to lose.’

He rose to his feet. ‘There are no winners in a war. And no matter the outcome, it’ll likely end the same for me. Separate your hatred for me from what I’ve said to you. Protect her the way she protected you.’

With those final words, he was walking back out of the room, ending the conversation before I’d even realised it was over. Mae entered the room as soon as he’d left it, quickly dropping into the seat next to me and taking my hands.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked.

I nodded, though I didn’t feel alright. I felt jittery and my thoughts were tumbling over each other as they tried to arrange themselves into a semblance of meaning.

‘What did he want?’ Her voice was hushed, like she was worried he’d overhear.

‘To talk about Rhi,’ I replied, and I sounded incredulous even to myself, like I still couldn’t believe that was what it had all been about. What this whole negotiation had been about. I’ve revealed a weakness you could exploit….

Mae seemed less surprised than I thought she’d be. She simply nodded. ‘Then let’s go and join the others. They’ll want to know you’re alright.’

By the time we left the room, Draven was nowhere to be seen. I thought about our conversation as we mounted our horses, thought about the soldiers he’d paid for it. I had understood him better before, when I’d thought him a brute, a monster, something terrifying and aggressive and dangerous, even mindless. I wished I could go back to believing that.

And even more so, I wished I could go back to believing that Rhiandra had been just a victim in their relationship, an unwilling participant acting under enchantment. I wished I could go back to thinking she saw him as a monster, too.