Page 19 of Her Beary Spicy Valentine (Welcome to Bear Mountain #2)

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bite me

holly

N ot until you bite one of us.

Hawk’s directive reverberated through me like a lightning bolt, making clear what my human side hadn’t even thought to suspect.

Still, I had to sum it up out loud, like I did with pregnant mothers who presented me with particularly complex birth plans. “My bear’s ready to come out of estrus but won’t let me have my baby until I bite one of you?”

Hawk answered with a nod and a pitying look that scraped across my skin like sandpaper.

“And you know this how?” I shook my head, not wanting to believe. “Did you also get a bear shifter medical degree during your ten years in jail?”

My voice had taken on a sharp, bitchy tone, but Hawk’s expression remained patient. “No, baby, I did not. My mom’s a healer, and one of my maul dads used to be Bear Mountain’s official town doctor before my youngest brother, Ash, took his place. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, ‘The apple never falls far from the stem.’ I mean, in my case, it seriously did. But before that, I picked up a lot of residual medical stuff.”

Wait, Hawk’s family maul included three medical professionals?

His eyes softened with a gentle reprimand. “You’d know all of this if you bit me.”

Bite him. Bite him. Bite him .

The call was coming from inside the house now. My bear issued the command, her growl vibrating in my chest.

Koda and Leif came to stand in the spaces on either side of our faceoff. I couldn’t tell if it was in solidarity with me. Or Hawk.

“Again, you’d know if you bit any of us,” Hawk replied out loud.

Crap, I needed to get my shields back up.

But I couldn’t raise them. I was too tired. Everything ached. Most of all, my teeth.

It wasn’t the body-snatching takeover of smearing or the double-you-over urgency of estrus, but still, the throbbing in my mouth felt… biologically intense. Instinctive, essential—like the reflex to blink or breathe. My teeth needed his neck.

But I couldn’t.… I couldn’t possibly.…

“I can’t,” I whispered, more to myself than to Hawk. “I just can’t. Not even for a baby.”

Koda’s expression remained unreadable. But Leif’s worried eyes bounced between the two of us like someone watching a family fight.

“Why not?” Hawk snarled. All the pity drained out of his amber gaze. “Why are you so afraid?”

I blinked at him. “Are you serious?”

Anger spiked, flushing my body even hotter than the estrus.

“Because this is a crazy fever dream! One that can’t possibly last!” I shouted. The words came tumbling out like a dam breaking. “It’s just biology! How can you not see that? This… whatever feelings you think you have for me and the not-real ones I have for the three of you will go away as soon as I’m out of estrus.”

Hawk’s nostrils flared. “You think I’ll just stop loving you. That my heart will flip off like a switch when your estrus is done.”

He loves me? My heart stuttered over the big reveal. No, no, he couldn’t. That was just his biological response to the estrus talking.

“No, my feelings are real ,” Hawk insisted, shamelessly reading my mind. “I’m in this with you for as long as this heart is beating in my chest. Then I’m down to meet you in the Great Bear Forest.”

His voice resoftened. “I’m your mate, Holly. Forever .”

“No, no…” I rebuked his claims with a shake of my head. “You’re an ex-con who made a vision board you can slot anybody into!”

Hawk’s eyes flared. “You think?—”

“I know you’re not seeing this for the temporary arrangement it is.” I hurled the facts at him, like gym dodgeballs meant to inflict bruises. “Takoda already said this is all on his bear. He didn’t ask for any of it, and I don’t have to bite him to know he doesn’t want to be here. It’s that obvious.”

The stiff Mountie confirmed my guess with a flex of his jaw and a glance to the side. It might have hurt, if it didn’t prove my point.

“Exactly,” I said into his silence. “And as for Leif…”

“Don’t. Holly, stop.” For the first time since we met in that jail cell, Leif gave me a command, his blue eyes begging me not to finish that sentence.

But I had to. Hurting him was the only way to make him understand. I looked the big doofy blond straight in the eyes to inform him, “You’re just a puppy who obviously has no idea what he’s signed up for.…”

Leif reared back like I’d slapped him.

“Stop it. Leave him alone, Holly!” Hawk’s voice turned vicious as he regarded me from the other side of the nest’s border. “He’s just as new to all this forever maul stuff as you. But at least he has the courage to adapt to his new reality. And you know, you’re not the only one who’s navigating some serious emotional damage.”

He waved a hand at the Mountie he’d made me lure back here. “Koda’s been hurt, too. His original maul—the one he dreamed of since he was a kid—fell apart before it could even get started. He thought he was going to be a lone bear for the rest of his life. Until a week ago, when you walked into town, and he had to settle for me, instead of my perfect doctor brother, to maul you.”

“Hawk…” Koda began, his jaw tight.

“No, let me finish. It’s time to stop protecting her. She has to hear this,” Hawk insisted without taking his eyes off me.

To my surprise, Koda didn’t say anything else. Just crossed his hands behind his back. The international sign for “go ahead.”

Which Hawk did, his amber eyes furious as he continued to lay into me. “He’s terrified of you—of going into this with all of us. But at least he just took breaks to keep his head together. He didn’t fuck you one minute, then turn around to shiv you where it cuts deepest the next because he’s so scared of getting hurt again.”

“I’m not scared! I’m right !” I balled my hands into fists, hating him and dripping for him at the same time. “You’re trying to convince me it’ll be totally fine to bond forever with two randos and a violent criminal, and I’m trying to make the three of you see past this estrus stuff to the fact that we’re not remotely suited for each other outside this nest!”

Hawk’s lip curled, his eyes flashing with fury. And hurt. “Is that all I am to you?” he asked, his voice low and taut. “Some random criminal?”

I hesitated. I didn’t… I didn’t want to hurt him.

But that was just the estrus talking, wasn’t it? Overly caring about someone I’d met less than a week ago—someone I barely knew outside of his cooking and criminal records—wasn’t logical. Or sane.

Steel hardened my voice—and my heart—as I assured him, “That’s all you will be to me after this estrus is done.”

Hawk was basically a walking slab of prison muscle with a proven track record of knowing how to handle himself in a physical fight. But his head jerked back like I’d delivered a knockout punch.

Then… a terrible, angry sadness replaced the challenge in his amber gaze. “You’re right. This shit wasn’t on my vision board. I’m outta here.”

He turned and stormed toward the scuffed combat boots he’d lined up neatly next to my Hokas and Leif’s brown Sorels underneath the newly banistered stairs. His broad shoulders were tight with barely contained rage.

Good. Good. I’d finally broken through to him.

Relief warred with the sudden hollow ache in my chest.

But then he stopped. “No, fuck that.”

He turned, his eyes blazing as he strode back to me, and this time, he didn’t stop at the nest’s border.

“You don’t get to do that!” he informed me, getting directly in my face. “Dismiss me like I’m nothing. I’m not going to let you treat me like your shitty ex-husband treated you just because you’re scared.”

The comparison to Corey sliced through me. “That’s not fair?—”

"No, it isn’t." He cut me off, his voice raw and unyielding. "Because I’m a dirty ex-con who will use anything— anything —to win a fight. My fists, my words, my jagged little literary quotes. That’s why Koda, and probably you too, would’ve preferred my clean, responsible little brother. But guess what? I’m the one who fucking loves you." He jabbed a finger into his chest. " I’m the one willing to fight as dirty as it takes to get you to bite one of us so that we can put a cub inside you before you lose the chance. Because I know…”

His expression softened, but the fire in his eyes continued to burn. “I can feel that’s what you want! More than anything. And, baby, I will fight like hell to get you what you desire most in this world—even when you’re too fucking scared to fight for it yourself."

“Hawk,” I said, straining to keep my voice level. “You’re being crazy.”

“Yeah, I am, and I don’t care .” Hawk laughed. A sharp, bitter, cutting sound. “I know I don’t deserve you like these two Dudleys. And I’m so crazy, I already decided you’re my endgame anyway—that I was put on this earth to spend the rest of my life earning your bite. Because I love the fuck out of you, and that’s what’s really got you so upset, ain’t it?”

“What are you even saying?” I couldn’t stay calm anymore. I lean forward to shout right up in his face, too. “You don’t know me! Not for real. And nothing you’re arguing makes any kind of sense in the real world!”

"I don’t know you?" Hawk’s voice became a churning gravel pit. "You ignored every red flag, every gut feeling, and married your ex because you thought some idiot who actually believed he was settling for you was the best you could do!"

His eyes bore into mine. "And now, you’re scrambling for some safe excuse—some bullshit, medical explanation—so you don’t have to deal with the fact that Koda’s loyalty, Leif’s devotion, and my bat-shit-crazy, all-consuming love are real! You can’t handle it, Holly. You’re terrified of what it means to actually be chosen— for once in your life—and now you’re running, shoving us away, because you know I’m right!"

I flinched, then opened my mouth to defend myself against his completely wrong rundown of my motivations. But he wasn’t finished.

"You don’t want to claim us because you can’t handle a real man. Real love." His words hit like rapid-fire gut punches—hard and unrelenting."You’d rather run back to your love-and-child-free life in Vancouver than take a chance on this… on us… and commit to our maul. So sure, be sensible, Holly."

Hawk sneered, his lip curling. “Pretend this is just about fucking until your estrus is done when really, it’s about you ! You being a fucking coward.”

My hand moved before I could think, and my bear was stronger than I knew.

The slap cracked through the den, louder than I expected, and Hawk’s head snapped to the side with the strength of my direct hit.

Then he turned back slowly as a dark bruise mark bloomed across his cheek. But he didn’t touch it. He didn’t speak. Just stared at me, his amber eyes glowing like embers as his bear growled audibly from deep inside his chest.

My eyes flashed, too, and my bear growled back at him.

Right before I exploded forward and sunk my maw into Hawk’s shoulder.