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Hellen jumped up off the sofa and ran to her phone where she’d left it in the kitchen. “Hello?!” she said into it without even looking at the number calling.

“Hey, come get your male’s clothes,” Emmalyn said teasingly into the phone.

Hellen held her phone out from her ear so she could see the screen, then put it back against her ear. “What?” she asked, completely confused.

“So, we slept late. A little early celebrating, and just came out onto the porch for a late breakfast.”

“It’s two in the afternoon. I’d call it a late lunch.”

“Whatever… my point is, we walked out onto the porch to enjoy the day, and Barron says, ‘what’s that floating in the water?’.

I look over and I say, ‘oh, my God, I think it’s a body, or a part of one’.

Barron goes down, wades into the water and pulls out clothes.

Not a body, or body parts, just some clothes spread out across the water’s surface.

He says it’s the same clothes Lucien had on last night.

Come get your male’s clothes and tell him to stop running around our neighborhood naked.

We got two-and-a-half kids around here.”

“Seriously? They’re shifters, or whatever Tempest and Brandt’s turns out to be. Besides, shifters have no issue with nakedity. Two-and-a-half? That makes no sense.”

“Nakedity?” Emmalyn asked.

“It’s a word,” Hellen said, doing her best to be slightly amusing, but having not a single tone in her voice.

“No. It’s not a word.”

“Should be.”

“You coming to get your male’s clothes?”

“No. I’m pretty sure he’s not my male any more. Just leave them where you found them, or throw them out. I really don’t care anymore.”

Emmalyn didn’t respond right away. When she finally did, there had been a noticeable pause. “You alright?”

“No different than usual. Seems my need to be self-sufficient drove him away. I was right all along. I’m better off alone.”

“Was there a big blowup?” Emmalyn asked.

“No. I got home and he was gone. He’s obviously decided that it’s not worth the trouble.”

“I’m sorry, Hell.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

“Any chance he’ll come back?” Emmalyn asked.

“I don’t know. I didn’t think he’d leave. Obviously I pushed too much.”

“Maybe he just needs some time to calm down. Barron said he was livid.”

“Yeah, Havoc said when they got back he barely even told them goodbye. He was angry. It’s fine. I get it. I hurt him.”

“What did you do? I mean, other than the obvious about lying and leaving a note that was, well, lying.”

“Gee, thanks, Em. Didn’t know you could make me look even worse in my own eyes.”

“Sorry.”

“I think it’s harder to make him trust than me. But he really tried and he eventually stopped fighting it and accepted us. But I still hadn’t given in.”

“Why not? He’s hotttttttt,” Emmalyn said, repeating the ‘t’ in hot over and over again for effect.

“Because it’s really hard for me to depend on anybody. That’s all I got, okay. Then you factor in that one of the first things he told me was that he’d be here until he got me out of his system, and I was afraid to trust. Turns out I was right.”

“You’re dead fucking wrong. And if you were right, it would be all your own fault,” a deep, velvety voice said from behind her.

Hellen spun around quickly to find Lucien standing in her living room dripping river mud and grass onto her floor. Her eyes filled with tears as she demanded tearfully, “Where have you been?”

“Swimming. Where have you been?” he answered matter-of-factly.

“Since last night?” she asked incredulously.

“Kinda. Didn’t really want to see you, or talk to you. So, I stayed in the water.”

“Ask him why I got his clothes!” Emmalyn yelled from her end of the phone Hellen still held in her hand.

Hellen looked down at the phone in her hand and slid her thumb across its screen to end the call.

She tossed the phone that immediately started ringing again onto the kitchen counter and took a step toward him.

“I’m sorry. Whatever it was I was thinking, it wasn’t to lie to you or to disrespect you. ”

“Came to you naturally, then? I’m not sure that’s making it any better. What were you thinking, Hellen?”

“I like it better when you call me Hell.”

“What were you thinking, Hellen?” he repeated.

Hellen nodded, as though reminding herself she deserved this. “I was thinking that I’d handle it alone. I’d go, take care of business, come home. You’d be a little perturbed, but not too much and life would go on.”

“Because that’s what you do. You go all mercenary on whatever situation arises, and if you have to you invent some kind of mediocre bullshit to put people off your trail when you get back.”

Hellen nodded.

“I can’t do this, Hellen. I’m not going to live my life never knowing what my mate is really out there doing.

I’m not going to wonder each minute that you’re out of my sight if you’re really working limits during hunting season or if you’re tracking drug traffickers that even I wouldn’t approach without back up. ”

“I know.”

“That’s some bullshit. Your clan might accept the excuses you give them when you’re out there for three or four weeks at a time — I don’t. If you don’t trust me, you don’t trust anybody, and frankly that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. You don’t trust anybody, not even me.”

“I understand,” she said softly. “Thank you for at least coming back to tell me.”

He looked at her, standing a few feet away from him, her hands clasped in front of her, her head down, her eyes focused on the floor. “You think I came back to tell you I’m leaving?”

She shrugged. “I thought you already left. Emmalyn called to tell me that they found your clothes floating in the water by their house. I figured I’d never see you again.”

“Is that what you want? And think long and hard before you answer. I’m over any kind of game, word games included.”

“I’m not in the mood to tease either. No. It’s not what I want.”

“Tell me what you want.”

She raised her gaze to his. “You.”

“I can’t do this your way.”

“I know.”

“So what are we going to do?”

“We? We’re still a we?”

“Hellen…”

“Alright, okay. We’re going to learn how to trust.”

“Thought we tried that already.”

“You tried that already. I just figured I’d keep being me and it would be all good.”

“How’d that work for you?” he asked wryly.

“It didn’t. I almost lost my mate.”

“It’s not that you almost lost me. It’s that I put everything into you.

I just knew you wouldn’t do to me what you do everybody else.

Show the hard ass you are all you want, but let me see the real you.

Only you didn’t. You treated me just like everyone else.

You put yourself at risk, you put your clan at risk, and you made a fool out of me. ”

“How did I make a fool out of you?!”

“By making me look like an idiot for believing in you.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just used to doing things by myself.”

“Why?”

“My brother was the fuck up, everybody was always worried about making sure he made the right choices, even after he started making the right choices. My younger brother is crazy smart, and they were always raving about him. I just kind of fell between the cracks. I was the one nobody thought they had to worry about. I’d always do the right thing.

They all just assumed that I could handle whatever it was.

So I did. I didn’t ask for anything. Whatever came up, I handled it.

If I got in trouble, which was rare, I asked forgiveness then. ”

“Ask for forgiveness rather than permission.”

“Exactly. It wasn’t that they didn’t love me.

They always loved me, I didn’t doubt that.

It’s just that they didn’t have to worry about me.

Then my brother left, and I didn’t have anyone to confide in anymore.

Even if he was the fuck up, he was my fuck up.

Then my clan began to meet their mates and pair off, and I didn’t.

I started spending more and more time away and nobody even noticed.

They never asked. I mean, sure, they’d tease about me looking familiar when I showed up again, but nobody really asked what exactly I was doing.

If I was okay or not. So, again, I handled it.

I love the wilderness. I love the animals.

It’s always given me peace. So, I decided that would be my life.

I never thought I’d have a mate. And I didn’t until you showed up. ”

“Technically, you showed up.”

“You know my point. None of it is anyone’s fault. It’s that I was trusted so much to do my thing without question, that I did. I got used to it, and to being alone.”

“The squeaking wheel gets the grease. And you were anything but the squeaking wheel.”

“More or less. It’s no excuse for intentionally misleading you, though. I know we talked about the fact that we wouldn’t keep things from each other anymore, and that we’d trust. But…”

“But what?”

“A lot of things, I guess. Mainly, I have commitment issues, obviously.”

“Yet you just said you want me.”

“I do! But I’m afraid! I don’t want to lose me! I don’t want to become someone that can’t think without their mate! I like my individuality. I like my independence. But I like you, too! I don’t want to lose you. How do I do this?!” she asked, tears beginning to spill over her lashes.

To his credit, he didn’t move any closer to her.

He stood his ground, watching her, letting her finish her thoughts.

“First, you need to understand something.” He waited until her focus was on him and she’d gotten her tears under control before he elaborated.

“You need to know that some of what I love most about you is your independence, and your individuality. I could never under any circumstances be with a woman who turns all control over to me. Just drives me insane to see a woman do that. I want strong. I’m attracted to strong.

I need strong to need me to be strong. You know what I mean? ”

Hellen gave him an unsure nod.