Page 21

AJAX

I folded my arms, my eyes glued to the pile of ash on the cell floor.

That pile used to be Dakota.

Or what was left of her, anyway.

I’d taken down Lucifer’s glamour—a trick Az taught me shortly after the Hell Fae King had left—and had waited for Dakota’s mind to resurface. Only, she hadn’t moved. Hadn’t spoken. Just stared at the wall with a vacant look, like she was still trapped in the past.

I could have uttered an enchantment to knock her out of it and forced her to come back to the present and face me. But seeing her in the flesh—her Unseelie disguise having vanished when I’d dismantled Lucifer’s nightmarish enchantment—had done nothing for me.

“You seem disappointed,” Az said, his tall form lounging against the wall beside me. He was the picture of casualness with one ankle resting against the other, his stance and expression indicating he was unbothered by the death spell I’d just performed in front of him.

“I guess I expected to feel more,” I told him. “But I don’t feel much of anything at all, except for maybe relief.” Which was strange.

Whenever faced with my past, I usually experienced pain. Sometimes sadness. And I always reacted with fury.

Yet… I felt oddly at peace right now. Like I’d just closed the cover on a finished book.

“Cami has changed everything for me,” I whispered out loud, aware that she was the source of my contentment. Or perhaps my growth. I wasn’t quite sure what label to put on it, but I recognized what she meant to me, how she’d helped me heal. “I don’t think she meant to, but she did.”

“She’s changed everything for all of us,” Az replied, sounding amused.

“I’ve never seen Melek serious about anything, nor have I ever heard Typhos apologize.

Yet both of those things have happened more than once in the last week alone.

And as for me…” He trailed off, considering.

“She makes me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before. ”

I nodded, understanding what he meant. “She taught me what real love is,” I said, then winced at how cheesy that sounded out loud.

But it was the truth.

Emelyn Jyn was my first love.

Camillia De la Croix was my true love.

The former taught me how to feel, how to care, how to open my heart and experience small doses of warmth in an otherwise cold world. Then her death encased my soul in a frigid tomb for ten very long years. Until Cami broke through with her rebellious energy and alluring persona.

She woke me the fuck up and yanked me headfirst into her fiery world. And I’d been trying to catch up ever since.

I stared at the pile of ashes once more, waiting for some profound experience to take over.

Mere moments ago, those walls held a nightmare I relived often in my mind.

Yet taking down the spell felt oddly relieving, like closure.

As though I could finally move on with my life and reside in the present instead of the past.

Does that make me a bad Midnight Fae? I wondered, still focused on what remained of Dakota. Or does it make me a good Hell Fae Warden?

I contemplated the questions, let them roll through my mind, and decided that neither was truly correct. I wasn’t a bad Midnight Fae for moving on, and I wasn’t exactly a good Hell Fae Warden for it either. I was just me. Ajax. A Midnight Fae tied to the Hell Fae Realm.

Because of my Phoenix Fae mate and our gorgeous little rebel.

I closed my eyes, my mind instantly connecting to Cami’s thoughts. She was lost in a sea of power, captivated by Lucifer’s explanation of his deals. Various emotions flickered through our bond. Anger. Arousal. Fear. Intrigue.

I almost asked if she needed to be rescued, but I felt a bolt of determination ripple through our connection.

A determination to trust .

I wasn’t sure what inspired her to feel that way, nor did I want to intrude any further.

So I pulled back and returned my attention to Dakota’s lifeless cell. I had considered turning her into a statue—like Constantine had done to my parents and Emelyn. But I’d opted against it and used a simple exsanguination spell.

Anticlimactic and quick.

Very unlike what she probably deserved. However, I hadn’t seen a reason to prolong it. Not when Dakota appeared to be mostly mindless anyway.

Twirling my wand in my hand, I considered the cell before me. It was minimalistic now that the glamour had vanished, leaving the room bare. Lucifer hadn’t said anything about preparing it for another inmate, so I decided to just empty it entirely for now.

With a muttered spell under my breath, I drew a pattern with my wand and noted the gold flares dancing around my purple magic. “I don’t know if I should thank you for the Phoenix Fae enhancements or punch you in the face for forcing them on me,” I told Az.

His violet gaze flickered with black as his animal peeked out at me. “You could do both. Punch me in the face and then show your gratitude by sucking my cock.”

I arched a brow. “I’m not that thankful.”

Az pushed away from the wall, his Phoenix staring at me again through his gaze. “Are you sure about that?”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m very fucking sure.”

He canted his head in that birdlike manner he often favored, his chest meeting mine.

But I held my ground and stared right back at him, our heights nearly even. “I won’t submit to you, Az. Not right now. Perhaps never again.” Because I still wasn’t entirely okay with everything that had happened between us.

Oh, I understood it. And I even felt bad for enslaving him with Virtuous Fae magic. However, there were past hurts that had not yet healed.

Az searched my eyes, almost as though he was seeking answers from deep within my soul. He wouldn’t have to search too far, our bond keeping my mind open to him in a way I could never reject—even if I wanted to.

Which… which I didn’t.

Deep down I knew that.

Az was my friend. Maybe even my best friend. I loved Shade like a brother, recognized our history together, and knew he understood me better than most.

But Az had been with me during the darkest period of my life. He’d helped me heal in his own way. Gave me an outlet for the pain. Never poked or prodded, just remained a steadfast presence at my side.

He’d hurt me, yes. Badly. However, I could feel his remorse, as well as his reasoning. It was convoluted and fucked up. And it all led to one inevitable conclusion—forgiveness.

I just wasn’t sure how to reach that end or when I would be ready for it.

Az pressed his palm to my cheek, the touch strangely gentle for him. And it was completely at odds with the fire brewing in his gaze.

“I’m sorry, Ajax,” he said. “I’m sorry I imprisoned you with my power.

I’m sorry I forced you to watch Cami suffer.

I’m sorry I chose my allegiance to Typhos over my allegiance to you.

And I’m sorry I failed you not just as a best friend but also as a mate.

It felt wrong at the time, and I hadn’t understood why.

But I get it now. I deserve far worse than a punch to the face, which is why I accept the hits to my heart. It’s what I earned through my actions.”

I frowned at him. “Are you feeling all right?” Because I’d never heard him sound so apologetic, let alone emotional. Hits to the heart? What kind of poetic shit was that?

“You’re the one who said Cami taught you how to love.”

“I said she taught me what real love is.”

“Same thing.”

“Doesn’t explain your rant,” I retorted.

“Doesn’t it, though?” he asked, his lips curling as his thumb traced my cheekbone in a gentle caress. “Maybe Cami has softened both of us.”

“I have not gone soft.”

He pressed me back into the wall, his hips meeting mine. “No, you’re still as hard and hot as ever,” he agreed. “Now stop avoiding the topic and listen to what I’ve said.”

A growl vibrated my chest. “I’ve already told you I won’t submit, Az. I meant it. So don’t fucking force it.”

“I’m not telling you to submit, Ajax. I’m asking you to listen .

To hear my apology. To know how fucking sorry I am.

To realize I’m willing to do anything and everything to make it up to you.

” He dropped his forehead to mine, his minty breath fanning across my lips.

“We speak with our bodies, Ajax. Not our mouths. That’s always been the way for us.

So fucking destroy me if you have to. I’ll accept it.

Just…” He trailed off on a sigh that had me wanting to shove him away.

We didn’t do this emotional bullshit.

We sparred. We fucked. And we sparred again.

None of this talking or admitting to feelings .

This… this was…

My jaw clenched. Because I couldn’t define this moment. It felt vulnerable and far more overwhelming than moments ago when I’d faced my past.

What the hell is wrong with me? I wondered. Why is this so much more impactful than Dakota’s death?

Because it’s Az , some part of me whispered. This is the future. The present. The way things will be from now on.

We were connected via his Phoenix. Mated for life.

And we shared Cami, too.

A mate circle.

With Melek as well, I thought begrudgingly. And Lucifer.

Fuck, it was all too much. I wanted to rant, to rage, to… to hit something .

No. Not something . Someone .

Az.

And somehow he’d known. He knew this was the emotional outlet I required. The fight I needed. The inevitable explosion I craved deep within.

Not because of my past or Dakota or the deaths of Emelyn and my parents.

It was because of this —the simmering passion between me and Az. The hum of my bond with Cami. The anger I felt toward Lucifer for leaving me on the outside for too long. The residual fury I felt toward Az for holding me at arm’s length.

Understanding his reasons was one thing. Accepting them was entirely another.

Az was right. We needed this—our outlet. A communication between our bodies. A fight between our souls.

“Flames, I hate how well you know me,” I told him. “Yet I feel like I know nothing about you at all.”

“You know more than most,” he conceded. “But you’re welcome to get to know me better.”

I grunted and shoved him off of me. “How? By chatting?”

“No,” he returned, coming right back for me and slamming me against the wall behind me. “By fighting,” he snarled, nipping my bottom lip and drawing blood.

Growling, I tried to shove him again.

He responded by grabbing my throat and squeezing it so hard I couldn’t breathe. “By fucking ,” he went on. “Whatever you want, Ajax. Whatever you need. My body is yours. My mind and soul, too. So take me back to your room and do whatever the hell you want to me.”

Az’s grip lessened, allowing me to huff a raspy laugh. “Fuck off, Az,” I ground out on a wheeze. “We both know you’ll never submit in that way.”

His Phoenix peeked at me through Az’s eyes again, then disappeared entirely, leaving only violet flames in his wake.

The palm on my throat shifted to the side of my neck as Az traced my jaw with his thumb.

“Let me prove that I mean it. Let me apologize in the only way I know how—by giving you everything.”

I shuddered, his words undoing something inside me. Because I could hear the severity of them echoing in his mind. He meant every word. Every promise. Every ounce of his need.

This was Az’s method of giving me control, a gift he’d never willingly given to anyone before. Except for maybe Cami, and even then, deep down, he’d still guided her with his preferences.

But this… this was him truly handing me the reins. Telling me to do whatever the hell I wanted. Giving me permission to play.

I stared at him, looked deep into his eyes to his very fucking soul, and did the only thing I could think to do—I kissed him.

Hard .

Mastering him with my mouth and tongue. Tasting. Licking. Owning .

And he let me.

No push and pull. No fight. Just Az submitting to me and letting me lead.

When I moved back, he looked at me with eyes that radiated a mixture of arousal and pain. This wasn’t Az. He needed control to thrive. To fight his past. To ensure he never hurt again.

However, for me, he was willing to swallow the discomfort that came with bowing to another’s strength.

Because he trusted me. And on some level, he loved me.

Perhaps not in the same way that he loved Cami, but then, my feelings for him were different from my feelings for her, too. Az and I possessed a deep bond founded on brotherhood and friendship, and that bond was underlined by mutual attraction.

We enjoyed fucking each other.

We enjoyed fighting with each other.

Except, beneath the surface, we also cared deeply about one another. Cami had solidified that affection, turning it into so much more. Then Az’s Phoenix had ensured we would be bound together for eternity.

Now I wanted to return the favor.

I’d already started without thinking, having accidentally drawn blood with my kiss.

Only that hadn’t been from my teeth breaking the skin, but his. Maybe from the force by which I’d claimed him with my mouth. Or maybe he’d done it instinctively as a gift.

Whatever the cause, it didn’t matter.

Because all I desired now was one simple outcome— a claim .

Between my soul and Az’s soul.

Driven by my Midnight Fae instincts.

His Phoenix had bitten me.

Now it was my turn to bite him.

And make him mine.