Page 14 of Hell-Bound (Pacts of the Infernal #1)

I knew it would happen again. If I touched her.

She was alone in the tavern bedroom, trying to drown her racing thoughts in a bottle of mysterious liquid. She was self-destructing—from pleasure and from pain. The irony of the amalgamation was not lost on her. That was what he was—the ultimate pleasure and the ultimate pain.

Her heart felt like it would be ripped out of her chest. She was coming down off the blissful high that his lips had given her. That temporary reprieve from the growing certainty in her mind that she was not a good person. No matter what decisions she made from now on, she could never erase the agony she had caused, even if she was still not certain of the magnitude of her sins. It didn’t matter. Unseelie were living creatures. Like her, like Benji, like Jester. They had family and friends.

Family and friends like Renata had.

Ren turned over on her bed, it was still night, and she realized how exhausted she was. She stared out at the starless sky and wished for a simpler time—stealing coins with Benji on the ship. Another pang of guilt.

It was so blatant now. She simply couldn’t run from her sin. Her greed, her lust, her wrath—the evidence was always there. She’d hardly questioned Benji when he told her to take from the other passengers. If she were honest, the pilfering gifted her a small thrill. A stroke of excitement.

She squeezed her eyes closed and willed herself to focus on the meager goodness of her life. Benji’s smile as he listened to her play, Jester’s taunting and ceaseless stories. It wasn’t much, but it sustained her, if just for a moment. Then, inevitably, his face came. King of The Hells. Stony and penetrating.

She recalled how his angular face glowed like coals when he unleashed his wrath. How unbridled it was—ripping, tearing, and mauling, all in an effort to save her. To protect her. No matter the motives, his selfish desire to retrieve his prize, he was still the first person to fight for her. Make her feel safe. Irony again—feeling safe in his monstrous arms. And as his hands explored her body, she felt entirely protected. Nothing in the cosmos, The Planes known and unknown, would dare hurt her there. No more swords could pierce through this being’s protective embrace. No emotion could pierce through. And though she knew it was entirely one-sided, she would linger on these feelings. Take comfort in the, perhaps, misplaced relief before, finally, sleep.

???

She woke up with a start. Someone was knocking at her door.

“Miss! Another message for ye!”

Fred’s voice said.

Groaning, she turned towards the door.

“Coming.”

Meeting with The Gilded Triangle was not something she was looking forward to after making out with the most powerful sinner alive. The guilt rippled through her.

She rolled lazily off the bed and dressed, braiding her long, silvery hair to disguise its knots. It had been a while since she’d bathed.

Tromping down the stairs, she saw the small glass tumbler waiting for her, but no Fred. She picked up the glass and swirled the viscous red liquid inside, watching as it coated the sides and slid down thickly.

She pinched her nose and drank, chills forming on her skin at the offensive metallic taste.

With a swirl, Leo appeared, dust wafting up from the floor. His hands were clasped in front of his robes with a concerned look on his face.

Ren felt absurdly awkward as if she were being admonished for her sins by a parent. Not knowing what to do with her hands, she decided the best course of action was to follow his lead and cross them in front of her, standing at attention. More discomfort. The stance, reminiscent of something from her past.

She didn’t like it.

“Renata. It is good to see you,”

his words hurried.

“did your intel bear fruit? Are you closer to locating Vutar’ka Zhartun? Nainaur has become increasingly impatient.”

Taking a page from Azur’s book, Ren kept her face impassive.

“I’m sure you realize that this will take time, Leo. This is an entire plane of existence with many locations to search. But I believe I’m getting close.”

Liar, her inner voice quipped.

Leo nodded.

“Yes, of course.”

He looked down at his hands.

“Renata, this is a bit unorthodox, even for me, but Nainaur would like to speak with you. Alone.”

Ren’s eyes widened. An all-knowing god wanted to talk to her.

I’m completely fucked. He knows.

Kisses from The King of Devils suddenly no longer seemed safe. Could The Almighty punish her for such a transgression?

“Do you…know what he wants?”

she asked sheepishly.

Leo’s eyes became hard.

“No, Renata. My Lord and The Almighty Savior of Mortals has asked for an audience with you. I dare not question his supreme wisdom.”

“Yes, of course. It’s just that—I wanted to make sure I was prepared. Seeing a…god…must be an intimidating experience. Some might say a unique one,”

she hedged, trying to see what he knew if he’d discovered that her patron was Azur.

He nodded reverently, calmer than before.

“This will truly be an inspirational moment for you. I have no doubt that once you are in the presence of The Almighty, you will recognize the urgency to recover your soul and turn to him. Nainaur will call upon you soon. Await his summons here at the tower.”

“Yes, all right. Of course,”

she said, trying to sound as cooperative as possible.

“We will be in touch, Renata.”

With the slightest blurring in the room, he left.

Relieved, Ren sank into the nearest seat, rubbing her forehead with two fingers. With only the slightest change in temperature, she noticed that her hands were seeping the smoky substance.

“For the love of all that is holy and evil! Could you give me a second!”

she bellowed before vanishing once more.

The room changed, and Ren appeared mere inches from the form of Azur, who was standing poised in front of her—so close that she had to look up to see him.

He looked expectant. Annoyed even, without a hint, that he was at all affected by their tryst the previous evening.

“Ren, I again have need of your services,”

he stated, plainly.

She backed up a few inches.

“Of course you do,”

she grumbled.

He slid his hands into his pocket.

“Testy this morning, are we?”

he asked in mocked concern.

“Did you…get enough sleep? Or was there something or someone that…occupied your mind?”

Her hands clenched into tight fists.

“No, nothing occupied my mind. Nothing too interesting has happened to me as of late. I slept like a baby, actually.”

Hiding a smile, the Devil made a disbelieving sound through closed lips.

“I’m very glad to hear it. One mustn’t lose sleep. It leaves one wanting, don’t you think?”

“Look, what do you need? I’m a bit preoccupied right now.”

He slid the booklet out of his pocket.

“I need your help with this,”

he said, casually.

Ren let herself smirk in response, feeling a bit gleeful.

“Well, well. Mr. All Powerful Devil God. You need myyyyy help?”

She batted her eyelashes, a move she’d recently learned from Jester.

“Yes, in fact, I do,”

he said, his words laced with boredom.

“Did you look at this document before you delivered it to me?”

She hadn’t. She hadn’t even thought to pry.

“No. I didn’t.”

He nodded and opened the small book, which showed her the first page. But it wasn’t a book at all—it was music—handwritten in dark sharp scrawl.

Unable to control herself, she seized the pages, holding them in her hands with urgent desire. It had been ever so long since she had seen the gorgeous writing of sheet music. Most musicians couldn’t read it, making it painfully uncommon.

“You can read it?” he asked.

Speechless, she nodded, caught up in her own trance.

He spoke purposefully.

“I need you to play it for me.”

Tearing her eyes away from the pages, she responded.

“Play it? I can. But—why?”

He lifted his chin.

“As much as I admire your curious spirit, it is a private matter.”

She looked back down at the music, craving. Oh yes, this is what she wanted to play—she wanted to discover the secrets within those notes. What feelings had the composer hidden within?

Wait.

“It’s a message isn’t it. A letter? You need me to play it to find out the meaning.”

There was the subtlest change in his face.

“Yes, in fact. It is. So would you help me?”

He cleared his throat. “Please.”

She gaped. The Lord of Hells just said please.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

And an idea.

When in hell, do as the Devils do.

“Of coooourse, I’ll help you, Azur,”

she crooned, matching his normal patronizing tone.

“But as you know, I don’t work for free.”

She smiled mischievously.

Azur gifted her his own wide smile.

“You are truly remarkable, my darling. Indeed, I am intrigued. What would you like in exchange?”

Ren felt for the crumpled paper still in her trouser pocket and produced it.

“What does this say?”

He took the page and straightened it, taking a beat to read. As he did, Ren noticed that his breathing began to deepen, and his eyes flashed.

“I agree,”

he said without glancing up from the script.

“I will reveal what this says if you play me the music.”

The ritual began. The contract appeared, arm cut, and line signed.

“Now play,”

he ordered.

She plucked her piccolo from her side and settled the music on his desk. It was a complicated jumble of unstructured notes. She brought her companion to her lips and began the song. She played the first line, a heavy cadence of minor and staccato sounds, but as she moved along, she felt herself lose grip. Lose the time of the song as the pages alighted in fire. Smoke filled the room.

Ren jumped back, yanking her piccolo from her lips, choking and gasping for air.

Azur didn’t move, he only stared into the smoke, jaw tightly clenched.

The smoke began to take shape, and a form made entirely of black webbing appeared and spoke.

“Xarek Wyvryn does hereby agree to uncover the weakness of Lord Azur Pelegros and vows to surrender this information for the exclusive employ of the designated party to use as they see fit. If this information serves to subdue Lord Azur Pelegros, Xarek Wyvryn will thusly take over Lord Azur Pelegros’ position as King of The Hells for the rest of his Immortal life.”

As the words echoed off the stone walls, the webbing shattered and floated to the carpet before melting like snowflakes.

“It was…a contract,”

Ren murmured under her breath.

She looked up to Lord Azur, his hand frozen in the air in front of him as if reaching for something.

His eyes wavered.

Ren didn’t know what to say, so she waited as Azur looked through her.

He finally lowered his hand and swallowed.

“It seems,”

his voice was steady despite the change in his eyes.

“that my dear friend Xarek is trying to do away with me.”

“But…you’re a god, right? You can’t be killed,”

she offered.

Finally turning his attention towards her, his eyes set back to their serious tone.

“You are right, my dear. The trouble is, Xarek Wyvryn is not an idiot. Whoever he signed this contract with has plans for me. It didn’t say kill, after all.”

He lifted his hand to run it through his hair, a curl falling free. He looked flustered—actually flustered.

“Wow. A god is scared of a little violin player,”

she said coyly.

He walked towards her torturously slow.

“Oh my darling Ren,”

his face pained.

“do you know what this says?”

He held up the paper with her name on it.

“Xarek knows about you—knows your name. He has plans for you, my pet. He plans to try to use you. Control you.”

Ren suddenly felt very small and very afraid. She had felt Xarek’s power that night. It wasn’t as overwhelming as Azur’s, but something about Xarek’s power, his type of power, was irresistible to her. Ren recalled the fog in her head. Her mind flooded with desire and lust as she danced. The smell of his breath made her numb to everything. Everything except Azur’s voice.

“He can’t do that. Right? He can’t control me—”

“Oh, but he can, my darling. He does what Devils do best!”

“Have you tried to control me?”

she spat more from fear than anger.

“No, Ren. I cannot compel you. I cannot control you,”

he said.

“we have a contract.”

It wasn’t an explicit revelation of truth, but she understood nonetheless.

“It’s in my contract? That you can’t control me?”

His chest barely moved as he breathed.

“One might say that there have been contracts signed by myself and other parties in the past to ensure that every interaction between the two parties must be…consensual. However, other Devils,”

he proceeded.

“are not bound by such constraints. Devils, especially those that are lords within The Hells, like Xarek, have influence over Mortals. Powerful influence.”

Her throat closed. She tried to suck in air, but it wouldn’t come. This was happening again. The loss of control—the complete inability to grasp any certainty in her life. Her unknown past haunted her, the unknown path ahead, and now the knowledge that she could be utterly manipulated and controlled by another entity. She felt her legs shake, and she looked around wildly.

“Ren. Ren!”

a voice came.

She started to lose her footing and fall, but as she did, Azur reached out to steady her, scooping her up in his arms.

“Godsdammit, Ren!”

he said as he crossed the room quickly, pushed the giant stacks of documents off his table, and laid her there.

She was gasping now, eyes beginning to blur, struggling to suck even the tiniest amount of oxygen into her burning lungs.

Azur had one arm wrapped around her, and the other pushed silver hair from her sweating face, cupping her cheek.

“Look at me, Ren. Just look at me.”

She did. His eyes were fire, the color of the flame before blue and yellow met.

“You’re safe here with me, Ren. You will not be used by Xarek.”

Her eyes were unfocused. She was losing herself again. She was going to fall deeper into a black hole that she didn’t even know if she wanted to crawl out of.

“I have you, Ren.”

He placed one large hand in between her breast bone.

“Just stay with me.”

But she couldn’t. There was nothing else for her to stay for. Her eyes streamed salty tears that landed in her open mouth, still futilely fighting for snatches of air.

“Let me help you,”

he said softly.

“You have to let me help you. But it’s your choice. This doesn’t have to be the end of your story.”

He was right, wasn’t he? She wasn’t sure if she was a good person. She knew whatever she had been couldn’t be forgiven. But that didn’t mean life had to stop for her. She got to decide who she was, didn’t she? Didn’t Ren have the right to make her own choices?

She grabbed him by his vest and pleaded with her eyes.

Don’t let me die here, Azur.

He blinked. His hand was still on her breastbone, which started to glow with warm magic. Black wisps curled around his fingers and flowed into her chest. Her throat instantly began to loosen, small fragments of air finally making their way into her lungs. She sputtered and gasped as tears streamed down her face.

Azur leaned his forehead to hers.

“That’s it, just breathe. A little at a time.”

She obeyed until her rigid body loosened and her watery vision cleared. She realized she was still clutching him, and he still had her locked in an embrace.

“You’re okay now,”

he said, releasing her and straightening.

“W-what the hell was that?”

she croaked.

The Devil looked at her pityingly.

“You had a panic attack, Ren.”

“A panic attack? But…I’ve never had that before. Why-what happened?”

Azur shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Wait. Have I had these before?”

she asked.

He did not respond.

She pushed herself up and stumbled down from the desk.

“I’m fine,”

she barked as Azur reached to steady her.

“It’s just a shit ton of shit to process and I can’t—what does this mean for me?”

Her breath was still uneven.

“That depends entirely on you,”

he said, his voice quiet.

“I won’t let him touch you. You’re under my protection.”

She nodded small, processing.

“But he could, potentially?”

Azur’s nostrils flared.

“Does he have the power? Yes. Would he have the opportunity, fuck no. I will not let him use you.”

She scoffed.

“When did you start to care so much?”

His sharp ears pinkened.

“Because you’re mine, Ren,”

he replied sharply, nostrils flaring, eyes flashing.

She didn’t know how to respond. She was too surprised at his abrupt loss of composure.

He cleared his throat.

“But there is something else, darling.”

His voice still maintained its sharp edge.

“Something that perplexes me. The document you found? Xarek plans to use you to take down my kingdom.”