Page 55 of Heir to a Curse
“Just stories,” I clarified. “About destiny.”
He nodded like he understood.
“So if I stay for a while,” I began, “can things like starvation and cold kill me?” I had no idea if the water I was drinking was actually hydrating me. Perhaps it was part of an illusion of comfort and I’d die of dehydration first.
He shrugged. “I don’t know?”
I stewed over that for a few minutes. There was only one reason he didn’t know. The former me had never stayed long. And I wasn’t honestly certain how long I could stay now, even knowing the possible fate that could befall me. Did anyone willingly starve to death when they had another choice? And what was the other choice? Leave Xiang behind, at the mercy of a curse he had no say in? How was that fair? But obviously Xiang wouldn’t die. Not from the terrible banes of this world. At least I didn’t think so.
“What about the monsters? Can they hurt you?”
He nodded, and stood, moving closer so I could see him clearer. Since the bright light of the day shone through the open door to the garden, when he loosened his robe, I could see a thousand scars. Including ones near his waist where the tentacle thing had grabbed him that first night. I sucked in air, reaching for him, but he slipped the robe back into place and returned to his tea.
“They can hurt you, but can they kill you?” It was a horrible thought to have. A clarification that I felt necessary because if I’d been him, trapped in this world for so long, I might have fed myself to the monsters just to end it all.
Again, he shrugged. “Will learn,” he said. He pointed at the door. “It will not hold forever.”
Another awful thought. He was running out of time. “What if we built a stronger door?” I looked around the room at the piles of furniture. Some of it made from pretty solid wood. None of it large enough for a door, but I could piece things together with a handful of tools. Though not having a solid chunk would decrease the integrity. “Maybe engrave a talisman into it?”
“Is only a door,” he said. “Not a shield, not wall. Doors are meant to be opened.”
“A wall then. I could close the opening…” But that was another prison, wasn’t it? He’d have no way out, and even if the monsters never got in, it would be an eternity of suffering for him. “Fuck. There has to be something I can do.”
He gave me a small smile. “Stay for a while. Will take you home soon.”
His nonchalance at me leaving, how easily he accepted that I would go, because I’d have to, broke my heart. I set the tea cup down and had to fight back tears for a few minutes. It was a rise of helplessness, not unlike what I’d felt when Sofia had revealed her cancer diagnosis.
He must have noticed because he came to my side, fingertips brushing away my tears, and soft kisses landing on my cheeks. “All is well.”
“It’s not,” I said. “You spend every day stuck here, dying inside, alone. How am I supposed to live with that?”
Xiang gave me a tiny smile. “Live.”
Fuck. Sofia had said much the same. Don’t spend every day dying. Live instead.
“It’s not that easy,” I told him, heart feeling like some giant fist was squeezing it.
He appeared thoughtful for a moment, then went to his stack of books. “Read to me?”
I sucked in air, a simple thing, hearing someone else’s voice. Even if he wasn’t as certain of all the words. “Sure. What do you have?” I set the tea aside and made my way to his stack of finds. A lot of classics, which was disheartening, as classics all seemed to have sad or dissatisfying endings. But toward the edge of one of the piles was an illustrated copy of “The Little Prince.” It was not in any way a great literary read, but I’d take a story of hope at that moment. I grabbed it up and reached for his hand, tugging him back to his little nest.
We curled up together in the corner, and I began to read, putting emphasis on certain words, and telling the story like I was an audio narrator instead of just a contractor. He fit snugly against me, warmth and peace pressing into my chest and side. Like he was everything I’d been missing my whole life. And yet, was there any way to save him? I had to work hard to focus on the story, my hand in his hair, the scent of him more like a fresh meadow than the modern chemical smells I was used to.
I finished the book and set it aside. Feeling only a little calmer, and no less angry at the situation. Xiang took the book and held it up. “Rose is strong,” he said.
“Sure. It had thorns the whole time,” I agreed.
He gathered up a handful of blank papers, tucking them into some folds of his robe. “I am strong.”
“Of course. I would never think otherwise.” An amazing amount of strength was required to survive for centuries alone in a world filled with monsters, starvation, and ice. Fuck. I fought back the frustration again, tears dotting my sight.
“Show you?” Xiang said, motioning at the closed door.
“Is it safe?” I asked getting up.
He nodded. “During the day. Less awake. We stay close.”
“Okay,” I agreed, tying my robe tight around me. “But I don’t want to go home yet. I want to stay with you a little longer.”