Page 14

Chapter

Fourteen

“ O pen your eyes, Angel!” a rough voice shouts. “Come on. Open your eyes, Ivy!”

Something hard pounds against my chest, and my eyes shoot open. Wet coughs rack through me as water pours from my mouth. Rolling onto my side, I purge the river from my stomach until there’s nothing left. My ribs protesting with each violent heave. Nausea still churns as I wipe my mouth and finally become aware of my surroundings.

I’m lying in the bottom of the canoe with Thorne sitting a few inches away. He watches me, his expression unreadable. Water drips from his soaking wet clothes, and I recall the horror on his face when my eidolon was killed. In the confusion of the battle, did he think she was me? The memory of his behavior is completely at odds with the indifference he displays now.

Tremors scurry over my skin like invisible spiders as my mind races to catch up. I scramble to my knees, ignoring the pain as I peer overboard. I should be thrilled by the absence of pale tentacles and large teeth, but instead I stare at the placid water with eerie suspicion. There’s a certain type of paranoia that surges in the wake of violence. The shift from chaos to calm is too sudden to be trusted, leaving one with a pervasive sense that something is wrong. It can’t be over just like that.

“They’re gone,” Thorne says as something dark swims out from beneath the boat. Barely a second passes before I’ve unsheathed a blade, my arm already cocking back to throw it.

“My shadows.” He plucks the knife from my hand. “They are guarding us.”

My brows pinch together as I lean further over the side to investigate. Several snakes circle the water beneath us, no doubt hoping for a snack. I nod as I sit back down. Forcing myself to meet his gaze, I speak the words I’ve been holding back.

“Thank you.”

He shrugs as he hands me back my weapon. “I’d hate for you to lose more of your pretty knives.”

“No.” I shake my head as I sheath the blade. “For pulling me out of the water.”

“Ah.” He smirks, but it doesn’t sit quite right on his face. There’s something forced about the casual way he leans against the rail, reminding me of my own performances. “I imagine your death would put a damper on this alliance.”

I suppose it would. A shiver skates over my chilled skin as I imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t saved me. Despite the rumors people spread about me, I don’t think I’d survive being eaten alive. Drowning, however, is a different matter entirely.

Choking and suffocating are much the same, both requiring the absence of air. But for some strange twist of fate, these familiar horrors should have cut my life short many years ago. Instead, they haunt me from grave to grave, unable to close the casket. No matter how many times I survive, each standoff with this enemy fills me with terror. My fingers move to my collar, wrapping around it as I recall the way my lungs burned.

“I drowned once,” I whisper. “As a child.”

That day marked the first time I escaped the clutches of death, but not the last. I’m not sure why I bring it up, but I can’t take the words back now. Perhaps I longed to say something real. Something honest. Maybe I thought he might understand the urge to speak an ugly truth instead of a pretty lie.

Thorne’s head tilts to the side, sending a strand of wet hair falling across his forehead. He makes no move to brush it away. Instead, his attention is focused on me, as if I’m some strange problem he can’t solve. For a moment, I think he won’t respond, but then he gestures to my necklace.

“You touch that a lot.”

“Do I?” I drop my hands into my lap, balling them into fists to stop their shaking.

“I didn’t think most highborn ladies wore the same jewels every day.”

The unasked questions in his eyes demand answers, forcing me to look away before I do something crazy like give them to him.

“It was a gift,” I murmur, staring at the shadows once more.

“From your lover?”

“From the king,” I correct him, as if somehow that distinction matters.

“Is there a difference?”

Yes . I want to scream the word. I imagine my voice echoing off the walls of this cavern, bouncing all the way back to Baylor himself. But I hold my tongue, shifting to face Thorne with a practiced smile.

“No.” I shake my head. “Not really.”

We sit in silence for a few moments, swaying with the gentle swells of the river. He turns his head, gazing at the path before us. A bit of green clings to one of his dark locks, no doubt a piece of algae.

Without thinking, I move forward to brush it away, but a gloved hand darts out, snagging my wrist in a punishing grip. He drops it immediately, as if I burned him. He physically recoils from me as he moves to the other side of the canoe.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” His eyes are feverish as he stares at me with disgust. “Ever.”

My eyes widen as heat flames my face. “I’m sor?—”

“Don’t apologize,” he cuts me off, his tone harsh. “Just tell me you understand.”

Dropping my gaze, I nod as my stomach churns from the shame.

That’s a boundary I can respect—should have respected from the start. I don’t know why I reached out to touch him. We aren’t friends. We’re barely allies. Of course he doesn’t want the king’s whore anywhere near him. No one wants the dirty pet to get too close, even if it was innocent.

I scoot back, awkwardly settling into my seat at the opposite end of the boat. Picking up my oar, I avoid looking at Thorne.

“We should keep moving,” I say, my voice steady.

“Ivy, I?—”

I shake my head, cutting him off. “Those creatures are gone for now, but they could come back.”

I don’t glance in his direction again until he settles into his own seat, turning his back to me. Neither of us speaks as we begin to row again. The heavy atmosphere pushes in on me, but I ignore it.

Thinking back over my day, I realize it was designed to test me. All of my carefully concealed nightmares somehow followed me into my waking hours, accompanied by horrifying new monsters that will no doubt haunt me forever. Picturing the squid’s sharp teeth, I wonder if Darby encountered them too. Did he even make it out of this cave, or did he meet his end underneath the waves? And if all of this was a test, what exactly are the Fates trying to prepare me for?

After another hour of rowing, we finally come upon a shoreline only a few yards from the mouth of the cave. A much-welcomed breeze floats over the water, carrying the scent of the lush forest on the other side. Moonlight peeks through the opening, casting an ethereal glow upon the lonely canoe banked in the mud.

“I guess this confirms Darby survived the squid,” I mutter as we wade through the sludge, dragging our boat to shore.

“But he didn’t escape unscathed.” Thorne’s voice is cold as he points to a bloody handprint on the side of the vessel.

My fingers move to my blades as I step closer. Peering inside, I find dark red stains marking the bottom of the canoe.

“Where would he go for aid if he were injured?” Thorne asks.

“I’m sure guards have been stationed at his home since this morning, and there’s likely a perimeter around the city. But it’s possible he went there before anyone knew the blade was missing.”

He shakes his head. “I doubt he’s stupid enough to stay at his own house, but we should at least interview his wife.”

“I agree,” I tell him. “But that conversation can wait until morning.”

He gives me an incredulous glance. “We don’t have time to waste.”

I heave a frustrated sigh as I tuck a strand of wet hair behind my ear. “She’s probably exhausted from the stress of her husband’s crime. I doubt she will be in a talkative mood if we barge into her home and wake her children in the middle of the night.”

He ponders this for a few moments before conceding. “I suppose your instincts may be better when it comes to women.”

I roll my eyes. “Besides, do you even know where she lives?”

He pauses. “Fair point. I’m guessing you’ll get those details?”

I nod as we step out of the cave. Tall pine trees surround us as we enter a forest. I’m guessing it’s part of the woods that borders the Lowers. I nearly groan as my tired legs protest at the thought of the long walk back to the palace. Perhaps I will be able to pay someone for a ride, so I don’t have to climb hilly streets for the next hour.

My mouth opens wide on a yawn as I stretch my arms above my head. “Meet me outside the pub around sunrise, and we can go speak to her together.”

I start to make my way through the forest, hearing his steps behind me as I hop over a fallen log. We’re heading for an opening in the trees when he tenses.

“The cavalry’s coming.” He points toward something in the distance.

I follow his gaze to find a dozen soldiers on horseback crossing over a hill about a mile out. They’re likely scouring the entire city and its surrounding areas, searching for Darby. My heart squeezes as I pray to the Fates that Remy is in that group and he wasn’t hurt when the tunnel collapsed.

I note their direction as they disappear behind a copse of trees. I should be able to cross paths with them and get a ride home. A strange ripping sound comes from behind me and I turn to find Thorne standing a few feet away with his wings fully extended. They stretch at least six feet on both sides, and I wonder once more how he manages to hide them.

My breath hitches at the sight of their beauty. The black feathers are just as lush and alluring as the first time I saw them. My fingers itch to feel their softness, but I ignore the impulse, remembering the anger on his face before.

He grins. “You said you wanted to see them again.”

“That’s not what I?—”

“Until tomorrow, Angel,” he cuts me off.

With a powerful flap of his wings, Thorne rises into the air and disappears into the night sky. Within seconds, he’s nothing more than a speck among the stars.

“Fucking reaper,” I mutter to myself as I begin my solitary walk to find the soldiers. I’ll be glad when we’ve located Darby, and I never have to lay eyes on Lord Thorne ever again.

His hand holds my hair in a tight grip as he shoves my head underwater.

My feet kick wildly as I try to push to the surface, but it hovers above me, another world just beyond my reach. My fingers claw and scratch at his hand, digging into his flesh with all my strength.

He yanks me up by my hair, and I gasp, my mouth opening wide to take in as much air as possible.

My chest expands painfully as tears leak from my eyes, mixing with the dirty lake water that clings to my skin. Instinctively, I grab his wrist, trying to take some of the weight off my screaming scalp.

I want to call out for Bel and beg him to find me, but I can’t catch my breath.

“You’re an abomination,” a rough voice whispers in my ear. “I should have done this the night your whore mother brought you into the world. Die, you wretched beast!”

The water swallows me whole as I’m plunged below the surface again.

No. No. No!

Water floods my mouth as I release a scream of rage. In some distant corner of my mind, I recognize the voice. I understand the meaning behind his words.

I know exactly whose hand holds me under.

My legs still kick, but not as forcefully. Fatigue is settling into my aching muscles. I always believed water could extinguish any flame, but the heat in my lungs burns me from the inside out. My grip on the man above me slips right before my hand splashes back into the water. I want to reach for him again, but I can’t think past the pressure in my head.

The temptation to fill my lungs is too great to be denied.

Tired of fighting, I give in to that deep, gnawing urge.

I breathe the water in, then out.

It’s just like breathing air, only heavier somehow. My lips twitch with the ghost of a smile as the fire inside of me finally dies.

The hand that was holding me lets go, but instead of floating to the surface, I sink below the depths. The water welcomes me into its cold embrace, as if I belong here. Maybe I do? Now that I’ve stopped thrashing about, I see a few fish swimming in the distance. Their iridescent scales flicker pretty colors as the sun hits them.

My heavy lids fight to stay open, but sleep calls to me. If Clara finds out I’m napping, she’ll be angry. She says ten is too old to still take naps every day. But Clara will never think to search for me down here. It’s the perfect hiding spot.

Something large splashes at the surface, and a dark shape moves toward me. As it gets closer, I recognize my brother’s face. The final image I see before my eyes drift shut is Bel’s hand reaching for me, but a dark voice whispers that he’s too late.

I ’m already gone.

I shoot up in my bed, desperate for the air I’d been denied in my dream.

My original fear.

My first haunting.

I catch my dim reflection in the mirror across the room. My chest heaves against the white nightgown, and messy, unbound hair crowds my face. Staring into my amber eyes, I recite my familiar lies.

“It was just a nightmare.”

It wasn’t.

“The past cannot touch me here in the present.”

Yes, it can.

“This will be the last time.”

It never is.