Page 90 of Hearts Held

Fucking torture.

The needle pierces my skin and the fullness from the metal stretches my vein. Taking one long inhale to try to steady my breath, I press down slowly.

Injecting the substance.

The heat of the liquid slowly soothes me as it flows up my arm.

Before I may reach over to refill my syringe, the telephone rings.

I growl but take a moment to ponder if it might beher.

My angel. My sun.

Thank God for hallucinations.

Swiftly getting up from the ground, unsteady and stumbling, I rush to the bedside table to grab the phone. My shitty shaking hands cause it to clatter to the floor as I crash to all fours and clutch the phone receiver.

My eyes well with tears because I’m so frustrated and hope I haven’t missed her.

“Hello?” I say, clearing my throat and sitting on my ass back against the side of my bed.

There is a pregnant pause. It’s too long. Maybe it’s my fucking brother.

God fucking dammit. What if I missed her? Maybe I need to take some more and she’ll call back.

Then an angelic voice calls to me.

“Bobby?”

It’s her.

Fuck, I miss her.

“Hi, darling, I’m here. I miss you.” I try to keep my voice steady so as not to embarrass myself, but fuck it’s hard. A tear escapes my eye, the warm drop sliding slowly down my cheek.

“I miss you, darling. I need you,” she states softly.

I sit up, grasping the receiver with such force I may crush it in my hand. “Yes, darling. What may I do?”

A couple times she has called not to just haunt me, but to order me as heravenging angel.

If she only knew I’m too far gone to be just that—I’m a fucking demon now.

I’m worse than an Adder.

Fuck the code.

Fuck the business.

I will make all of them pay for taking her from me.

She gives me new orders and details on how to deliver carnage to the next poor, shitty souls. These Italian cunts will pay.

“Anything for you, love. Let me get my shit together and I’ll go get ’em, darling,” I reassure her ghost, then kiss the receiver just like I used to kiss her cheekgood-bye.

“Bobby?” she asks quietly, almost like she is fading away from this realm.

“Yes, darling?” I quickly respond.