Page 27 of Heartless Wolf (Wolf Moon Rejected #1)
CHAPTER 27 - DASH
Trigger warnings: discussion of rejection and accident that injured a secondary character.
The clubhouse thumped with music and Slade’s booming cheer. The Bathurst president popped the cork on a champagne bottle and poured his woman a drink, then any pussy who accepted girly champagne. Out came the booze to celebrate a delivery job well done. I waved away the bubbly, determined to stick with my five percent ginger beer. Exhaustion from the long ride and getting drunk wouldn’t keep my mind sharp to protect Liv if she tried to run again.
Aaliyah glanced at Liv and smiled, passing her a spare champagne glass, nursing her own. They seemed in sync, tapping their glasses, murmuring to each other, and I wondered what topics they discussed during our absence. Long chats about the biker world and relationships with one, likely.
That thought intensified when the president’s missus got dragged into his arms for a deep kiss that made my balls ache at how long I’d have to wait to do that to Liv.
Standing awkwardly on the edge of the group, broken and battered from the last two days, Liv quietly sipped at her drink. Aaliyah must have put my mate through a round of further healing, removing the toxic influence of the iron from Liv’s skin and blood. Liv’s straight posture and raised chin oozed Alpha power. Remnants of yellow bruises marred her nose, beneath her eyes, stretching to her cheek and top lip. Bitter heat flushed through me, a pledge of what I’d do to TJ fucking Malice when I got my hands on him again.
Steel blue eyes observed the raucous world of wild, boisterous men and testosterone commanding the space in our lounge room. Commotion she’d soon get used to if she were mine.
Fuck. Rewind. Delete.
Thoughts I ought to curb. She couldn’t be my mate with the witch alive and missing. I lost Liv once, and now that she came back to me, I wouldn’t lose her again, no matter how much I wanted her.
“You all did good today.” Beers passed between all the men as Slade dispensed them, congratulating everyone on the run with a smile and thump on the shoulder. “Special commendations to your fearless leader who showed the cops the definition of their asshole!” He reserved the biggest pat for me, sending me reeling forward, encouraging my brothers to jeer and laugh.
Damn the moon and its hold on me, waning by the day, but not entirely gone for another two days. Time I couldn’t afford every month when our delivery schedule ramped up in three months.
Cheers bellowed around the room, the loudest from Steele, who threw an arm over my shoulder, shaking mine. My VP was glad we made it back in one piece, free and not locked in a Lithgow Police jail cell after our close fucking call with the dirty cops. Tomorrow he’d take the day off and spend it with Abby. Maybe swing by with his daughter to visit Liv… if my mate hadn’t left by then to return to her pack.
Liquid bubbled over the edge of a second champagne stem courtesy of party boy Alaric, spurred on by Arden. Those two were a bad influence on each other. Even though Alaric didn’t drink, the guy knew how to party, and after long days and even longer nights spent training us, he was down to let loose.
Slade waited for me to give a rallying speech to commend my men. Fuck. Leadership time. The only words of encouragement I got from my father was that I could do better.
I steered clear of anything that asshole would utter. “I’m proud of my brothers today. We worked well under pressure and deserve this celebration and many more.”
My boss grunted with satisfaction and moseyed around the room, joking with everyone, offering a fresh round of back slaps.
I smiled and drew down some of my beer. Knotted muscles in my back and chest finally released, letting me breathe easy for the first time this month.
Apart from the close call on the way to Sydney, the run went as smoothly as planned. Dirty cops trailed our shipment and tried to get access to our truck without a warrant, and I shut those fuckers down real quick. Some fucker had provided them intel and once I found out who, he was dead. Nothing was jeopardizing the eight deliveries we were contracted for or our renegotiation with the Jackals come the end of our first six months.
Liv hovered at the edge of the party with Aaliyah, eyeing off the two club sweet butts Arden invited. Ass cheeks and tits protruded from their barely existent skirts and crop tops. Slade told them to fuck off when they went near him to bask under the glowing attention of ultimate Alpha energy.
My chest clenched with nerves at the inevitable chat I promised my mate. Better get it over with if she was leaving tomorrow, then we could have a good time tonight. I grabbed a ginger beer from the iced bucket. Hopefully she didn’t use it as a club to the head like she did the damn hydrogen peroxide.
Backed with my own liquid courage, I crossed the room to Liv. “Beer?”
She rocked her champagne flute back and forth. “No thanks.” Claws raked down my chest when she avoided looking at me.
Aaliyah gave me a sympathetic smile that screamed good luck . Based on my reception, I’d need all of it atoning for what I did.
Throat dry, I polished off half my beer, Liv’s gaze sliding to my neck, watching me drink the liquid down. I felt the dull pull of her wolf to bite me there and mark me. Instinct prompted me to stretch my neck and expose it to her, seeking her forgiveness and eternal promise of companionship.
When she didn’t take the opportunity, I numbed the rejection with idle conversation. “Don’t feel like partying?” Fuck. Could I sound any more like a cockhead?
This wasn’t a special day for her. She probably wanted to erase this whole event from her memory. I only asked because she looked exhausted and far from in the mood to drink, dance, shoot the shit, and party until morning.
I washed down more beer to dull the ache in my body to sweep her into my arms and grovel for mistreating her.
“I need to run and shake out the kinks in my back and legs from being locked up for a day.” She rubbed at her arms, glaring at the easy pussy cackling like witches in the corner. My wolf urged me to throw them out, but I didn’t want to leave her side.
“Did Aaliyah not heal you? Your bruises are almost gone?”
“As much as she could.” She whispered the last part to me, and if it wasn’t for my wolf hearing, I would have missed it. “The pregnancy tires her out and she needed to stop. Her mates don’t know about that yet.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.” I shifted to block the sluts from her deepening hostile glare. “How about playing pool with me?”
“I’d prefer some fresh air if I’m allowed.” My wolf whined at the way she said that. Like she was still my prisoner. I wasn’t lying when I said she could return home tomorrow. I’d take whatever heat came. I couldn’t bear hurting her another day.
She threw back her champagne. “Why don’t you play with your booty calls? They look like better fun than me.” I didn’t expect a friendly greeting, but outright pissed got me off-center.
Why did she keep going on about them, anyway? Ryde threw his arms over Cindy, dragging her in for a face fucking.
Only one woman in this clubhouse, in this fucking world, held my attention. The one I’d irrevocably screwed things up with and wanted to make amends with.
I made sure to show her she was the only thing that I was interested in. “I’m not interested in them. They’re Arden and Ryda’s playthings.”
The slide of her palm over her forearm slowed and her eyes finally came to mine. Fuck. Here we go. Apology time. Nerves cranked up and a sweep of heat on my collar brought sweat to the surface.
“Come out back for some air.” I took her hand, squeezing, showing her what she meant to me. “You want anything? A soda? Bag of potato crisps? Pizza?”
Despite her head shake, I grabbed a pizza box and another bottle of ginger beer anyway. Never come unprepared for a woman, especially a mate.
Outside, Liv withdrew from my grasp and stood on the porch, scanning the mountains. Too. Far. Away. Temptation prodded me to sidle up behind her, and wrap my arms around her middle. Shame rooted me to the spot. I let her admire the mountains surrounding us.
Warm air filtered through the line of trees beyond the clubhouse, bringing with it the scent of the forest and awakening my wolf’s senses. Fur and the dirty skin of the nocturnal animals out foraging for food. Musty, sweet smell of owls perched in branches, hunting for prey. Earth, rocks, and wood cooling down after baking in the sun all day. Fruity, woodsy perfumes of flowers attracting night-dwelling moths and bats for pollination.
A stifled breeze tickled my skin and fluttered her hair, and instinctively my fingers shot out to catch a lock, winding it around my finger. I wanted to tip her head back and kiss her from behind. My fingers flexed, eager to trail down the soft skin on the back of her arm, but the way she circled her body with her arms said she wouldn’t welcome it. Not until I apologized. Maybe not ever.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Small talk. Warm up to the deep shit. I wanted to punch myself in the balls for being such a cockhead.
Crickets played their nightly chorus to lure a female and I contemplated a little song of my own to win her back from anger.
“Yes, it is.” She ran her hand along the porch railing. “It’s lusher than Bathurst. Greener. Wetter. Rolling mountains.” She said it as if that were her ideal place and it made my wolf want to dig a nest for us right there and then.
I set the box down on the outside table and came to stand beside her. Her silence and back to me told me back the fuck off. What I had to say shouldn’t be put off any longer.
“About the cell...” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I was an asshole to hold you like that. To take you from the bakery without your consent. I panicked when he hurt you. I went into a fucking frenzy and didn’t think it through.”
She looked up at me rather than through me and the depths of her eyes went from thunderous to dreary day. “You’ve always been more wolf than man.”
A fair assessment. I lived in the moment like my animal, spirited and unbridled. Wolves didn’t hold onto grudges the way humans did. Scaling tension with my father impelled me deeper into my human side where antipathy ruled.
The call of my fated mate, the strain of keeping my distance from her weighed me down to the point of losing my battle and giving everything to her. The love she deserved. The mate she deserved. Consequences be damned. After all, I was a greedy bastard, and I got tired of holding out. Denying myself happiness and companionship. Hid from my fate when I should have run straight to it. With my Lunar mate looking about to break down, I wanted her against me, in my arms, giving her the comfort she sought.
I turned to her and this time I didn’t hold fucking back. Didn’t use the damn spell hanging over my neck as an excuse to stay away. Arms curled around her, I brought her closer to my chest, where I wanted her the past eighteen hundred days. A soft, soothing purr vibrated in my chest, a sound I never made before. Only for her. My wolf and I took pleasure at the feel of her back in my arms instead of at war with me.
For some time she clung to me, burying her head beneath my chin. I felt the storm rise on our bond, the pressure change, a crackle of lightning, the hiss of wind, and I sensed the past surface for addressing.
“You left me at the Harvest Dance all alone. No text. No call. No explanation.” Anguish rolled on the bond like a tempestuous storm. “You just vanished. You owed me more than that.”
Darkness caged me for turning my back on her. I stole the moonlight from her sky and basked her in shadow, and I hated myself for it.
I already alluded to why I didn’t show at the Harvest Dance, but now she’d get the full story. “Chase’s accident tore me in two. I blamed myself. Still do. I chose to save you and because of it, my brother paid the price. Because I’ll always fucking choose you, Liv, and I’m terrified of what price you’ll pay. I’d rather destroy myself than wreck you.”
“That wasn’t a choice for you to make alone.” Every word cut to the bone. “Don’t I get a say?” Her fists clenched, ready to beat my chest. “I never get a say in my life and I’m tired of it.”
Heirs rarely had control of their future. Duty to pack. Arranged marriages. Predestined fucking futures. I kept that to myself when she needed comfort and solace rather than a solemn reminder.
“I was an asshole for making a decision on what was best for you.” I squeezed her fist in an attempt to break up the sour heat. “If you were mine, we’d make decisions together.”
Glassy eyes peered into mine. “But you’re not mine. Breaking our bond is the worst thing you could have done after you put me through hell.”
Fuck. No shifter recovered from a blow like breaking their mate’s heart. Worse than cheating on her in our world. “I had to break the Lunar bond to keep you safe from the witch.” My fists clenched so hard they ached.
“Yet you kidnapped me and endangered both our packs.” I traced her sculpted lips as she spoke, getting my fill of them before she left tomorrow.
“I’m a selfish heartless bastard, just like you said.”
Her frown evaporated into a smile, and she shoved me for that.
The softest silk met my touch and I let out a pleased sigh, tracing every inch of her face, needing to map it with my fingertips. “I’m sorry, Liv. The last thing I wanted to do is hurt you.”
She stiffened, and a chill settled in, the kind where someone got stuck under thunderclouds rolling in, blocking the warmth of the sun. “Why weren’t you honest about the witch, Dash? I could have helped, you know.” The jump to the present jolted me. “It hurt that you didn’t trust me with the truth.”
Sounded like we both had trust issues. I didn’t trust myself with her. She didn’t trust I wouldn’t hurt her again.
Liv was a born leader. Big-hearted, tenacious, respected by her pack. A problem solver, where my unruliness created snags.
Regret pounded my chest and it hurt to breathe. “The heir’s job is to protect the pack yet I put them in jeopardy. My father thinks I’m a disappointment, and I couldn’t bear the shame in my mate’s eyes on top of that.”
Secrets and lies unraveled the knot behind my ribs. Dread of her reply hitched the breath in my lungs. What she said next determined whether I fucked up again and lost her a second time.